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Frank Zappa Quotes
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Frank Zappa Quote: “This is a stupid song and that’s the way I like it.”

This is a stupid song and that’s the way I like it.

— Frank Zappa



Frank Zappa Quote: “Maybe you should stay with your mama, you’re kind of stupid and ugly, too.”

Maybe you should stay with your mama, you’re kind of stupid and ugly, too.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?”

Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people’s minds.”

One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people’s minds.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “There will never be a nuclear war; there’s too much real estate involved.”

There will never be a nuclear war; there’s too much real estate involved.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they’re property.”

The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they’re property.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Drugs will turn you into your parents.”

Drugs will turn you into your parents.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “I think that if you use the so-called “strong words” you’ll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you.”

I think that if you use the so-called “strong words” you’ll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Rock music was never written for or performed for conservative tastes.”

Rock music was never written for or performed for conservative tastes.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Just because somebody hears something you say, or reads something that you write, doesn’t mean you’ve reached them.”

Just because somebody hears something you say, or reads something that you write, doesn’t mean you’ve reached them.

— Frank Zappa



Frank Zappa Quote: “The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe!”

The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe!

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn’t work.”

Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn’t work.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively – because without this humble appliance, you can’t know where The Art stops and The Real World begins.”

The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively – because without this humble appliance, you can’t know where The Art stops and The Real World begins.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents – because they have a tame child-creature in their house.”

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents – because they have a tame child-creature in their house.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.”

Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.”

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “I write what I like to write. Those who like to listen to it, listen to it. And the ones who don’t, watch football and drink beer, jog, go to discos and so forth. I never claimed to be a man for all seasons.”

I write what I like to write. Those who like to listen to it, listen to it. And the ones who don’t, watch football and drink beer, jog, go to discos and so forth. I never claimed to be a man for all seasons.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.”

The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “She is an office girl, her name is Betty. Her favorite group is Helen Reddy.”

She is an office girl, her name is Betty. Her favorite group is Helen Reddy.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.”

Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.

— Frank Zappa



Frank Zappa Quote: “Information doesn’t kill you.”

Information doesn’t kill you.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “I think that if a person doesn’t feel cynical then they’re out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization – you can’t just swallow it whole.”

I think that if a person doesn’t feel cynical then they’re out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization – you can’t just swallow it whole.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “The last election just laid the foundation of the next 500 years of Dark Ages.”

The last election just laid the foundation of the next 500 years of Dark Ages.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Whatever you have to do to have a good time, let’s get on with it, so long as it doesn’t cause a murder.”

Whatever you have to do to have a good time, let’s get on with it, so long as it doesn’t cause a murder.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain’t what you’re not. So see what you got?”

You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain’t what you’re not. So see what you got?

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.”

Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.”

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “I ain’t the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she don’t change those evil ways, I’m gonna make her bleed.”

I ain’t the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she don’t change those evil ways, I’m gonna make her bleed.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous.”

Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants?”

Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants?

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “I think you should leave it up to the parent, because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant.”

I think you should leave it up to the parent, because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There’s a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things.”

Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There’s a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.”

The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “I’m the devil’s advocate. We have our own worshipers.”

I’m the devil’s advocate. We have our own worshipers.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “My balls feel like a pair of maracas.”

My balls feel like a pair of maracas.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Do your job and do it right, life’s a ball, TV tonight.”

Do your job and do it right, life’s a ball, TV tonight.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on.”

The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “It isn’t necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.”

It isn’t necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay.”

Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Did you ever consider that LSD was really one of the most dangerous drugs ever manufactured because the people who took it turned into yuppies?”

Did you ever consider that LSD was really one of the most dangerous drugs ever manufactured because the people who took it turned into yuppies?

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Definition of rock journalism: People who can’t write, doing interviews with people who can’t think, in order to prepare articles for people who can’t read.”

Definition of rock journalism: People who can’t write, doing interviews with people who can’t think, in order to prepare articles for people who can’t read.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.”

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “I’m more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot.”

I’m more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public.”

Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “My school spirit is at an all time low, I’m losing my status at the school.”

My school spirit is at an all time low, I’m losing my status at the school.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “If we can’t be free at least we can be cheap.”

If we can’t be free at least we can be cheap.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it’s the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.”

Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it’s the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “Our big prize tonight is fifty American dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protuberances.”

Our big prize tonight is fifty American dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protuberances.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “My guitar wants to kill your mama.”

My guitar wants to kill your mama.

— Frank Zappa


Frank Zappa Quote: “I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don’t want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole.”

I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don’t want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole.

— Frank Zappa

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