Top 280 Frank Zappa Quotes (2025 Update)
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201. “Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary.”

— Frank Zappa

202. “In a fight between yourself and the world, always side with the world.”

— Frank Zappa

203. “The devil, he’s about this big. He had a red suit on and a widow’s peak, and then a pointed tail, and like a sulfur reek. Yes, it was him alright, I swear.”

— Frank Zappa

204. “Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.”

— Frank Zappa

205. “You is what you am, a cow don’t make ham.”

— Frank Zappa

206. “While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin’.”

— Frank Zappa

207. “Hair growing out every hole in me.”

— Frank Zappa

208. “If you really love guitar, you’re going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing.”

— Frank Zappa

209. “Moses, Aaron, Abraham, they’re all a waste of time. It’s your ass that’s on the line.”

— Frank Zappa

210. “I’m in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma.”

— Frank Zappa

211. “He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head.”

— Frank Zappa

212. “A composer’s job involves the decoration of fragments of time.”

— Frank Zappa

213. “My English teacher, he’s like, he’s like Mr. Bu-fu.”

— Frank Zappa

214. “I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.”

— Frank Zappa

215. “These girls wouldn’t let just anybody spew on their vital parts, they wanted a guy from a group with a big hit song on the charts.”

— Frank Zappa

216. “The poodle bites ; The poodle chews it.”

— Frank Zappa

217. “We was on our way to fame, got matching suits and Beatle boots.”

— Frank Zappa

218. “It’s two o’clock in the morning, they’re not going to get any nooky anyway, so this one guy and the guy with the t-shirt guy started sniffing the girls panties.”

— Frank Zappa

219. “America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians.”

— Frank Zappa

220. “Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands.”

— Frank Zappa

221. “Out on a 30 day tour, you got nothing, but groupies and promoters to love you.”

— Frank Zappa

222. “You don’t dig me, I don’t understand what it is, I had my car reupholstered.”

— Frank Zappa

223. “They’s making it worse, the labor movement got the mafia curse.”

— Frank Zappa

224. “I think love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America.”

— Frank Zappa

225. “Well, in this world of basic stereotyping, give a guy a big nose and some weird hair and he is capable of anything.”

— Frank Zappa

226. “It’s the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.”

— Frank Zappa

227. “The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on.”

— Frank Zappa

228. “Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago.”

— Frank Zappa

229. “Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure?”

— Frank Zappa

230. “Find her, blind her, see who designed her. Act like a dummy until you grind her.”

— Frank Zappa

231. “It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralise the long-range effects of our national stupidity.”

— Frank Zappa

232. “Yeah, I tell them to change the channel if they see some guy in a brown suit with a telephone number at the bottom of the screen asking for money.”

— Frank Zappa

233. “What something is depends more on when it is than anything else.”

— Frank Zappa

234. “Elvis has left the building to climb up that heavenly stair. So what if he looks like a wart-hog in heat?”

— Frank Zappa

235. “Find you a bridge and take a jump. Just make certain you do it right the first time, cause nothing’s worse than a suicide chump.”

— Frank Zappa

236. “You’re baloney without the mayo.”

— Frank Zappa

237. “I don’t want to see any religious people in public office because they’re working for another boss.”

— Frank Zappa

238. “Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.”

— Frank Zappa

239. “Socialism produces bad music, bad art, social stagnation and really unhappy people.”

— Frank Zappa

240. “Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut.”

— Frank Zappa

241. “What kind of man can name a child Moon Unit?”

— Frank Zappa

242. “I have four children, and I want them to grow up in a country that has a working First Amendment.”

— Frank Zappa

243. “On the Planet of Baritone women, they talk low.”

— Frank Zappa

244. “All the old history was written for the amusement of the ruling classes. The lower classes couldn’t read, and their rulers didn’t care about remembering what happened to them.”

— Frank Zappa

245. “Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe.”

— Frank Zappa

246. “They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there.”

— Frank Zappa

247. “Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music.”

— Frank Zappa

248. “There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it’s going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.”

— Frank Zappa

249. “Michael is Janet and Janet is Michael.”

— Frank Zappa

250. “After all, he wrote this book here, and in the book it says he made us all to be just like him! So if we’re dumb, then God is dumb – and maybe even a little ugly on the side.”

— Frank Zappa