Top 280 Frank Zappa Quotes (2025 Update)
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201. “Organized religions by their very natures are misleading.”

— Frank Zappa

202. “He wants to do you in cause the color of your skin.”

— Frank Zappa

203. “The whiskers sticking up from underneath his pancake makeup, and yet he was a beautiful lady.”

— Frank Zappa

204. “I write the music I like. If other people like it, fine, they can go buy the albums. And if they don’t like it, there’s always Michael Jackson for them to listen to.”

— Frank Zappa

205. “Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.”

— Frank Zappa

206. “I want a girl that can swallow my pride.”

— Frank Zappa

207. “In every language, the first word after “Mama!” that every kid learns to say is “Mine!” A system that doesn’t allow ownership, that doesn’t allow you to say “Mine!” when you grow up, has.”

— Frank Zappa

208. “They were wearing smelly blankets, they looked like Donovan fans.”

— Frank Zappa

209. “Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.”

— Frank Zappa

210. “Tighten my headband for an extra rush.”

— Frank Zappa

211. “In a fight between yourself and the world, always side with the world.”

— Frank Zappa

212. “Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary.”

— Frank Zappa

213. “The devil, he’s about this big. He had a red suit on and a widow’s peak, and then a pointed tail, and like a sulfur reek. Yes, it was him alright, I swear.”

— Frank Zappa

214. “You is what you am, a cow don’t make ham.”

— Frank Zappa

215. “Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.”

— Frank Zappa

216. “While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin’.”

— Frank Zappa

217. “Hair growing out every hole in me.”

— Frank Zappa

218. “Moses, Aaron, Abraham, they’re all a waste of time. It’s your ass that’s on the line.”

— Frank Zappa

219. “If you really love guitar, you’re going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing.”

— Frank Zappa

220. “I’m in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma.”

— Frank Zappa

221. “My English teacher, he’s like, he’s like Mr. Bu-fu.”

— Frank Zappa

222. “These girls wouldn’t let just anybody spew on their vital parts, they wanted a guy from a group with a big hit song on the charts.”

— Frank Zappa

223. “He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head.”

— Frank Zappa

224. “I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.”

— Frank Zappa

225. “The poodle bites ; The poodle chews it.”

— Frank Zappa

226. “We was on our way to fame, got matching suits and Beatle boots.”

— Frank Zappa

227. “It’s two o’clock in the morning, they’re not going to get any nooky anyway, so this one guy and the guy with the t-shirt guy started sniffing the girls panties.”

— Frank Zappa

228. “Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands.”

— Frank Zappa

229. “Out on a 30 day tour, you got nothing, but groupies and promoters to love you.”

— Frank Zappa

230. “They’s making it worse, the labor movement got the mafia curse.”

— Frank Zappa

231. “You don’t dig me, I don’t understand what it is, I had my car reupholstered.”

— Frank Zappa

232. “I think love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America.”

— Frank Zappa

233. “Well, in this world of basic stereotyping, give a guy a big nose and some weird hair and he is capable of anything.”

— Frank Zappa

234. “It’s the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.”

— Frank Zappa

235. “Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago.”

— Frank Zappa

236. “The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on.”

— Frank Zappa

237. “Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure?”

— Frank Zappa

238. “Yeah, I tell them to change the channel if they see some guy in a brown suit with a telephone number at the bottom of the screen asking for money.”

— Frank Zappa

239. “Find her, blind her, see who designed her. Act like a dummy until you grind her.”

— Frank Zappa

240. “What something is depends more on when it is than anything else.”

— Frank Zappa

241. “Elvis has left the building to climb up that heavenly stair. So what if he looks like a wart-hog in heat?”

— Frank Zappa

242. “You’re baloney without the mayo.”

— Frank Zappa

243. “Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut.”

— Frank Zappa

244. “Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.”

— Frank Zappa

245. “I have four children, and I want them to grow up in a country that has a working First Amendment.”

— Frank Zappa

246. “What kind of man can name a child Moon Unit?”

— Frank Zappa

247. “Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe.”

— Frank Zappa

248. “On the Planet of Baritone women, they talk low.”

— Frank Zappa

249. “All the old history was written for the amusement of the ruling classes. The lower classes couldn’t read, and their rulers didn’t care about remembering what happened to them.”

— Frank Zappa

250. “They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there.”

— Frank Zappa