Top 280 Frank Zappa Quotes (2024 Update)
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201. “In a fight between yourself and the world, always side with the world.”

— Frank Zappa

202. “The devil, he’s about this big. He had a red suit on and a widow’s peak, and then a pointed tail, and like a sulfur reek. Yes, it was him alright, I swear.”

— Frank Zappa

203. “Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.”

— Frank Zappa

204. “You is what you am, a cow don’t make ham.”

— Frank Zappa

205. “While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin’.”

— Frank Zappa

206. “Hair growing out every hole in me.”

— Frank Zappa

207. “Moses, Aaron, Abraham, they’re all a waste of time. It’s your ass that’s on the line.”

— Frank Zappa

208. “A composer’s job involves the decoration of fragments of time.”

— Frank Zappa

209. “My English teacher, he’s like, he’s like Mr. Bu-fu.”

— Frank Zappa

210. “I’m in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma.”

— Frank Zappa

211. “These girls wouldn’t let just anybody spew on their vital parts, they wanted a guy from a group with a big hit song on the charts.”

— Frank Zappa

212. “If you really love guitar, you’re going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing.”

— Frank Zappa

213. “He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head.”

— Frank Zappa

214. “I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.”

— Frank Zappa

215. “It’s two o’clock in the morning, they’re not going to get any nooky anyway, so this one guy and the guy with the t-shirt guy started sniffing the girls panties.”

— Frank Zappa

216. “You don’t dig me, I don’t understand what it is, I had my car reupholstered.”

— Frank Zappa

217. “Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands.”

— Frank Zappa

218. “Well, in this world of basic stereotyping, give a guy a big nose and some weird hair and he is capable of anything.”

— Frank Zappa

219. “The poodle bites ; The poodle chews it.”

— Frank Zappa

220. “We was on our way to fame, got matching suits and Beatle boots.”

— Frank Zappa

221. “I think love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America.”

— Frank Zappa

222. “Out on a 30 day tour, you got nothing, but groupies and promoters to love you.”

— Frank Zappa

223. “The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on.”

— Frank Zappa

224. “Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago.”

— Frank Zappa

225. “They’s making it worse, the labor movement got the mafia curse.”

— Frank Zappa

226. “It’s the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.”

— Frank Zappa

227. “Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure?”

— Frank Zappa

228. “America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians.”

— Frank Zappa

229. “Yeah, I tell them to change the channel if they see some guy in a brown suit with a telephone number at the bottom of the screen asking for money.”

— Frank Zappa

230. “It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralise the long-range effects of our national stupidity.”

— Frank Zappa

231. “What something is depends more on when it is than anything else.”

— Frank Zappa

232. “Find her, blind her, see who designed her. Act like a dummy until you grind her.”

— Frank Zappa

233. “Find you a bridge and take a jump. Just make certain you do it right the first time, cause nothing’s worse than a suicide chump.”

— Frank Zappa

234. “You’re baloney without the mayo.”

— Frank Zappa

235. “Elvis has left the building to climb up that heavenly stair. So what if he looks like a wart-hog in heat?”

— Frank Zappa

236. “Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut.”

— Frank Zappa

237. “Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.”

— Frank Zappa

238. “I don’t want to see any religious people in public office because they’re working for another boss.”

— Frank Zappa

239. “I have four children, and I want them to grow up in a country that has a working First Amendment.”

— Frank Zappa

240. “Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music.”

— Frank Zappa

241. “On the Planet of Baritone women, they talk low.”

— Frank Zappa

242. “All the old history was written for the amusement of the ruling classes. The lower classes couldn’t read, and their rulers didn’t care about remembering what happened to them.”

— Frank Zappa

243. “Socialism produces bad music, bad art, social stagnation and really unhappy people.”

— Frank Zappa

244. “What kind of man can name a child Moon Unit?”

— Frank Zappa

245. “After all, he wrote this book here, and in the book it says he made us all to be just like him! So if we’re dumb, then God is dumb – and maybe even a little ugly on the side.”

— Frank Zappa

246. “Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe.”

— Frank Zappa

247. “They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there.”

— Frank Zappa

248. “Michael is Janet and Janet is Michael.”

— Frank Zappa

249. “So much gets lost in the translation. Even if you sat there listening to it with a microscope, there’s no way you’re gonna find out what it means.”

— Frank Zappa

250. “Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet.”

— Frank Zappa