Top 280 Frank Zappa Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye.”

— Frank Zappa

152. “Weedly-weedly-wee, make a face, hold your guitar like it’s your weenie, point it heavenward, and look like you’re really doing something. Then, you get a big ovation while the smoke bombs go off, and the motorized lights in your truss twirl around.”

— Frank Zappa

153. “Catholic girls with tiny little mustaches.”

— Frank Zappa

154. “Sit and spin ’til you rot on the cosmic utensil.”

— Frank Zappa

155. “Am I a boy or a lady, I don’t know which?”

— Frank Zappa

156. “Hey ugly folks, go get some cyanide and die.”

— Frank Zappa

157. “I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone’s teeth get cleaner?”

— Frank Zappa

158. “One and one is eleven.”

— Frank Zappa

159. “The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.”

— Frank Zappa

160. “The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business.”

— Frank Zappa

161. “You can’t escape the puking sphinx.”

— Frank Zappa

162. “I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion.”

— Frank Zappa

163. “Roller-skates and disco are a lot of fun, I’m much too young and stupid to operate a gun.”

— Frank Zappa

164. “Two things are universal: Hydrogen and stupidity.”

— Frank Zappa

165. “I searched for years I found no love. I’m sure that love will never be a product of plasticity.”

— Frank Zappa

166. “I want a hairy little Jewish Princess with a brand new nose, who knows where it goes.”

— Frank Zappa

167. “Modern music is people who can’t think signing artists who can’t write songs to make records for people who can’t hear.”

— Frank Zappa

168. “If lyrics make people do things, how come we don’t love each other?”

— Frank Zappa

169. “I detest ‘love lyrics.’ I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on ’love lyrics.”

— Frank Zappa

170. “All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control.”

— Frank Zappa

171. “Brown shoes don’t make it.”

— Frank Zappa

172. “This here song might offend some, if it does it’s because your dumb.”

— Frank Zappa

173. “I’m not going to be Bill Clinton and say I never inhaled. I did inhale. I liked tobacco a lot better.”

— Frank Zappa

174. “Wowie zowie, love me do. Wowie zowie, and I’ll love you, too.”

— Frank Zappa

175. “A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.”

— Frank Zappa

176. “Science is moving closer to weaponry, and Art is moving closer to commercialism. And never the twain shall meet.”

— Frank Zappa

177. “Ever try to have a conversation with someone on drugs? It just doesn’t work...”

— Frank Zappa

178. “I think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else that has ever happened, and vice versa.”

— Frank Zappa

179. “Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.”

— Frank Zappa

180. “Music without the ebb and flow would be like “watching a film with only good guys in it”.”

— Frank Zappa

181. “Her head is full of bubbles, her nose is petite, she looks like she never gets nothing to eat.”

— Frank Zappa

182. “Well Mike, I’m abnormal.”

— Frank Zappa

183. “It’s a despicable thing to share your personal inner torment for money.”

— Frank Zappa

184. “The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people.”

— Frank Zappa

185. “Nothing I’ve ever written has been motivated by trying to impact or influence anybody.”

— Frank Zappa

186. “He wants to do you in cause the color of your skin.”

— Frank Zappa

187. “A mind is like a parachute. It works better when it’s open!”

— Frank Zappa

188. “There are three things that smell of fish. One of them is fish. The other two are growing on you!”

— Frank Zappa

189. “In your dreams you can see yourself as a prophet saving the world.”

— Frank Zappa

190. “The whiskers sticking up from underneath his pancake makeup, and yet he was a beautiful lady.”

— Frank Zappa

191. “Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph.”

— Frank Zappa

192. “Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.”

— Frank Zappa

193. “I write the music I like. If other people like it, fine, they can go buy the albums. And if they don’t like it, there’s always Michael Jackson for them to listen to.”

— Frank Zappa

194. “I want a girl that can swallow my pride.”

— Frank Zappa

195. “With a tongue like a cow, she could make you go wow.”

— Frank Zappa

196. “They were wearing smelly blankets, they looked like Donovan fans.”

— Frank Zappa

197. “Tighten my headband for an extra rush.”

— Frank Zappa

198. “Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.”

— Frank Zappa

199. “In every language, the first word after “Mama!” that every kid learns to say is “Mine!” A system that doesn’t allow ownership, that doesn’t allow you to say “Mine!” when you grow up, has.”

— Frank Zappa

200. “Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary.”

— Frank Zappa