Top 280 Frank Zappa Quotes (2025 Update)
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101. “I think you should leave it up to the parent, because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant.”

— Frank Zappa

102. “I want a horny little Jewish princess.”

— Frank Zappa

103. “Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous.”

— Frank Zappa

104. “Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants?”

— Frank Zappa

105. “Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they’re smart that amazes me. It’s baffling whenever you find someone who’s smart – incredible. Soon you’ll have zoos for such things.”

— Frank Zappa

106. “My guitar wants to kill your mama.”

— Frank Zappa

107. “Do your job and do it right, life’s a ball, TV tonight.”

— Frank Zappa

108. “There’s a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.”

— Frank Zappa

109. “Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty.”

— Frank Zappa

110. “Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it’s the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.”

— Frank Zappa

111. “Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them’s really right, cause neither of them care.”

— Frank Zappa

112. “She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato.”

— Frank Zappa

113. “Your mind is totally controlled, it has been stuffed into my mold. And you will do as you are told, until the rights to you are sold.”

— Frank Zappa

114. “Let’s not be too rough on our own ignorance, it’s what makes America great.”

— Frank Zappa

115. “Definition of rock journalism: People who can’t write, doing interviews with people who can’t think, in order to prepare articles for people who can’t read.”

— Frank Zappa

116. “I would say that today, dishonesty is the rule, and honesty the exception. It could be, statistically, that more people are honest than dishonest, but the few that really control things are not honest, and that tips the balance.”

— Frank Zappa

117. “I’m more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot.”

— Frank Zappa

118. “Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public.”

— Frank Zappa

119. “My school spirit is at an all time low, I’m losing my status at the school.”

— Frank Zappa

120. “The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.”

— Frank Zappa

121. “If you pick up a guitar and it says, ‘take me, I’m yours,’ then that’s the one for you.”

— Frank Zappa

122. “Give me the enchilada with the pickle sauce shoved up between the donkey’s ass.”

— Frank Zappa

123. “The kerosene record player is not a very efficient device.”

— Frank Zappa

124. “All that we got here is American made. It’s a little bit cheesy, but it’s nicely displayed.”

— Frank Zappa

125. “Mama stroked his dinger, Daddy got stinky finger.”

— Frank Zappa

126. “Most people wouldn’t know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.”

— Frank Zappa

127. “We could improve worldwide mental health if we acknowledged that parents can make you crazy.”

— Frank Zappa

128. “Children are naive-they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you’re asking for trouble.”

— Frank Zappa

129. “Don’t go to bed with any woman crazier than you are.”

— Frank Zappa

130. “I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don’t want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole.”

— Frank Zappa

131. “Am I a boy or a lady, I don’t know which?”

— Frank Zappa

132. “The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. You eat this apple, you’re going to be as smart as God. We can’t have that.”

— Frank Zappa

133. “It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner.”

— Frank Zappa

134. “Most people don’t bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom.”

— Frank Zappa

135. “Environmental laws were not passed to protect our air and water, they were passed to get votes.”

— Frank Zappa

136. “The NRA, with the fingers on the triggers when they kneel and pray.”

— Frank Zappa

137. “When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.”

— Frank Zappa

138. “Music is the best.”

— Frank Zappa

139. “Unbind your mind, there is no time.”

— Frank Zappa

140. “As far as rearing children goes, the basic idea I try to keep in mind is that a child is a person. Just because they happen to be a little shorter than you doesn’t mean they are dumber than you.”

— Frank Zappa

141. “Music is always a commentary on society.”

— Frank Zappa

142. “People are just waiting around to get certified.”

— Frank Zappa

143. “Stuff up the cracks, turn on the gas, I’m gonna take my life.”

— Frank Zappa

144. “Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport.”

— Frank Zappa

145. “Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.”

— Frank Zappa

146. “The closer you are, the brighter the flames in my heart.”

— Frank Zappa

147. “A mind is like a parachute. It works better when it’s open!”

— Frank Zappa

148. “Wisdom is not the domain of the Wiz.”

— Frank Zappa

149. “Tosses her head and flips her hair, she got a whole bunch of nothing in there.”

— Frank Zappa

150. “Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it.”

— Frank Zappa