Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2024 Update)
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451. “Adolescents were the most wretched humans of all.”

— James Patterson

452. “You aren’t dead,” she said. “No. You aren’t dead either,” said Iggy irritably. “How about just ‘hello’?”

— James Patterson

453. “Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?”

— James Patterson

454. “In this family, we always celebrate each other’s birthdays. I don’t care if you’re four or fourteen or forty and scattered around the world. We gotta stick by each other, okay? And meals- as long as you live under the same roof, you have at least one meal a day together. I don’t care if it’s a dreaded hot dog in front of the dastardly TV as long as you’re all there. -Maeve Bennett.”

— James Patterson

455. “What’s good for the goose is definitely good for the desperate housewife. Even if this never happened again.”

— James Patterson

456. “We’re headed for the South Pole!” Gazzy jumped over the low threshold into our room from the boys’ room next door. “And it’s, like, so far south that it’s the bottom of the whole world.”

— James Patterson

457. “Grades don’t make the man, the man makes the grade.”

— James Patterson

458. “I smiled, sipped deliciously at my drink, and made a new rule for myself: if life hands you a compliment, take it.”

— James Patterson

459. “Toxic pheromone pollution. How can we combat that?” Charles Groh and I looked at each other. This was it. We’d finally arrived at the hard part. What had to be done. “The first step,” I said, “would be removing the factors that are causing the environmental disturbance.” “Remove petroleum products?” said the president. “And cell phones?” said the secretary of state. I nodded at both of them, then looked out at the faces around the table and on the screens.”

— James Patterson

460. “A guy who hates his job isn’t going to be too charming at home.”

— James Patterson

461. “There’re no boys left is what you meant,” she continued bitterly, cocking her head. “No Dylan. No Fang. No more cute guys to obsess over you.” I pressed my lips together and stared at her. “What?” But Nudge was on a roll. “Poor, poor Max,” she said, finding some ancient cans of tuna and an old jar of hearts of palm. Who eats that? “How are you going to survive with no one to fight over your attention?”

— James Patterson

462. “A flow of heroically suppressed swear words ran through my brain.”

— James Patterson

463. “How do you know anything for sure? I thought. But i knew the answer to that already. You don’t.”

— James Patterson

464. “Basically, if you put a fence around New York City, you’d have the world’s biggest nontraveling circus.”

— James Patterson

465. “Are you fangalicious? -Jess, a random blogger I could never be as fangalicious as you’d want me to be.-Fang.”

— James Patterson

466. “The possibility of a woman pope was extraordinary, astounding, and if it happened, the consequences would be profound. Zachary.”

— James Patterson

467. “Do I open it? Do I open it? Of course I freaking open it!”

— James Patterson

468. “While God had not forsaken this place, He was clearly expecting us to hold up our end, as it appeared He was needed elsewhere.”

— James Patterson

469. “At that instant, I knew exactly what I wanted out of life: this. This feeling, this happiness, this embrace.”

— James Patterson

470. “Lawyer’s credo: Anyone can sue anyone for anything.”

— James Patterson

471. “What are you guys doing? If you anted me to take a shower, all you had to do was pay me ten bucks, like you usually do.”

— James Patterson

472. “When its true, when it’s right, love can give you the kind of joy that you can’t get from any other experience.”

— James Patterson

473. “On the other hand, even a big, ’80s love van was less noticeable than six flying kids and their talking dog. So there you go.”

— James Patterson

474. “No wonder i hadn’t written anything decent in ages- I couldn’t even figure out how to tell a boy that i loved him. That whenever i looked into his eyes, i felt like i was drowning and being saved, all at the same time. That if i had to choose between dying tomorrow or spending the rest of my life without him, i would seriously consider picking imminent death.”

— James Patterson

475. “Don’t mistake the edge of a rut for the horizon.”

— James Patterson

476. “Better paranoid then sorry.”

— James Patterson

477. “I stood there watching Phoebe arrange the pillows and the sheets. She isn’t thinking that I... I mean, she doesn’t think that she and I would... WHAT?”

— James Patterson

478. “Don’t live a life you don’t want to talk about.”

— James Patterson

479. “Gazzy sniffed the air. “That’s explosives. It smells like Christmas!” Okay, so we’ve had somewhat untraditional Christmases. With explosives.”

— James Patterson

480. “Hope attacking doubt. It seemed crazy.”

— James Patterson

481. “The next day I picked up my electric guitar and amp at a tag sale. Grandma Dotty loves tag sales, and somehow she managed to bargain with the guy who was selling them, until we paid just three dollars.”

— James Patterson

482. “For many years I had heard about an underworld consisting of people who act out a vampire fantasy while I was living in New York. Fortunately for me there are also several books on the phenomena.”

— James Patterson

483. “Okay, smartyboots, how about if you’re flying at eighteen thousand feet at, say, a hundred and forty miles an hour,” I said. “You’re facing a southwest wind of about seven knots. How long would it take you to fly from Philadelphia to Billings, Montana?” Omega frowned as he started to work the math. “Are you saying you know how to make that calculation?” the Director asked. “I’m saying I’m smart enough to know that I’ll get there when I get there!” I.”

— James Patterson

484. “Each person here, except me, was living out his worst nightmare, facing his biggest fear – even the dog. It was under a counter, staring horror-stricken at a bowl of generic dog food. I.”

— James Patterson

485. “Read a ton, write every day if you can, and don’t mimic another writer’s style. Find your own voice.”

— James Patterson

486. “Kami matamu, Iggy. Kau tak perlu melihat selama kau memiliki kami.”

— James Patterson

487. “What is a lie? It’s a distortion of reality, presented as reality. We say it’s a bad thing. We teach kids not to lie. We even put people in prison for lying. And yet there are lies all around us, and half the time we don’t even really try to disguise it.”

— James Patterson

488. “I loved laughing with him, loved that he could make me laugh.”

— James Patterson

489. “I had made a friend. My second one in fourteen years. I was on a roll.”

— James Patterson

490. “Get-out-of-the-house-NOW-because-he’s-calling-you-from-downstairs-and-has-a-chainsaw scared.”

— James Patterson

491. “It’s too bad the word miracle has been overused, because I swear it’s the only word that fit the feeling of holding my daughter in my arms. My heart swelled to the size of the world.”

— James Patterson

492. “Big Sale. Last Week.’ Last week? Why advertise? I already missed it. They’re just rubbing it in.”

— James Patterson

493. “A small, weak part that just wanted to be a little girl again, with a family that wasn’t sick and broken. But that sure wasn’t going to happen, was it?”

— James Patterson

494. “Time for bed.” I held my fist out. One by one, my flock stacked theirs on top, and then we headed up into the trees to sleep the sleep of the innocent. Well, okay, maybe not so innocent. But the sleep of the much less guilty than others, for sure.”

— James Patterson

495. “No, what’s the best way to catch a fish?” Angel asked again. Oh. “I don’t know?” I said warily. “Have someone throw it to you!” Angel laughed, I groaned, and, next to me, Total chuckled.”

— James Patterson

496. “But i missed nothing- because everything that truly mattered to me was either already gone or right here next to me in the museum holding my hand.”

— James Patterson

497. “I know you might not believe this, but slogging through a foreign European forest in the dead of night with an ex-Eraser, a talking dog, and two kids who depend on you for their lives – well, not as much fun as you’d think. But.”

— James Patterson

498. “Please don’t shut out love- it’s the best thing about life.”

— James Patterson

499. “The one thing in the world that can screw up a good education, derail career plans, and generally mess with your head: love.”

— James Patterson

500. “I’m pretty sure that if you looked up the word “nuts” in the dictionary, you’ll find my picture. Just another fun feature of my mutant-birdkid-freak package.”

— James Patterson