Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2024 Update)
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301. “Ari smiled. The sun was shining, the weather was great, he was eating ice cream, and all his dreams were about to come true.”

— James Patterson

302. “I vill now destroy the snickuh bahrs!”

— James Patterson

303. “That’d be just what I need: a rash of car thefts across America, committed by dedicated readers.”

— James Patterson

304. “What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and world destruction?”

— James Patterson

305. “Call me crazy, but there’s just something cheering about seeing huge raptors tear into Eraser flesh.”

— James Patterson

306. “I was always a good student, but I didn’t read that much until I was 18 and I was working my way through college.”

— James Patterson

307. “Here’s a freebie: Don’t play poker with a kid who can read minds.”

— James Patterson

308. “I don’t believe in lecturing people. It’s much more effective to present reading as a fun, rewarding pastime.”

— James Patterson

309. “Lots of women are gifting themselves with diamonds for their right hand.”

— James Patterson

310. “I knew how good love could be – I knew it was the best thing I’d ever done in my life – and yet here I was alone. I was taking chances with my life. I kept telling everybody that I was all right, but I wasn’t.”

— James Patterson

311. “Blood City III: The Massacre. I’d read the summary of it online, and frankly, it sounded like the directors had just decided to film my life.”

— James Patterson

312. “I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.”

— James Patterson

313. “I’m sure some of you get sent to your rooms sometimes by your parents. All I have to say is, the next time it happens and you’re lying there all mad thinking about how hard your life is, just picture me standing next to you, ready to smack you upside the head. When I get sent to my room, it’s in a freaking dungeon! With rats!”

— James Patterson

314. “The Gasman leaned over and examined the tangled pile of stereo guts spread out on the kitchen table. “It looks like a robot came in here and threw up,” he observed.”

— James Patterson

315. “Even needing to get to Angel, we couldn’t forget the basic necessity of eating.”

— James Patterson

316. “The next morning, Mom set two plates of scrambled eggs in front of me and Georgia and then sat down to watch us eat. She loves to watch us eat, which I totally don’t get. I mean, she works at a diner. She watches people eat all day long.”

— James Patterson

317. “I led the way toward the crowd, trying to look casual, like, Fly? Me? Nah.”

— James Patterson

318. “I have a number of writers I work with regularly. I write an outline for a book. The outlines are very specific about what each scene is supposed to accomplish.”

— James Patterson

319. “Uh, a honking big castle of evil in Germany?”

— James Patterson

320. “Max-I’m not going to die today.”

— James Patterson

321. “Please, I begged silently, please do not let my last moments on earth be me crammed into a tiny boat in the dark, surrounded by mechanical singing pirates.”

— James Patterson

322. “Sometimes I’m dramatic even to myself.”

— James Patterson

323. “Somehow all troubles and cares seemed to diminish when you were with the people you loved. Then.”

— James Patterson

324. “A vet! I started laughing weakly and had to sit on the edge of the tub. A vet. Wait till they found out how appropriate that was.”

— James Patterson

325. “A lot healthier than getting socked in the stomach. Especially if you had a big breakfast.”

— James Patterson

326. “Every other person in the world would have looked at it and thought, Max would hate this. It was girly. It was beautiful. It wasn’t made of titanium and black leather with spikes on it. But it seemed exactly right, in a weird, heart-fluttery kind of way. And I really loved it.”

— James Patterson

327. “There is truth in dreams, but especially in nightmares.”

— James Patterson

328. “I’m here to say that moonshine has nothing on love- and lust.”

— James Patterson

329. “Can you giggle while racing for your life and protecting a six-year-old? I can.”

— James Patterson

330. “People always come up to me and say, ‘you should do standup.’ It’s nice to discover things about yourself. That keeps everything lively and fun.”

— James Patterson

331. “Delusional. Like Donald Trump with a comb.”

— James Patterson

332. “Yes. I owed my life, Angel’s life, and my mother’s life to a mutant’s ability to create industrial-strength snot.”

— James Patterson

333. “Actually, I’d already briefed him, early this morning. Since we were up at six. Since, at six, the nurse had been overcome with the overwhelming compulsion to take Fang’s temperature right then.”

— James Patterson

334. “Memory is all I have now.”

— James Patterson

335. “Michelangelo didn’t show David triumphant, the way every other sculptor did. He showed David before he fought Goliath – when David believed he was doomed and went into battle anyway.”

— James Patterson

336. “If we had directions, it wouldn’t be life. It would be an assignment. Grunt work.”

— James Patterson

337. “Every once in a while, I’ll have a ‘Do you know who I am?’ moment, at least in my head. I hate that.”

— James Patterson

338. “If your going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.”

— James Patterson

339. “It means the third rail has seven hundred volts of direct current running through it. Touch it and you’re human popcorn.”

— James Patterson

340. “Time to die. -Evil Angel.”

— James Patterson

341. “Because today after all, is all we knew.”

— James Patterson

342. “Maybe he was a good a good whitecoat – like Jeb. And maybe the moon was made of cream cheese.”

— James Patterson

343. “Here’s something that might not occur to you: If a state trooper sees a weird, patchwork Toyota Echo hurtling down 1-95, and it looks like half of a small country is immigrating to the States in this one little car, you might get stopped.”

— James Patterson

344. “Just in case you thought elephants were all sweetness, I can attest to the fact that this one had the time of her life scaring the bejeezus out of those dudes.”

— James Patterson

345. “I’m in shape... Round’s a shape.”

— James Patterson

346. “Part 5 The Voice- Make that my voice.”

— James Patterson

347. “One good thing is that I’ve been following the priest’s orders to meditate on how I’ve hurt people. It’s helped me recognize that we can’t help but make mistakes, even when our intentions are good.”

— James Patterson

348. “She’s about as sweet as a flaming turd.”

— James Patterson

349. “It was all I could do to not give a mwa ha ha ha!”

— James Patterson

350. “There’s nothing more annoying than cold logic and reason when you’ve got a good fit going.”

— James Patterson