Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2025 Update)
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201. “Some kids get called ‘bundles of joy’ or ‘slices of heaven’ or ‘dreams come true.’ We got ‘the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.’ Doesn’t have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I’m oversensitive.”

— James Patterson

202. “Se Souvenir de Moi. Remember Me.”

— James Patterson

203. “I do 30 to 40 books a year, so it’s a fair amount of reading. Back and forth between nonfiction and fiction. I usually have three or four things that are open on my desk, on my bed, on audiobook in the car.”

— James Patterson

204. “Society prepares the crime; the criminal only commits it.”

— James Patterson

205. “When I wanted information, it was silent; when I didn’t want to hear from it, it got chatty. It was alost as irritating as Fang.”

— James Patterson

206. “I’m a freaking princess when it comes to other people’s feelings. Yo dogbreath, get your paws of the everglades. -Max.”

— James Patterson

207. “Murder can be made to look like suicide, and suicide can be made to look like Murder.”

— James Patterson

208. “And so now, under a Colorado sky so blue it hurt my eyes, we arrived at the terrible truth. You can plot your escape, you can ditch your life and your family, and you can race down a two-lane highway in a stolen car. But there are things you can never out run.”

— James Patterson

209. “It’s our job – as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles – to find books our kids are going to like.”

— James Patterson

210. “Honesty is always good, except when it’s better to lie.”

— James Patterson

211. “Now, like all the other schools I’ve ever attended, the hallways of Long Beach Middle School are plastered with all sorts of NO BULLYING posters. There’s only one problem: Bullies, it turns out, don’t read too much. I guess reading really isn’t a job requirement in the high-paying fields of name-calling, nose-punching, and atomic-wedgie-yanking.”

— James Patterson

212. “I am not a great prose stylist. I’m a storyteller. There are thousands of people who don’t like what I do. Fortunately, there are millions who do.”

— James Patterson

213. “If number two pencils are so popular, why are they still number two?”

— James Patterson

214. “When your own romantic life is falling apart, everyone else’s looks fabulous.”

— James Patterson

215. “Just for fun I flew in huge banking arcs, taking deep breaths, enjoying the feel of my newly weightless hair. The stylist had called it “wind tossed.” If only she knew.”

— James Patterson

216. “Ari felt like, Hellooo, I have wings! I turn into a wolf! Blending is out is out of the question!”

— James Patterson

217. “Excellent. They were flammable.”

— James Patterson

218. “How could you stop loving me?”

— James Patterson

219. “There are terrific models for success with reluctant readers, but many school systems and state governments need to set aside their ‘not invented here’ and ‘we have more important problems than education’ attitudes.”

— James Patterson

220. “I wanted an endless summer with you. But then darkness always comes doesn’t it? Just a fact of life, i guess.”

— James Patterson

221. “I learnt to love reading. And then I started scribbling stories, and I liked that even more.”

— James Patterson

222. “Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. I drink at it, but while I drink, I see the sandy bottom and detect how shallow it is. Its current slides away, but eternity remains. I would drink deeper, fish in the sky, whose bottom is pebbly with stars.”

— James Patterson

223. “Love between two people can last a long time if the people love themselves some, and are ready to give love to another person.”

— James Patterson

224. “How is San Francisco, Alex? Lovely city. Will you leave your heart there? Do you think it’s a good place to die?”

— James Patterson

225. “Love means never having to be apart.”

— James Patterson

226. “Part 1- In search of Hot Chocolate-Chip Cookies.”

— James Patterson

227. “They come in all shapes and sizes, all races and creeds and genders. That’s the scariest thing of all.”

— James Patterson

228. “Six Seconds should be Rick Mofina’s breakout thriller. It moves like a tornado.”

— James Patterson

229. “I’m very emotional. I do feel stuff, for better or worse.”

— James Patterson

230. “I was thirty-eight at the time. As the saying goes, if I’d known I was going to live that long, I would have taken better care of myself.”

— James Patterson

231. “And then as always, I saw the prayer coming at me. And, as always, Number 1 killed me! Set me on fire, cooked me to medium rare and then ate me! I really, really, really hope I haven’t just given away the ending of this story.”

— James Patterson

232. “There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.”

— James Patterson

233. “Louisiana, the state road maintenance forgot.”

— James Patterson

234. “You’re a Capricorn to the core. Organized, loves structure, not driven by impulse, a master of restraint.”

— James Patterson

235. “The Women’s Murder Club was assembled – but why?”

— James Patterson

236. “SITTING TIGHT? Holing up? Waiting for answers? Those are things I’m not good at. Planning a massive attack against mechanical geeky-like things when i was already furious and itching to kill something? Piece o’cake.”

— James Patterson

237. “Never underestimate the power of a good laugh.”

— James Patterson

238. “You know things have gone bad when military marches pass for pop music.”

— James Patterson

239. “Until now, I never noticed how much fantasy had to do with reality.”

— James Patterson

240. “The truth will set you free, its the little white lies that’ll save your ass.”

— James Patterson

241. “Galapagos tortoise,” she said. “I’m one hundred and seven years old.” “Huh. And you don’t look a day over a hundred and five,” I said.”

— James Patterson

242. “I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer.”

— James Patterson

243. “Fang was going to kill me. And after I was dead, he would kill me again.”

— James Patterson

244. “Witihin seconds the headhunter had lost control of his car and it squealed, sliding sideways right into several other cars. Cool!? said the Gasman.”

— James Patterson

245. “Oh no! Don’t drag us away from Antartica and take us to the playground of the rich and famous! Not that briar patch! -Max.”

— James Patterson

246. “Jeezum – humans were like eggshells.”

— James Patterson

247. “I stood my ground. “You evil scientist are all the same – evil. Count me out.” Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I’d already made a huge enemy. Dang, I’m good.”

— James Patterson

248. “Yesterday I asked my teacher, ‘How come I have to study English? I’m never going to England!’ ” Stevie still isn’t laughing, but.”

— James Patterson

249. “As I stare into the Border collie’s eyes, I think that maybe I should go inside and call the girls. Claire, Cindy, and Jill would be here almost before I hung up the phone. They would hold me, hug me, say all the right things. You’re special, Lindsay. Everybody loves you, Lindsay.”

— James Patterson

250. “Like we were just jagged puzzle pieces that made no sense alone but together we fit perfectly. That’s what life is supposed to be like for normal people right? You find that other piece that matches yours that completes yours. And you make the jags and the crevices fit, even if they don’t go in perfectly smooth, even if they require a few adjustments. You don’t demand perfection you make it work and appreciate the parts that fit instead of obsessing about the small angles that don’t.”

— James Patterson