Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2026 Update)
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201. “I looked around. As flock leader, everyone was expecting me to make a decision. Jeb’s presence here would bring uncertainty, chaos, probably danger. It would perk up my day.”

— James Patterson

202. “What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend with the most perfect stupid hair do? He DIDN’T delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me all alone. That’s what he did.”

— James Patterson

203. “Some kids get called ‘bundles of joy’ or ‘slices of heaven’ or ‘dreams come true.’ We got ‘the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.’ Doesn’t have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I’m oversensitive.”

— James Patterson

204. “Se Souvenir de Moi. Remember Me.”

— James Patterson

205. “What was premeditated murder if not calculated leverage?”

— James Patterson

206. “And so now, under a Colorado sky so blue it hurt my eyes, we arrived at the terrible truth. You can plot your escape, you can ditch your life and your family, and you can race down a two-lane highway in a stolen car. But there are things you can never out run.”

— James Patterson

207. “It’s our job – as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles – to find books our kids are going to like.”

— James Patterson

208. “Which means what?” I demanded. “That I’m nothing? That I’m not a person? That you can do anything you want to me and it’s okay? You’re so full of it! But you’re wrong. I know that I do matter. I am important. And you’re a pathetic, cold, pointless wastoid who’s going to grow old alone and die, then roast in limbo forever.”

— James Patterson

209. “Yes,” I said. “My name is seven-five-nine-nine-three-nine-ex-dash-one. Junior.”

— James Patterson

210. “I read some, and then visited with people involved in this curious, exciting and somewhat misunderstood sub-culture. I met with a fang maker, who offered to fit me for an exquisite pair.”

— James Patterson

211. “It is my time. The time of maximum ride...”

— James Patterson

212. “Three out of four voices inside my head say go for it.”

— James Patterson

213. “Okay, okay, okay. I understood that pushing the elevator button over and over again would not make the elevator appear sooner. But I couldn’t help myself.”

— James Patterson

214. “When I wanted information, it was silent; when I didn’t want to hear from it, it got chatty. It was alost as irritating as Fang.”

— James Patterson

215. “I do 30 to 40 books a year, so it’s a fair amount of reading. Back and forth between nonfiction and fiction. I usually have three or four things that are open on my desk, on my bed, on audiobook in the car.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Reading Quotes

216. “Love between two people can last a long time if the people love themselves some, and are ready to give love to another person.”

— James Patterson

217. “If number two pencils are so popular, why are they still number two?”

— James Patterson

218. “Honesty is always good, except when it’s better to lie.”

— James Patterson

219. “Now, like all the other schools I’ve ever attended, the hallways of Long Beach Middle School are plastered with all sorts of NO BULLYING posters. There’s only one problem: Bullies, it turns out, don’t read too much. I guess reading really isn’t a job requirement in the high-paying fields of name-calling, nose-punching, and atomic-wedgie-yanking.”

— James Patterson

220. “I am not a great prose stylist. I’m a storyteller. There are thousands of people who don’t like what I do. Fortunately, there are millions who do.”

— James Patterson

221. “How could you stop loving me?”

— James Patterson

222. “There are terrific models for success with reluctant readers, but many school systems and state governments need to set aside their ‘not invented here’ and ‘we have more important problems than education’ attitudes.”

— James Patterson

223. “Grades don’t make the man, the man makes the grade.”

— James Patterson

224. “I’m a freaking princess when it comes to other people’s feelings. Yo dogbreath, get your paws of the everglades. -Max.”

— James Patterson

225. “Love means never having to be apart.”

— James Patterson

226. “Part 1- In search of Hot Chocolate-Chip Cookies.”

— James Patterson

227. “How is San Francisco, Alex? Lovely city. Will you leave your heart there? Do you think it’s a good place to die?”

— James Patterson

228. “Harden your heart.”

— James Patterson

229. “Just for fun I flew in huge banking arcs, taking deep breaths, enjoying the feel of my newly weightless hair. The stylist had called it “wind tossed.” If only she knew.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Fun Quotes

230. “I wanted an endless summer with you. But then darkness always comes doesn’t it? Just a fact of life, i guess.”

— James Patterson

231. “Ari felt like, Hellooo, I have wings! I turn into a wolf! Blending is out is out of the question!”

— James Patterson

232. “When your own romantic life is falling apart, everyone else’s looks fabulous.”

— James Patterson

233. “I learnt to love reading. And then I started scribbling stories, and I liked that even more.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Reading Quotes, Quotes About Stories

234. “Excellent. They were flammable.”

— James Patterson

235. “Six Seconds should be Rick Mofina’s breakout thriller. It moves like a tornado.”

— James Patterson

236. “Never underestimate the power of a good laugh.”

— James Patterson

237. “They come in all shapes and sizes, all races and creeds and genders. That’s the scariest thing of all.”

— James Patterson

238. “The Women’s Murder Club was assembled – but why?”

— James Patterson

239. “The truth will set you free, its the little white lies that’ll save your ass.”

— James Patterson

240. “There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.”

— James Patterson

241. “Until now, I never noticed how much fantasy had to do with reality.”

— James Patterson

242. “I was thirty-eight at the time. As the saying goes, if I’d known I was going to live that long, I would have taken better care of myself.”

— James Patterson

243. “And then as always, I saw the prayer coming at me. And, as always, Number 1 killed me! Set me on fire, cooked me to medium rare and then ate me! I really, really, really hope I haven’t just given away the ending of this story.”

— James Patterson

244. “SITTING TIGHT? Holing up? Waiting for answers? Those are things I’m not good at. Planning a massive attack against mechanical geeky-like things when i was already furious and itching to kill something? Piece o’cake.”

— James Patterson

245. “You’re a Capricorn to the core. Organized, loves structure, not driven by impulse, a master of restraint.”

— James Patterson

246. “I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer.”

— James Patterson

247. “Galapagos tortoise,” she said. “I’m one hundred and seven years old.” “Huh. And you don’t look a day over a hundred and five,” I said.”

— James Patterson

248. “If your going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.”

— James Patterson

249. “Louisiana, the state road maintenance forgot.”

— James Patterson

250. “You know things have gone bad when military marches pass for pop music.”

— James Patterson