Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2025 Update)
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251. “You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.”

— James Patterson

252. “You know, when you’re right, that’s all you get to be.”

— James Patterson

253. “Angel: What’s sauerkraut? Max: You don’t want it. Trust me.”

— James Patterson

254. “He felt nervous and excited an happy and kind of filled with dread, all at the same time. It was the most emotion he’d never experienced...”

— James Patterson

255. “You’re a fridge with wings. We’re freaking ballet dancers! -Fang.”

— James Patterson

256. “I have a folder in my office with about 400 ideas in it. So it will take me another 40 years to get through those.”

— James Patterson

257. “I knew that she was a psychopath, just like Gary. No conscience. I believed that business, the government, Wall Street were filled with people like that. No regret for their actions. Not unless they got caught. Then the crocodile tears started. “What.”

— James Patterson

258. “Tears were dripping onto my dress, but I wasn’t making any sound. There was no sound to express thid kind of pain. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to do anything. Fang was not waiting for me out in the living room. Tomorrow morning, when I woke up, Fang would still be gone.”

— James Patterson

259. “Other than my hundreds of arrests I really don’t have that much experience with the law. While the majority of people aren’t corrupt, there certainly is an awful lot of corruption in this country.”

— James Patterson

260. “Let’s just say that if these scientist had been using their brilliance for good instead of evil, cars would run off water vapor and leave fresh compost behind them; no one would be hungry; no one would be ill; all buildings would be earthquake-, bomb-, and flood-proof; and the world’s entire economy would have collapsed and been replaced by one based on the value of chocolate.”

— James Patterson

261. “Max-Dogs, dogs, go away, let me live another day.”

— James Patterson

262. “Fang looked at me, hope in his eyes, and I smirked at him. I save the huge emotional kissy-face for imminent death scenes. This probably didn’t qualify.”

— James Patterson

263. “Hollywood is a peculiar beast – people in Hollywood are nuts.”

— James Patterson

264. “Ray Bradbury had once written that “living at risk is jumping off a cliff, and building your wings on the way down.” Sampson.”

— James Patterson

265. “I love to tell stories. It’s a delight for me.”

— James Patterson

266. “Excuse me? I’m alive too.”

— James Patterson

267. “You love him so much it feels like you can’t go on without him. You feel like you might die without him.”

— James Patterson

268. “The subject for a lot of non-fiction is very emotional, but if you read it, it’s the most boring, dry stuff. I wanted ‘Torn Apart’ to be extremely accessible and readable.”

— James Patterson

269. “I was crazily, deeply, incredibly, joyously, terrifiedly in love.”

— James Patterson

270. “Have you ever done something extremely stupid like, oh, I don’t know, try to make a room filled with total strangers laugh until their sides hurt? Totally.”

— James Patterson

271. “Our parents were a test tube and a turkey baster.”

— James Patterson

272. “It wasn’t because the lions were particularly hungry. The humans had been nothing compared to the eighteen-hundred-pound Cape buffalo, the pride’s more typical prey. The cars had been like boxes full of snacks.”

— James Patterson

273. “Harden your heart.”

— James Patterson

274. “The hamster called. He wants his home back.”

— James Patterson

275. “Why did Piglet, Eeyore, and Christopher Robin stick their heads down the toilet? Easy. They were looking for Pooh.”

— James Patterson

276. “Can I come in? No! I’m in a towel! I’m blind!”

— James Patterson

277. “Gazzy called over to me “I can’t see anything!” “I can’t see anything either,” Iggy complained. “I’m rolling my eyes, Ig.” I had to tell him that because he couldn’t see me do it, what with his blindness and all.”

— James Patterson

278. “Sheep!” Angel cried, catching sight of some fluffy brown wool. “Anne is quite the animal lover,” Fang said to me as we followed Angel. “Horses, sheep, goats. Chickens. Pigs.” “Yeah,” I said. “I wonder who’s for dinner?” He flashed one of his rare smiles at me, and it was like the sun coming out. I felt my cheeks get hot and strode on ahead.”

— James Patterson

279. “Fang looked at the newest bird kid. Dylan was an inch or two taller than he was, and somewhat heavier built, though he still had the long, lean look of a human-avian hybrid-you couldn’t make bricks fly.”

— James Patterson

280. “Sometimes he seems like a droid – or a drone. Fang of Nine. Fang2-D2.”

— James Patterson

281. “He gives my hand a tight squeeze, but that desperation, that urgency between us is gone. No insecurities. Max and Fang. Fang and Max. No longer a question. We just are.”

— James Patterson

282. “At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.”

— James Patterson

283. “I did know that the book would end with a mind-boggling trial, but I didn’t know exactly how it would turn out. I like a little suspense when I am writing, too.”

— James Patterson

284. “I remembered something my first partner had told me. Never wrestle with a pig, Lindsay. You both get dirty. The pig likes it.”

— James Patterson

285. “Did I want a dog? No. Did I need a dog? Also no. We were six kids running for our lives, not knowing where our next meal was coming from. Could we afford to feed a dog? Wait for it – no.”

— James Patterson

286. “I’m pretty sure dodgeball was invented by some gym teacher who hated kids and just wanted an excuse to throw things at them.”

— James Patterson

287. “What kind of thoughtless creep would burn a book?”

— James Patterson

288. “Knowledge truly is power, it’s everything; if you don’t have any, pretend you do.”

— James Patterson

289. “He was already a sociopath, and he was just out of kinder-garten. I didn’t think much of it at the time. It was the family way.”

— James Patterson

290. “Little books can mean big things, baby books are things that you probably might not know.”

— James Patterson

291. “These are the cafeteria ladies. I call them Millie, Billie, and Tilly. I think they’re part of a government program to get rid of the middle school population in this country, one lunch at a time.”

— James Patterson

292. “I’ll just ask now: What is it about my persona that draws every insane, power-hungry nutcase to me like a magnet?”

— James Patterson

293. “She didn’t flirt with him, but they hung out together a lot, and every time I saw their heads bent over a computer screen or map, it made my stomach clench. And my teeth. And my fists.”

— James Patterson

294. “If you’re going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. Things are almost never as bad as they first seem. Loosen up, girlfriend!”

— James Patterson

295. “Okeydokey,” I said to myself. “Provisions, check. Clothes, check. Enough explosives to pose a legitimate threat to multiple small countries-“ I eyed the duffel bags that Gazzy and Iggy had packed- “check.”

— James Patterson

296. “Maybe you’ll learn something about life beyond Batman.”

— James Patterson

297. “However, using insidious and irresistible mind-control techniques such as offering us Mountain Dew and a ton of nachos, the naval bigwigs had managed to corral us in this room for a debriefing.”

— James Patterson

298. “I’m sure some of you get sent to your rooms sometimes by your parents. All I have to say is, the next time it happens and you’re lying there all mad thinking about how hard your life is, just picture me standing next to you, ready to smack you upside the head. When I get sent to my room, it’s in a freaking dungeon! With rats!”

— James Patterson

299. “What, eBay isn’t good enough for us?”

— James Patterson

300. “It was the building from the drawing in my brain. And if you don’t think that’s a weird sentence, maybe you should reread it.”

— James Patterson