Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2025 Update)
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251. “Fang was going to kill me. And after I was dead, he would kill me again.”

— James Patterson

252. “Max-Dogs, dogs, go away, let me live another day.”

— James Patterson

253. “You love him so much it feels like you can’t go on without him. You feel like you might die without him.”

— James Patterson

254. “As I stare into the Border collie’s eyes, I think that maybe I should go inside and call the girls. Claire, Cindy, and Jill would be here almost before I hung up the phone. They would hold me, hug me, say all the right things. You’re special, Lindsay. Everybody loves you, Lindsay.”

— James Patterson

255. “You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.”

— James Patterson

256. “Jeezum – humans were like eggshells.”

— James Patterson

257. “Like we were just jagged puzzle pieces that made no sense alone but together we fit perfectly. That’s what life is supposed to be like for normal people right? You find that other piece that matches yours that completes yours. And you make the jags and the crevices fit, even if they don’t go in perfectly smooth, even if they require a few adjustments. You don’t demand perfection you make it work and appreciate the parts that fit instead of obsessing about the small angles that don’t.”

— James Patterson

258. “Witihin seconds the headhunter had lost control of his car and it squealed, sliding sideways right into several other cars. Cool!? said the Gasman.”

— James Patterson

259. “Yesterday I asked my teacher, ‘How come I have to study English? I’m never going to England!’ ” Stevie still isn’t laughing, but.”

— James Patterson

260. “Our parents were a test tube and a turkey baster.”

— James Patterson

261. “If your going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.”

— James Patterson

262. “I have a folder in my office with about 400 ideas in it. So it will take me another 40 years to get through those.”

— James Patterson

263. “Ray Bradbury had once written that “living at risk is jumping off a cliff, and building your wings on the way down.” Sampson.”

— James Patterson

264. “Fang looked at me, hope in his eyes, and I smirked at him. I save the huge emotional kissy-face for imminent death scenes. This probably didn’t qualify.”

— James Patterson

265. “Other than my hundreds of arrests I really don’t have that much experience with the law. While the majority of people aren’t corrupt, there certainly is an awful lot of corruption in this country.”

— James Patterson

266. “The subject for a lot of non-fiction is very emotional, but if you read it, it’s the most boring, dry stuff. I wanted ‘Torn Apart’ to be extremely accessible and readable.”

— James Patterson

267. “I was crazily, deeply, incredibly, joyously, terrifiedly in love.”

— James Patterson

268. “Excuse me? I’m alive too.”

— James Patterson

269. “Hollywood is a peculiar beast – people in Hollywood are nuts.”

— James Patterson

270. “Let’s just say that if these scientist had been using their brilliance for good instead of evil, cars would run off water vapor and leave fresh compost behind them; no one would be hungry; no one would be ill; all buildings would be earthquake-, bomb-, and flood-proof; and the world’s entire economy would have collapsed and been replaced by one based on the value of chocolate.”

— James Patterson

271. “Have you ever done something extremely stupid like, oh, I don’t know, try to make a room filled with total strangers laugh until their sides hurt? Totally.”

— James Patterson

272. “You’re a fridge with wings. We’re freaking ballet dancers! -Fang.”

— James Patterson

273. “I love to tell stories. It’s a delight for me.”

— James Patterson

274. “You know, when you’re right, that’s all you get to be.”

— James Patterson

275. “Angel: What’s sauerkraut? Max: You don’t want it. Trust me.”

— James Patterson

276. “I’m pretty sure dodgeball was invented by some gym teacher who hated kids and just wanted an excuse to throw things at them.”

— James Patterson

277. “Tears were dripping onto my dress, but I wasn’t making any sound. There was no sound to express thid kind of pain. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to do anything. Fang was not waiting for me out in the living room. Tomorrow morning, when I woke up, Fang would still be gone.”

— James Patterson

278. “I knew that she was a psychopath, just like Gary. No conscience. I believed that business, the government, Wall Street were filled with people like that. No regret for their actions. Not unless they got caught. Then the crocodile tears started. “What.”

— James Patterson

279. “At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.”

— James Patterson

280. “Can I come in? No! I’m in a towel! I’m blind!”

— James Patterson

281. “Fang looked at the newest bird kid. Dylan was an inch or two taller than he was, and somewhat heavier built, though he still had the long, lean look of a human-avian hybrid-you couldn’t make bricks fly.”

— James Patterson

282. “I did know that the book would end with a mind-boggling trial, but I didn’t know exactly how it would turn out. I like a little suspense when I am writing, too.”

— James Patterson

283. “The hamster called. He wants his home back.”

— James Patterson

284. “It wasn’t because the lions were particularly hungry. The humans had been nothing compared to the eighteen-hundred-pound Cape buffalo, the pride’s more typical prey. The cars had been like boxes full of snacks.”

— James Patterson

285. “Did I want a dog? No. Did I need a dog? Also no. We were six kids running for our lives, not knowing where our next meal was coming from. Could we afford to feed a dog? Wait for it – no.”

— James Patterson

286. “Why did Piglet, Eeyore, and Christopher Robin stick their heads down the toilet? Easy. They were looking for Pooh.”

— James Patterson

287. “Knowledge truly is power, it’s everything; if you don’t have any, pretend you do.”

— James Patterson

288. “Sometimes he seems like a droid – or a drone. Fang of Nine. Fang2-D2.”

— James Patterson

289. “He gives my hand a tight squeeze, but that desperation, that urgency between us is gone. No insecurities. Max and Fang. Fang and Max. No longer a question. We just are.”

— James Patterson

290. “Gazzy called over to me “I can’t see anything!” “I can’t see anything either,” Iggy complained. “I’m rolling my eyes, Ig.” I had to tell him that because he couldn’t see me do it, what with his blindness and all.”

— James Patterson

291. “Sheep!” Angel cried, catching sight of some fluffy brown wool. “Anne is quite the animal lover,” Fang said to me as we followed Angel. “Horses, sheep, goats. Chickens. Pigs.” “Yeah,” I said. “I wonder who’s for dinner?” He flashed one of his rare smiles at me, and it was like the sun coming out. I felt my cheeks get hot and strode on ahead.”

— James Patterson

292. “I remembered something my first partner had told me. Never wrestle with a pig, Lindsay. You both get dirty. The pig likes it.”

— James Patterson

293. “Fair isn’t fair, Dean. Like I’m supposed to help you because fair is fair? Try I need you to help me so I wont rip out your spine and beat you with it. I might respond to that, maybe.”

— James Patterson

294. “However, using insidious and irresistible mind-control techniques such as offering us Mountain Dew and a ton of nachos, the naval bigwigs had managed to corral us in this room for a debriefing.”

— James Patterson

295. “If you’re going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. Things are almost never as bad as they first seem. Loosen up, girlfriend!”

— James Patterson

296. “Little books can mean big things, baby books are things that you probably might not know.”

— James Patterson

297. “What kind of thoughtless creep would burn a book?”

— James Patterson

298. “She didn’t flirt with him, but they hung out together a lot, and every time I saw their heads bent over a computer screen or map, it made my stomach clench. And my teeth. And my fists.”

— James Patterson

299. “Maybe you’ll learn something about life beyond Batman.”

— James Patterson

300. “I’ll just ask now: What is it about my persona that draws every insane, power-hungry nutcase to me like a magnet?”

— James Patterson