Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2022 Update)
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251. “Uh, a honking big castle of evil in Germany?”

— James Patterson

252. “Excuse me? I’m alive too.”

— James Patterson

253. “Never underestimate the power of a good laugh.”

— James Patterson

254. “Now, like all the other schools I’ve ever attended, the hallways of Long Beach Middle School are plastered with all sorts of NO BULLYING posters. There’s only one problem: Bullies, it turns out, don’t read too much. I guess reading really isn’t a job requirement in the high-paying fields of name-calling, nose-punching, and atomic-wedgie-yanking.”

— James Patterson

255. “Love means never having to be apart.”

— James Patterson

256. “A lot healthier than getting socked in the stomach. Especially if you had a big breakfast.”

— James Patterson

257. “I won’t lie to you – it was hilarious. Yes, we were in trouble, yes, this was a disaster, and so one and so forth, but I have to say, seeing those upturned faces, the looks, was bout the best thing that happened to us since we’d come to New York.”

— James Patterson

258. “Like we were just jagged puzzle pieces that made no sense alone but together we fit perfectly. That’s what life is supposed to be like for normal people right? You find that other piece that matches yours that completes yours. And you make the jags and the crevices fit, even if they don’t go in perfectly smooth, even if they require a few adjustments. You don’t demand perfection you make it work and appreciate the parts that fit instead of obsessing about the small angles that don’t.”

— James Patterson

259. “I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer.”

— James Patterson

260. “Fair isn’t fair, Dean. Like I’m supposed to help you because fair is fair? Try I need you to help me so I wont rip out your spine and beat you with it. I might respond to that, maybe.”

— James Patterson

261. “It is my time. The time of maximum ride...”

— James Patterson

262. “A good love story always keeps the pot boiling.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Quotes About Stories

263. “Little books can mean big things, baby books are things that you probably might not know.”

— James Patterson

264. “However, using insidious and irresistible mind-control techniques such as offering us Mountain Dew and a ton of nachos, the naval bigwigs had managed to corral us in this room for a debriefing.”

— James Patterson

265. “Gazzy called over to me “I can’t see anything!” “I can’t see anything either,” Iggy complained. “I’m rolling my eyes, Ig.” I had to tell him that because he couldn’t see me do it, what with his blindness and all.”

— James Patterson

266. “Oh no! Don’t drag us away from Antartica and take us to the playground of the rich and famous! Not that briar patch! -Max.”

— James Patterson

267. “Fang: When do I get out of here? Max: They say a week. Fang: So, like, tomorrow? Max: That’s what I’m thinking.”

— James Patterson

268. “Call me crazy, but there’s just something cheering about seeing huge raptors tear into Eraser flesh.”

— James Patterson

269. “I have a number of writers I work with regularly. I write an outline for a book. The outlines are very specific about what each scene is supposed to accomplish.”

— James Patterson

270. “Three out of four voices inside my head say go for it.”

— James Patterson

271. “I was always a good student, but I didn’t read that much until I was 18 and I was working my way through college.”

— James Patterson

272. “Here’s a freebie: Don’t play poker with a kid who can read minds.”

— James Patterson

273. “I was crazily, deeply, incredibly, joyously, terrifiedly in love.”

— James Patterson

274. “Anger, hatred, and bitterness are lethal poisons. They cause a slow, painful emotional death that only you suffer. Self-destruction will never defeat an enemy or create justice.”

— James Patterson

275. “Until now, I never noticed how much fantasy had to do with reality.”

— James Patterson

276. “One good thing is that I’ve been following the priest’s orders to meditate on how I’ve hurt people. It’s helped me recognize that we can’t help but make mistakes, even when our intentions are good.”

— James Patterson

277. “The truth will set you free, its the little white lies that’ll save your ass.”

— James Patterson

278. “Angel: What’s sauerkraut? Max: You don’t want it. Trust me.”

— James Patterson

279. “People always come up to me and say, ‘you should do standup.’ It’s nice to discover things about yourself. That keeps everything lively and fun.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Fun Quotes

280. “There’s nothing more annoying than cold logic and reason when you’ve got a good fit going.”

— James Patterson

281. “Michelangelo didn’t show David triumphant, the way every other sculptor did. He showed David before he fought Goliath – when David believed he was doomed and went into battle anyway.”

— James Patterson

282. “I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.”

— James Patterson

283. “The more you read, the better you get at it.”

— James Patterson

284. “These are the cafeteria ladies. I call them Millie, Billie, and Tilly. I think they’re part of a government program to get rid of the middle school population in this country, one lunch at a time.”

— James Patterson

285. “Fang looked at me, hope in his eyes, and I smirked at him. I save the huge emotional kissy-face for imminent death scenes. This probably didn’t qualify.”

— James Patterson

286. “I led the way toward the crowd, trying to look casual, like, Fly? Me? Nah.”

— James Patterson

287. “There’s always be a me and you.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Romance Quotes

288. “And so now, under a Colorado sky so blue it hurt my eyes, we arrived at the terrible truth. You can plot your escape, you can ditch your life and your family, and you can race down a two-lane highway in a stolen car. But there are things you can never out run.”

— James Patterson

289. “Please, I begged silently, please do not let my last moments on earth be me crammed into a tiny boat in the dark, surrounded by mechanical singing pirates.”

— James Patterson

290. “A vet! I started laughing weakly and had to sit on the edge of the tub. A vet. Wait till they found out how appropriate that was.”

— James Patterson

291. “You know things have gone bad when military marches pass for pop music.”

— James Patterson

292. “I knew how good love could be – I knew it was the best thing I’d ever done in my life – and yet here I was alone. I was taking chances with my life. I kept telling everybody that I was all right, but I wasn’t.”

— James Patterson

293. “I’m here to say that moonshine has nothing on love- and lust.”

— James Patterson

294. “Lots of women are gifting themselves with diamonds for their right hand.”

— James Patterson

295. “Can you giggle while racing for your life and protecting a six-year-old? I can.”

— James Patterson

296. “Our parents were a test tube and a turkey baster.”

— James Patterson

297. “What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend with the most perfect stupid hair do? He DIDN’T delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me all alone. That’s what he did.”

— James Patterson

298. “Knowledge truly is power, it’s everything; if you don’t have any, pretend you do.”

— James Patterson

299. “It wasn’t because the lions were particularly hungry. The humans had been nothing compared to the eighteen-hundred-pound Cape buffalo, the pride’s more typical prey. The cars had been like boxes full of snacks.”

— James Patterson

300. “Normal behavior, therefore, is when we collectively believe that the circumstances justify the behavior. Likewise, abnormal behavior is when we don’t.”

— James Patterson