Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2023 Update)
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251. “What, eBay isn’t good enough for us?”

— James Patterson

252. “It was the building from the drawing in my brain. And if you don’t think that’s a weird sentence, maybe you should reread it.”

— James Patterson

253. “Other than my hundreds of arrests I really don’t have that much experience with the law. While the majority of people aren’t corrupt, there certainly is an awful lot of corruption in this country.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Country Quotes

254. “Ari smiled. The sun was shining, the weather was great, he was eating ice cream, and all his dreams were about to come true.”

— James Patterson

255. “There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.”

— James Patterson

256. “She didn’t flirt with him, but they hung out together a lot, and every time I saw their heads bent over a computer screen or map, it made my stomach clench. And my teeth. And my fists.”

— James Patterson

257. “I vill now destroy the snickuh bahrs!”

— James Patterson

258. “That’d be just what I need: a rash of car thefts across America, committed by dedicated readers.”

— James Patterson

259. “Murder can be made to look like suicide, and suicide can be made to look like Murder.”

— James Patterson

260. “If you’re going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. Things are almost never as bad as they first seem. Loosen up, girlfriend!”

— James Patterson

261. “What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and world destruction?”

— James Patterson

262. “I stood my ground. “You evil scientist are all the same – evil. Count me out.” Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I’d already made a huge enemy. Dang, I’m good.”

— James Patterson

263. “Excuse me? I’m alive too.”

— James Patterson

264. “The subject for a lot of non-fiction is very emotional, but if you read it, it’s the most boring, dry stuff. I wanted ‘Torn Apart’ to be extremely accessible and readable.”

— James Patterson

265. “Now, like all the other schools I’ve ever attended, the hallways of Long Beach Middle School are plastered with all sorts of NO BULLYING posters. There’s only one problem: Bullies, it turns out, don’t read too much. I guess reading really isn’t a job requirement in the high-paying fields of name-calling, nose-punching, and atomic-wedgie-yanking.”

— James Patterson

266. “Anger, hatred, and bitterness are lethal poisons. They cause a slow, painful emotional death that only you suffer. Self-destruction will never defeat an enemy or create justice.”

— James Patterson

267. “You know things have gone bad when military marches pass for pop music.”

— James Patterson

268. “My style is colloquial storytelling. It’s the way we tell stories to one another – it’s not writerly, it’s not overdone.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Quotes About Stories

269. “Maybe you’ll learn something about life beyond Batman.”

— James Patterson

270. “The truth will set you free, its the little white lies that’ll save your ass.”

— James Patterson

271. “Galapagos tortoise,” she said. “I’m one hundred and seven years old.” “Huh. And you don’t look a day over a hundred and five,” I said.”

— James Patterson

272. “Blood City III: The Massacre. I’d read the summary of it online, and frankly, it sounded like the directors had just decided to film my life.”

— James Patterson

273. “He was already a sociopath, and he was just out of kinder-garten. I didn’t think much of it at the time. It was the family way.”

— James Patterson

274. “However, using insidious and irresistible mind-control techniques such as offering us Mountain Dew and a ton of nachos, the naval bigwigs had managed to corral us in this room for a debriefing.”

— James Patterson

275. “Fang looked at the newest bird kid. Dylan was an inch or two taller than he was, and somewhat heavier built, though he still had the long, lean look of a human-avian hybrid-you couldn’t make bricks fly.”

— James Patterson

276. “Even needing to get to Angel, we couldn’t forget the basic necessity of eating.”

— James Patterson

277. “Fang. I had to do some thinking about him. Me. I had some thinking to do about me too.”

— James Patterson

278. “And then as always, I saw the prayer coming at me. And, as always, Number 1 killed me! Set me on fire, cooked me to medium rare and then ate me! I really, really, really hope I haven’t just given away the ending of this story.”

— James Patterson

279. “I have a number of writers I work with regularly. I write an outline for a book. The outlines are very specific about what each scene is supposed to accomplish.”

— James Patterson

280. “I was always a good student, but I didn’t read that much until I was 18 and I was working my way through college.”

— James Patterson

281. “Here’s a freebie: Don’t play poker with a kid who can read minds.”

— James Patterson

282. “I’m pretty sure dodgeball was invented by some gym teacher who hated kids and just wanted an excuse to throw things at them.”

— James Patterson

283. “Fair isn’t fair, Dean. Like I’m supposed to help you because fair is fair? Try I need you to help me so I wont rip out your spine and beat you with it. I might respond to that, maybe.”

— James Patterson

284. “If life were a movie, we’d have had what they call a “meet cute”.”

— James Patterson

285. “Knowledge truly is power, it’s everything; if you don’t have any, pretend you do.”

— James Patterson

286. “I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.”

— James Patterson

287. “I have a folder in my office with about 400 ideas in it. So it will take me another 40 years to get through those.”

— James Patterson

288. “These are the cafeteria ladies. I call them Millie, Billie, and Tilly. I think they’re part of a government program to get rid of the middle school population in this country, one lunch at a time.”

— James Patterson

289. “Fang: When do I get out of here? Max: They say a week. Fang: So, like, tomorrow? Max: That’s what I’m thinking.”

— James Patterson

290. “Uh, a honking big castle of evil in Germany?”

— James Patterson

291. “It’s our job – as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles – to find books our kids are going to like.”

— James Patterson

292. “You love him so much it feels like you can’t go on without him. You feel like you might die without him.”

— James Patterson

293. “Never underestimate the power of a good laugh.”

— James Patterson

294. “You have to respect your enemy. Never, ever underestimate them. The second you do, they’ll squash you. Be smart about them. Respect their abilities, even if they don’t respect yours.”

— James Patterson

295. “Somehow all troubles and cares seemed to diminish when you were with the people you loved. Then.”

— James Patterson

296. “A vet! I started laughing weakly and had to sit on the edge of the tub. A vet. Wait till they found out how appropriate that was.”

— James Patterson

297. “Until now, I never noticed how much fantasy had to do with reality.”

— James Patterson

298. “A lot healthier than getting socked in the stomach. Especially if you had a big breakfast.”

— James Patterson

299. “I don’t believe in lecturing people. It’s much more effective to present reading as a fun, rewarding pastime.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Reading Quotes, Fun Quotes

300. “Lots of women are gifting themselves with diamonds for their right hand.”

— James Patterson