Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2025 Update)
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351. “I moved to leave, and Dylan actually grabbed me by my shoulders. I was so surprised that I forgot to karate-chop his elbows and break his arms.”

— James Patterson

352. “This was the weird part with me and Miller. We both hated each other, but even more than that, he wanted my money and I wanted my notebook back. Neither of us had said anything about it to Stricker, even when we both got suspended. It was like middle school Mafia or something.”

— James Patterson

353. “If I could run the world, I’d find another way to treat most of these criminals – most of them, not all of them – but we find widespread solutions to widespread problems in this country, so we just build big prisons and stick everyone inside them and, for the most part, forget about them once they’re gone. Noah.”

— James Patterson

354. “In movies, people always “borrow” cars by yanking some wires out from under the dash and connecting them. But the real way it works involves a screwdriver and the starter thingy, under the hood. My personal ethics prevent me from giving you more information. That’d be just what I need: a rash of car thefts across America, committed by dedicated readers.”

— James Patterson

355. “Rafe was trying to convince an older couple that they needed an extra toilet.”

— James Patterson

356. “There was freedom in the pain. It meant he was still alive, still feeling, and he felt invincible. Whatever they did to him, however hard they fought, in the end, he would win.”

— James Patterson

357. “Why is this happening? Who knows, really? Life and existence can never be fully understood. Stars are born only to explode. Creatures hunt other creatures, and then they die. The universe is a chaos of irrational forces wrestling with one another in a war without end. The human race is on the receiving end now.”

— James Patterson

358. “Was this normalcy-predictable patterns, the certainty of doing the same thing everyday? Because if so, normalcy was about to make me freak out and start screaming.”

— James Patterson

359. “Remember that country singer on American Songster, the girl whose father only let her order ketchup, mustard, and relish at McDonald’s because ketchup, mustard, and relish are free and you can mix them in a cup of hot water to make McSoup?”

— James Patterson

360. “Just in case you thought elephants were all sweetness, I can attest to the fact that this one had the time of her life scaring the bejeezus out of those dudes.”

— James Patterson

361. “I’m in shape... Round’s a shape.”

— James Patterson

362. “One good thing is that I’ve been following the priest’s orders to meditate on how I’ve hurt people. It’s helped me recognize that we can’t help but make mistakes, even when our intentions are good.”

— James Patterson

363. “Part 5 The Voice- Make that my voice.”

— James Patterson

364. “She’s about as sweet as a flaming turd.”

— James Patterson

365. “It was all I could do to not give a mwa ha ha ha!”

— James Patterson

366. “He’s wearing a dog tag. His name is Henry Webb. His unit is called BLM.” “What does it mean?” “Black Like Me. A solidarity movement, I suppose.”

— James Patterson

367. “Robinson sat up and peered out at the lawn. “I had no idea you were so deprived. They’re the best bugs in the world because they can light up their butts. It’s how they find mates.”

— James Patterson

368. “Some poeple just don’t have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.”

— James Patterson

369. “Seize what’s been handed you. Make smart decisions. Make decisions because life is a temporary situation.”

— James Patterson

370. “Iggy’s spine tightened, his face like ice. When he’d been at the School, they’d tried to surgically enhance his night vision. Now he was blind forever. Oops.”

— James Patterson

371. “If Fang is in any way harmed while I’m gone-if he gets a hangnail-you won’t see another morning. Are we clear on that?”

— James Patterson

372. “The more you read, the better you get at it.”

— James Patterson

373. “Let’s show Dr. God what hell feels like.”

— James Patterson

374. “Have faith and pursue the unknown end.” Oliver Wendell Holmes.”

— James Patterson

375. “Five minutes,” I said, and walked away, but my heart was still going just as fast as before. This was only half over. Was it five minutes until I pulled this off? Or five minutes to live?”

— James Patterson

376. “I gave him a kick and he stepped back onto the third rail. Exploding, flaming eraser! This is why moms tell you to stay away from the third rail, but it sure came in handy this time.”

— James Patterson

377. “What are hands made for but this? For holding. for holding on.”

— James Patterson

378. “I’d have everything money could buy, but it wouldn’t be the same as having everything i wanted. Not even close.”

— James Patterson

379. “There’s always be a me and you.”

— James Patterson

380. “Unfortunately, every time someone said “debriefing,” the entire flock had one image: someone’s tighty-whities disappearing in a flash. We were smothering our giggles, but it was getting harder. Coupled with the whole “naval this, and naval that,” with its undeniable belly-button connotations, we were essentially turning into a sugar-jacked, sleep-deprived flock of incoherent, silly, recombinant-DNA goofballs. This was not going to end well.”

— James Patterson

381. “The bestselling author of all time, James Patterson.”

— James Patterson

382. “If you’re ever feeling a lack of middle-aged white men, just pop into the Capitol. Not so much the House of Representatives, which has a bit more color and texture, but the Senate – jeez. Yes, let’s have more testosterone running the country. Maximum Ride, School’s Out – Forever.”

— James Patterson

383. “It was a pretty complete list. The kind of list one makes when one cannot fall asleep because one’s thoughts keep swirling through one’s brain like a bunch of sparrows on crack.”

— James Patterson

384. “Fang felt a cold jolt, then dismissed it. Max wasn’t dead. He would know, somehow. He would have felt it. The world still felt the same to him; therefore, Max was still in it.”

— James Patterson

385. “Oz thinks I’m beautiful,” she whispered to the stars.”

— James Patterson

386. “Advice: Don’t wait until someone you have issues with – especially someone you’re related to – gets shot before you work it out.”

— James Patterson

387. “I don’t think of myself as a writer.”

— James Patterson

388. “It’s always, always, always about the flock. I don’t know how to do it any other way.”

— James Patterson

389. “Can we ever really judge behavior by the behavior itself? Lesson learned. Most often, we can’t.”

— James Patterson

390. “I dumped half a cup of green tea into the sink. To hell with my chakras. I needed coffee.”

— James Patterson

391. “Please, sit down,” Sharon said with another hair toss. I made a mental note to practice doing that in a mirror the next time I saw one. it seemed a useful skill, right up there with roundhouse kicks.”

— James Patterson

392. “Keep your small mind open,” said Nana, wagging a crooked pinkie finger at Jannie. “That’s if you ever want it to grow bigger and don’t want to remain a small person all your life.”

— James Patterson

393. “You know. “I only know that I’ve lost my faith in You.” The “voice” resonated in my mind. I haven’t lost mine in you.”

— James Patterson

394. “He was laid-back. Drugs’ll do that to a person. Take a pill and you’re not really crazy anymore.”

— James Patterson

395. “Yes, I sounded like a pathetic weenie. I prefer to think of it as showing my softer side.”

— James Patterson

396. “Our luck would not run out. That’s what i told myself. But they were only words.”

— James Patterson

397. “E is definitely the biggest ERROR my mother has ever made – worse than the time she designed a litter-box-cleaning robot that flung clumps of kitty poop all over the house.”

— James Patterson

398. “You love me this much!” Fang spreads his arms wide.”

— James Patterson

399. “I’m Dr. Ethan Kane, director of the Hauer Institute. My senior medical staff joins me in welcoming all of you to Maryland and to Liberty General Hospital. Think of it! You’ve been chosen to make an extraordinary journey with us. You’ll be making medical history, making some very good money as well, and this will be the best experience you’ve ever had. I guarantee it!”

— James Patterson

400. “Give a guy with an inferiority complex some power and watch out.” I.”

— James Patterson