Top 500 James Patterson Quotes (2026 Update)
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351. “People always come up to me and say, ‘you should do standup.’ It’s nice to discover things about yourself. That keeps everything lively and fun.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Fun Quotes

352. “Every other person in the world would have looked at it and thought, Max would hate this. It was girly. It was beautiful. It wasn’t made of titanium and black leather with spikes on it. But it seemed exactly right, in a weird, heart-fluttery kind of way. And I really loved it.”

— James Patterson

353. “She’s about as sweet as a flaming turd.”

— James Patterson

354. “Every once in a while, I’ll have a ‘Do you know who I am?’ moment, at least in my head. I hate that.”

— James Patterson

355. “Just in case you thought elephants were all sweetness, I can attest to the fact that this one had the time of her life scaring the bejeezus out of those dudes.”

— James Patterson

356. “I’m in shape... Round’s a shape.”

— James Patterson

357. “I moved to leave, and Dylan actually grabbed me by my shoulders. I was so surprised that I forgot to karate-chop his elbows and break his arms.”

— James Patterson

358. “It doesn’t matter what the end looks like- what matters is that it came. Bam, you’re done. But life? There are degrees of life. You can live it well or half-asleep. You can go sledding down a sand dune, or you can spend your life in front of the TV. And i don’t mean to sound like a stupid after-school special, but you have to keep living the way we did these last weeks. Risk. That’s the secret. Risk everything.”

— James Patterson

359. “It was a pretty complete list. The kind of list one makes when one cannot fall asleep because one’s thoughts keep swirling through one’s brain like a bunch of sparrows on crack.”

— James Patterson

360. “Part 5 The Voice- Make that my voice.”

— James Patterson

361. “What is a lie? It’s a distortion of reality, presented as reality. We say it’s a bad thing. We teach kids not to lie. We even put people in prison for lying. And yet there are lies all around us, and half the time we don’t even really try to disguise it.”

— James Patterson

362. “Remember that country singer on American Songster, the girl whose father only let her order ketchup, mustard, and relish at McDonald’s because ketchup, mustard, and relish are free and you can mix them in a cup of hot water to make McSoup?”

— James Patterson

363. “The bestselling author of all time, James Patterson.”

— James Patterson

364. “Was this normalcy-predictable patterns, the certainty of doing the same thing everyday? Because if so, normalcy was about to make me freak out and start screaming.”

— James Patterson

365. “Why is this happening? Who knows, really? Life and existence can never be fully understood. Stars are born only to explode. Creatures hunt other creatures, and then they die. The universe is a chaos of irrational forces wrestling with one another in a war without end. The human race is on the receiving end now.”

— James Patterson

366. “Think about it. When the end comes, will you be buried in the arms of the one you love? Of the one who knew you your whole life, who loved you your whole life? The only person who could really and truly love you like you needed to be loved? I hope so.”

— James Patterson

367. “Have faith and pursue the unknown end.” Oliver Wendell Holmes.”

— James Patterson

368. “It was all I could do to not give a mwa ha ha ha!”

— James Patterson

369. “One good thing is that I’ve been following the priest’s orders to meditate on how I’ve hurt people. It’s helped me recognize that we can’t help but make mistakes, even when our intentions are good.”

— James Patterson

370. “Rafe was trying to convince an older couple that they needed an extra toilet.”

— James Patterson

371. “Give a guy with an inferiority complex some power and watch out.” I.”

— James Patterson

372. “There’s nothing more annoying than cold logic and reason when you’ve got a good fit going.”

— James Patterson

373. “All genders?” whispered Nudge. “Aren’t there just the two? Or did I miss something?” I shrugged. “No idea. Maybe they’ve created others.” The thought was fairly repulsive, and we made “eew” faces at each other.”

— James Patterson

374. “There was freedom in the pain. It meant he was still alive, still feeling, and he felt invincible. Whatever they did to him, however hard they fought, in the end, he would win.”

— James Patterson

375. “If you’re ever feeling a lack of middle-aged white men, just pop into the Capitol. Not so much the House of Representatives, which has a bit more color and texture, but the Senate – jeez. Yes, let’s have more testosterone running the country. Maximum Ride, School’s Out – Forever.”

— James Patterson

376. “The more you read, the better you get at it.”

— James Patterson

377. “I love the idea of expanding the universe of games to some extent. At one point, they were kind of limited to boys, fanboys and whatever. I like the idea of liberation for games.”

— James Patterson

378. “Seize what’s been handed you. Make smart decisions. Make decisions because life is a temporary situation.”

— James Patterson

379. “I gave him a kick and he stepped back onto the third rail. Exploding, flaming eraser! This is why moms tell you to stay away from the third rail, but it sure came in handy this time.”

— James Patterson

380. “Itsumademo ai shiteru, Yuki. I love you forever, my daughter.”

— James Patterson

381. “Fang felt a cold jolt, then dismissed it. Max wasn’t dead. He would know, somehow. He would have felt it. The world still felt the same to him; therefore, Max was still in it.”

— James Patterson

382. “There’s always be a me and you.”

— James Patterson

Featured in: Romance Quotes

383. “Unfortunately, every time someone said “debriefing,” the entire flock had one image: someone’s tighty-whities disappearing in a flash. We were smothering our giggles, but it was getting harder. Coupled with the whole “naval this, and naval that,” with its undeniable belly-button connotations, we were essentially turning into a sugar-jacked, sleep-deprived flock of incoherent, silly, recombinant-DNA goofballs. This was not going to end well.”

— James Patterson

384. “What are hands made for but this? For holding. for holding on.”

— James Patterson

385. “Some poeple just don’t have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.”

— James Patterson

386. “He’s wearing a dog tag. His name is Henry Webb. His unit is called BLM.” “What does it mean?” “Black Like Me. A solidarity movement, I suppose.”

— James Patterson

387. “Robinson sat up and peered out at the lawn. “I had no idea you were so deprived. They’re the best bugs in the world because they can light up their butts. It’s how they find mates.”

— James Patterson

388. “Lawyer’s credo: Anyone can sue anyone for anything.”

— James Patterson

389. “Oz thinks I’m beautiful,” she whispered to the stars.”

— James Patterson

390. “The trick to having obedient, unquestioning children was to have death be the other option.”

— James Patterson

391. “I don’t think of myself as a writer.”

— James Patterson

392. “Iggy’s spine tightened, his face like ice. When he’d been at the School, they’d tried to surgically enhance his night vision. Now he was blind forever. Oops.”

— James Patterson

393. “A saying of Sun-tzu’s hammered through her head: “A victorious army wins its victories before seeking battle.”

— James Patterson

394. “By taking control of my sexuality, I felt like I’d finally taken control of my life.”

— James Patterson

395. “Five minutes,” I said, and walked away, but my heart was still going just as fast as before. This was only half over. Was it five minutes until I pulled this off? Or five minutes to live?”

— James Patterson

396. “Let’s show Dr. God what hell feels like.”

— James Patterson

397. “You love me this much!” Fang spreads his arms wide.”

— James Patterson

398. “If Fang is in any way harmed while I’m gone-if he gets a hangnail-you won’t see another morning. Are we clear on that?”

— James Patterson

399. “I’d have everything money could buy, but it wouldn’t be the same as having everything i wanted. Not even close.”

— James Patterson

400. “Please, sit down,” Sharon said with another hair toss. I made a mental note to practice doing that in a mirror the next time I saw one. it seemed a useful skill, right up there with roundhouse kicks.”

— James Patterson