Top 100

Top 100 Milton Berle Quotes (2024 Update)
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Milton Berle Quote: “She was nice to him on Valentine’s Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.”
Milton Berle Quote: “It’s rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.”
Milton Berle Quote: “We owe a lot to Thomas Edison-if it wasn’t for him, we’d be watching television by candlelight.”
Milton Berle Quote: “She wanted an Italian sports car – with the sport still in it.”
Milton Berle Quote: “I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.”
Milton Berle Quote: “The last time I saw Marilyn was in late 1959, when I appeared in Let’s Make Love at Fox. The wide-eyed Marilyn I had first known was gone. This Marilyn was more beautiful than ever.”
Milton Berle Quote: “My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.”
Milton Berle Quote: “You don’t need to travel, laughter is an instant vacation.”
Milton Berle Quote: “I bought my kid an educational toy to help him make it through life. No matter how you put it together, it’s wrong.”
Milton Berle Quote: “Sir, I didn’t deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?”
Milton Berle Quote: “Valentine’s Day – a nice holiday because it’s the first day of the rest of your wife.”
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