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P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

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P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.”

Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

— P.J. O'Rourke



P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “B students work for C students. A students teach.”

B students work for C students. A students teach.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.”

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.”

When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.”

No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.”

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.”

You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet.”

Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected.”

Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected.

— P.J. O'Rourke



P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “It’s better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.”

It’s better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “Commies love concrete.”

Commies love concrete.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn’t afford college to study the works of Charles Darwin.”

Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn’t afford college to study the works of Charles Darwin.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people’s feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.”

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people’s feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “There’s a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.”

There’s a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “We’ll run this planet as we please, and if you don’t like it, go back where we came from.”

We’ll run this planet as we please, and if you don’t like it, go back where we came from.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.”

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.”

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “Microeconomics is about money you don’t have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of.”

Microeconomics is about money you don’t have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of.

— P.J. O'Rourke


P.J. O'Rourke Quote: “Idealism is based on big ideas. And, as anybody who has ever been asked “What’s the big idea?” knows, most big ideas are bad ones.”

Idealism is based on big ideas. And, as anybody who has ever been asked “What’s the big idea?” knows, most big ideas are bad ones.

— P.J. O'Rourke


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