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“There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Groucho Marx Quotes

Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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“There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

— Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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Groucho Marx Quote: “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

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1. “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Quotes About Books And Reading, Crazy Quotes, Clever Quotes, Funny Work Quotes

2. “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Time Quotes, Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Clever Quotes

3. “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Witty Quotes, Funny Work Quotes

4. “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Being Happy Quotes

5. “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Humor Quotes, Mistake Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life, Short Funny Quotes

6. “Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Good Morning Quotes

7. “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Witty Quotes, Funny Office Quotes, Funny Love Quotes

8. “Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”

— Groucho Marx

9. “I intend to live forever, or die trying.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Impossible Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes

10. “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.”

— Groucho Marx

11. “If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Fun Quotes

12. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.”

— Groucho Marx

13. “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”

— Groucho Marx

14. “The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You’ve Got It Made.”

— Groucho Marx

15. “A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

— Groucho Marx

16. “There are only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family. For everything else, you need a plan.”

— Groucho Marx

17. “No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Quotes About Work, Boss Quotes

18. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Funny Love Quotes

19. “I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.”

— Groucho Marx

20. “Whatever it is, I’m against it.”

— Groucho Marx

21. “He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

— Groucho Marx

22. “What have future generations ever done for us?”

— Groucho Marx

23. “Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

24. “Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”

— Groucho Marx

25. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”

— Groucho Marx

26. “Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes, Marriage Quotes, Romance Quotes, Funny Love Quotes

27. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and that’s not saying much for you.”

— Groucho Marx

28. “While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”

— Groucho Marx

29. “Time wounds all heels.”

— Groucho Marx

30. “Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.”

— Groucho Marx

31. “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”

— Groucho Marx

32. “Now there’s a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!”

— Groucho Marx

33. “Celebrate the cracks, because that’s how the light comes in.”

— Groucho Marx

34. “Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.”

— Groucho Marx

35. “Blood’s not thicker than money.”

— Groucho Marx

36. “There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says, ‘Yes,’ you know he is a crook.”

— Groucho Marx

37. “A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”

— Groucho Marx

38. “I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I’d rather dance with the cows until you come home.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes

39. “Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.”

— Groucho Marx

40. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

— Groucho Marx

41. “It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.”

— Groucho Marx

42. “This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Book Quotes, Reading Quotes

43. “Patience is the art of finding something else to do.”

— Groucho Marx

44. “If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.”

— Groucho Marx

45. “A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.”

— Groucho Marx

46. “Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.”

— Groucho Marx

47. “Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!”

— Groucho Marx

Featured in: Witty Quotes

48. “Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.”

— Groucho Marx

49. “Humor is reason gone mad.”

— Groucho Marx

50. “Don’t let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.”

— Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx Quotes

Groucho Marx Quotes

Quotes About Books And Reading

Quotes About Books And Reading

Groucho Marx Quotes

Groucho Marx Quotes

Quotes About Books And Reading

Quotes About Books And Reading

Sarcastic Quotes

Sarcastic Quotes

Impossible Quotes

Impossible Quotes

Quotes About Work

Quotes About Work

Hilarious Quotes

Hilarious Quotes

Good Morning Quotes

Good Morning Quotes

Being Happy Quotes

Being Happy Quotes

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