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“I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

— W. C. Fields

Featured in: W. C. Fields Quotes

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

“I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

— W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

W. C. Fields Quote: “I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.”

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1. “Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

— H. L. Mencken

Featured in: Humor Quotes

2. “For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.”

— H. L. Mencken

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3. “Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.”

— H. L. Mencken

4. “There comes a time in every man’s life when he’s consumed by the desire to spit on his palms, hoist the black flag and start cutting throats.”

— H. L. Mencken

5. “Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.”

— H. L. Mencken

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6. “For the habitual truth-teller and truth-seeker, indeed, the whole world has very little liking. He is always unpopular.”

— H. L. Mencken

7. “You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.”

— H. L. Mencken

8. “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.”

— H. L. Mencken

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9. “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, and intolerable...”

— H. L. Mencken

10. “When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.”

— H. L. Mencken

11. “On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

— H. L. Mencken

12. “There is always an easy solution to every problem – neat, plausible, and wrong.”

— H. L. Mencken

13. “The best client is a scared millionaire.”

— H. L. Mencken

14. “The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.”

— H. L. Mencken

15. “The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.”

— H. L. Mencken

16. “Honor is simply the morality of superior men.”

— H. L. Mencken

17. “The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.”

— H. L. Mencken

18. “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.”

— H. L. Mencken

19. “Those who can’t teach – administrate. Those who can’t administrate – go into politics.”

— H. L. Mencken

20. “Every complex problem has a simple solution that doesn’t work.”

— H. L. Mencken

21. “Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.”

— H. L. Mencken

22. “Adultery is the application of democracy to love.”

— H. L. Mencken

23. “Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

— H. L. Mencken

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24. “I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.”

— H. L. Mencken

25. “Morality is doing what is right regardless of what you are told. Obedience is doing what is told regardless of what is right.”

— H. L. Mencken

26. “The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.”

— H. L. Mencken

27. “The State doesn’t just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey.”

— H. L. Mencken

28. “Never argue with a man whose job depends on not being convinced.”

— H. L. Mencken

29. “A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”

— H. L. Mencken

30. “There is no idea so stupid that you can’t find a professor who will believe it.”

— H. L. Mencken

31. “A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”

— H. L. Mencken

32. “Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration – courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, above all, love of the truth.”

— H. L. Mencken

33. “You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.”

— H. L. Mencken

34. “Our whole practical government is grounded in mob psychology and the Boobus Americanus will follow any command that promises to make him safer.”

— H. L. Mencken

35. “The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do.”

— H. L. Mencken

36. “The central belief of every moron is that he is the victim of a mysterious conspiracy against his common rights and true deserts.”

— H. L. Mencken

37. “The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.”

— H. L. Mencken

38. “Life is a dead-end street.”

— H. L. Mencken

39. “Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong.”

— H. L. Mencken

40. “Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.”

— H. L. Mencken

41. “Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true.”

— H. L. Mencken

42. “No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.”

— H. L. Mencken

Featured in: Marriage Quotes

43. “Never underestimate the bad taste of the American public.”

— H. L. Mencken

44. “There are no dull subjects. There are only dull writers.”

— H. L. Mencken

45. “The average man’s love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary. It takes a special sort of man to understand and enjoy liberty and he is usually an outlaw in democratic societies.”

— H. L. Mencken

46. “Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.”

— H. L. Mencken

47. “The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”

— H. L. Mencken

48. “The only really happy folk are married women and single men.”

— H. L. Mencken

49. “We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.”

— H. L. Mencken

50. “The believing mind is externally impervious to evidence. The most that can be accomplished with it is to induce it to substitute one delusion for another. It rejects all overt evidence as wicked...”

— H. L. Mencken

W. C. Fields Quotes

W. C. Fields Quotes

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W. C. Fields Quotes

W. C. Fields Quotes

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Sarcastic Quotes

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Hilarious Quotes

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Demotivational Quotes

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