Top 35 Victor Borge Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

— Victor Borge

Featured in: Cute Quotes, Happy Friday Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Friends Quotes, Funny Best Friend Quotes

2. “Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.”

— Victor Borge

3. “A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.”

— Victor Borge

4. “I normally don’t do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.”

— Victor Borge

5. “The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.”

— Victor Borge

6. “The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.”

— Victor Borge

7. “I don’t mind growing old. I’m just not used to it.”

— Victor Borge

8. “Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.”

— Victor Borge

9. “The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.”

— Victor Borge

10. “I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much.”

— Victor Borge

11. “The first piano was built long after they didn’t have any at all.”

— Victor Borge

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

12. “Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.”

— Victor Borge

13. “My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.”

— Victor Borge

14. “In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist – but I found I had nothing to say.”

— Victor Borge

15. “Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That’s because he moved twice.”

— Victor Borge

16. “I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.”

— Victor Borge

17. “Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.”

— Victor Borge

18. “Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I’ve seen statues of him on people’s pianos.”

— Victor Borge

19. “Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.”

— Victor Borge

20. “In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.”

— Victor Borge

21. “I only know two pieces; one is ‘Clair de Lune’ and the other one isn’t.”

— Victor Borge

22. “That’s why I’ve never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?”

— Victor Borge

23. “Well, all’s fair in love, war and fooling the critics.”

— Victor Borge

24. “Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.”

— Victor Borge

25. “Nogle ting er bedre i Sverige end i Danmark. De har bedre naboer.”

— Victor Borge

26. “One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn’t have a fireplace.”

— Victor Borge

27. “You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?”

— Victor Borge

28. “There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.”

— Victor Borge

29. “Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.”

— Victor Borge

30. “The essence of a general’s job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose. to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.”

— Victor Borge

31. “I learned to play the piano on my mother’s knee – that was before we got a piano.”

— Victor Borge

32. “There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.”

— Victor Borge

33. “When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.”

— Victor Borge

34. “They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.”

— Victor Borge

35. “If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that’s my reward.”

— Victor Borge