Top 250 Bill Watterson Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone’s expectations.”

— Bill Watterson

52. “Careful. We don’t want to learn from this.”

— Bill Watterson

53. “People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something.”

— Bill Watterson

54. “HOBBES: All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once.”

— Bill Watterson

55. “Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.”

— Bill Watterson

56. “I’m a misunderstood genius.”

— Bill Watterson

57. “What state do you live in? Denial.”

— Bill Watterson

58. “Scientific Progress goes boink?”

— Bill Watterson

59. “I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.”

— Bill Watterson

60. “Form follows function, as the architects say. With words and pictures, you can do just about anything.”

— Bill Watterson

61. “As far as I’m concerned, if something is so complicated that you can’t explain it in 10 seconds, then it’s probably not worth knowing anyway.”

— Bill Watterson

62. “I’ve got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.”

— Bill Watterson

63. “Mothers are the necessity of invention.”

— Bill Watterson

64. “Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.”

— Bill Watterson

65. “Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules, and rewards.”

— Bill Watterson

66. “You can make your superhero a psychopath, you can draw gut-splattering violence, and you can call it a “graphic novel,” but comic books are still incredibly stupid.”

— Bill Watterson

67. “I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.”

— Bill Watterson

68. “People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.”

— Bill Watterson

69. “You can present the material, but you can’t make me care.”

— Bill Watterson

70. “Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery – it recharges by running.”

— Bill Watterson

71. “I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you’re doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you’re lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you’re really lucky.”

— Bill Watterson

72. “I have all these great genes, but they’re recessive. That’s the problem here.”

— Bill Watterson

73. “The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.”

— Bill Watterson

74. “I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.”

— Bill Watterson

75. “I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.”

— Bill Watterson

76. “I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”

— Bill Watterson

77. “Some days you get up and you already know that things aren’t going to go well. They’re the type of days when you should just give in, put your pajamas back on, make some hot chocolate and read comic books in bed with the covers up until the world looks more encouraging. Of course, they never let you do that.”

— Bill Watterson

78. “I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.”

— Bill Watterson

79. “I’m crying because out there he’s gone, but he’s not gone inside me.”

— Bill Watterson

80. “I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.”

— Bill Watterson

81. “You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!”

— Bill Watterson

82. “HOBBES: If you don’t get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.”

— Bill Watterson

83. “When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”

— Bill Watterson

84. “Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?”

— Bill Watterson

85. “History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.”

— Bill Watterson

86. “Why does man create? Is it man’s purpose on earth to express himself, to bring form to thought, and to discover meaning in experience? Or is it just something to do when he’s bored?”

— Bill Watterson

87. “They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!”

— Bill Watterson

88. “Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can’t, and the incapacity to tell the difference.”

— Bill Watterson

89. “I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.”

— Bill Watterson

90. “The score is still Q to 12!”

— Bill Watterson

91. “Paul Gauguin asked, “whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?” Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but I came from my room, I’m a kid with big plans, and I’m going outside! See ya later! Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?”

— Bill Watterson

92. “What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?”

— Bill Watterson

93. “You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”

— Bill Watterson

94. “Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you’re done before you know it.”

— Bill Watterson

95. “Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ’possum stuck in your collar?”

— Bill Watterson

96. “Hold it. You know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?”

— Bill Watterson

97. “When you look into infinity, you realize there are more important things than what people do all day.”

— Bill Watterson

98. “The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!”

— Bill Watterson

99. “We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”

— Bill Watterson

100. “I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. – Calvin.”

— Bill Watterson