Top 250 Bill Watterson Quotes (2026 Update)
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101. “It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.”

— Bill Watterson

102. “So long, Pop! I’m off to check my tiger trap!”

— Bill Watterson

103. “Books are almost always better than the movies made from them, because there are things books do well and things movies do well, but usually those things don’t overlap: the same with comics and animation.”

— Bill Watterson

104. “I’m related to people I don’t relate to.”

— Bill Watterson

105. “Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!”

— Bill Watterson

106. “What fun is it being cool if you can’t wear a sombrero?”

— Bill Watterson

Featured in: Fun Quotes

107. “Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.”

— Bill Watterson

108. “Calvin : There’s no problem so awful, that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”

— Bill Watterson

109. “Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?”

— Bill Watterson

110. “I’m resolving to just wing it and see what happens.”

— Bill Watterson

111. “The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!”

— Bill Watterson

112. “If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.”

— Bill Watterson

113. “It’s not the medium, but the quality of perception and expression, that determines the significance of art.”

— Bill Watterson

114. “Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can’t, and the incapacity to tell the difference.”

— Bill Watterson

115. “For no reason I can think of, I’ve wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.”

— Bill Watterson

116. “HOBBES: Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.”

— Bill Watterson

117. “It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.”

— Bill Watterson

118. “I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.”

— Bill Watterson

119. “Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.”

— Bill Watterson

120. “Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes.”

— Bill Watterson

121. “I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!”

— Bill Watterson

122. “What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?”

— Bill Watterson

123. “You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”

— Bill Watterson

124. “Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ’possum stuck in your collar?”

— Bill Watterson

125. “Hold it. You know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?”

— Bill Watterson

126. “We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”

— Bill Watterson

127. “Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.”

— Bill Watterson

128. “The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!”

— Bill Watterson

129. “I must follow the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.”

— Bill Watterson

130. “I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. – Calvin.”

— Bill Watterson

131. “Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another.”

— Bill Watterson

132. “As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.”

— Bill Watterson

133. “I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification. -Calvin.”

— Bill Watterson

134. “The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.”

— Bill Watterson

Featured in: Fun Quotes

135. “That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.”

— Bill Watterson

136. “Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.”

— Bill Watterson

137. “I’ve never understood people who remember childhood as an idyllic time.”

— Bill Watterson

138. “Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!”

— Bill Watterson

139. “Verbing weirds language.”

— Bill Watterson

140. “It must be hard to cook if you anthropomorphisize your vegetables.”

— Bill Watterson

141. “Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.”

— Bill Watterson

142. “Idiocy is the essence of the male mind.”

— Bill Watterson

143. “Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.”

— Bill Watterson

144. “If you’ve ever compared a film to a novel it’s based on, you know the novel gets bludgeoned. It’s inevitable, because different media have different strengths and needs, and when you make a movie, the movie’s needs get served.”

— Bill Watterson

145. “I always think of “Popeye” and “Barney Google” as quintessential comic strips in that old rollicky, slapstick way we’ve sort of lost.”

— Bill Watterson

146. “The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.”

— Bill Watterson

147. “Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other...”

— Bill Watterson

148. “Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.”

— Bill Watterson

149. “A real job is a job you hate.”

— Bill Watterson

150. “My book is called, “Shut Up And Stop Whining: How To Do Something With Your Life Besides Think About Yourself.”

— Bill Watterson