Top 100

Top 250 Bill Watterson Quotes (2024 Update)
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Bill Watterson Quote: “I must follow the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification. -Calvin.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “I’m a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “No sport is less organized than Calvinball.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “I liked things better when I didn’t understand them.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!”
Bill Watterson Quote: “It must be hard to cook if you anthropomorphisize your vegetables.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Girls are like slugs – they probably serve some purpose, but it’s hard to imagine what.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Reading goes faster if you don’t sweat comprehension.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Calvin : There’s no problem so awful, that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “I’m related to people I don’t relate to.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “For no reason I can think of, I’ve wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?”
Bill Watterson Quote: “So long, Pop! I’m off to check my tiger trap!”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Books are almost always better than the movies made from them, because there are things books do well and things movies do well, but usually those things don’t overlap: the same with comics and animation.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “The best presents don’t come in boxes.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!”
Bill Watterson Quote: “The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!”
Bill Watterson Quote: “I’m resolving to just wing it and see what happens.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Heck, what’s a little extortion among friends?”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “For your information, I’m staying like this, and everyone else can just get used to it! If people don’t like me the way I am, well TOUGH BEANS! It’s a free country! I don’t need anyone’s permission to be the way I want! This is who I am – Take it or leave it!”
Bill Watterson Quote: “I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “HOBBES: Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?”
Bill Watterson Quote: “It’s not the medium, but the quality of perception and expression, that determines the significance of art.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “What fun is it being cool if you can’t wear a sombrero?”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “What assurance do I have that your parenting isn’t screwing me up?”
Bill Watterson Quote: “It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “If your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.”
Bill Watterson Quote: “Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!”
Bill Watterson Quote: “You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.”
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