Top 500 Chuck Palahniuk Quotes (2026 Update)
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451. “She’s not wearing makeup so her face just looks like skin.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

452. “If you look at old pictures, Irene Casey is so pretty. Not just young, but pretty the way you look when your face goes smooth, the skin around your eyes and lips relaxed, the pretty you only look when you love the person taking the picture.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

453. “Let me be the ring leader in your guilt gang-bang.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

454. “Any time some well-meaning person forces you to demonstrate you have no talent and rubs your nose in the fact you’re a failure at the only dream you ever had, take another drink.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

455. “To preserve yourself as the center of the world, to stay your own best authority on everything, your own expert on all topics, infallible, omniscient. Always, every time of the month, forever: Use birth control.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

456. “I would say any behavior that is not the status quo is interpreted as insanity, when, in fact, it might actually be enlightenment. Insanity is sorta in the eye of the beholder.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

457. “That quest for something pretty. A cheat. A cliche. Flowers and Christmas lights, it’s what we’re programmed to love.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

458. “Portland in particular is a cheap enough place to live that you can still develop your passion – painting, writing, music. People seem less status-conscious. Even wealthy people buy second-hand clothes and look a little bit homeless.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

459. “If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

460. “The police are asking through the bedroom door, why did I make a batch of strawberry daiquiris before I called them? Because we were out of raspberries. Because, can’t they see, it just does not matter. Time was not of the essence.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

461. “Only through destroying myself can I discover the greater power of my spirit.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

462. “Of all the priceless objects left behind, this is what we rescue. These artifacts. Memory cues. Useless souvenirs. Nothing you could auction. The scars left from happiness.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

463. “This is our world now, and those ancient people are dead.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

464. “It takes a lot to get people talking in airplanes. But once they start talking, you just can’t shut them up.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

465. “If you make people laugh too much, their blood becomes – I believe it is acidic as opposed to alkaline. It changes the oxygen level in the blood, and people are likelier to pass out at that point.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

466. “The little boy smiled back at all the angry faces glaring in at him. And the little boy blew kisses.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

467. “The money is in television. Books are not the dominant medium of our time, so fewer people will create them. In a sad way, books have become a form of “comfort food” we expect to lull us to sleep.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Featured in: Book Quotes

468. “Mnye etoh nadoh kahk zoobee v zadnetze.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

469. “Get through the moment. Avoid confrontation. Run away. That’s pretty much how we get through our own lives, watching television. Smoking crap. Self-medicating. Redirecting our own attention. Jacking off. Denial.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

470. “Picture anybody growing up so stupid he didn’t know that hope is just another phase you’ll grow out of.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

471. “Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can’t teach God anything.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

472. “Katherine Kenton remains among the generation of women who feel that the most sincere form of flattery is the male erection.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

473. “Life’s greatest comfort is being able to look over your shoulder and see people worse off, waiting in line behind you.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

474. “Then you’re trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

475. “The photographer in my head says: Give me peace. Flash. Give me release. Flash.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

476. “Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?”

— Chuck Palahniuk

477. “Think of spoiled cat food and ulcerated cankers and expired donor organs. That’s how beautiful she looks.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

478. “The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

479. “The lucky ones are just born dead.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

480. “Brandy is so attractive you could chop her head off and put it on blue velvet in the window at Tiffany’s and somebody would buy it for a million dollars.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

481. “When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep, and you’re never really awake. With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

482. “I think in a way, you’re doomed, once you can envision something. You’re sort of doomed to make it happen. I’ve found that the moment I can envision leaving a relationship, that’s usually the moment that the relationship starts to fall apart.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

483. “History is filled with brilliant people who wanted to fix things and just made them worse.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

484. “The avant-garde in every field consists of the lonely, the friendless, the uninvited. All progress is the product of the unpopular.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

485. “Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

486. “Regret, Daisy knew, was the only confirmation of a well-lived life. If you didn’t occasionally go too far, you weren’t going anywhere.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

487. “You spend your entire life becoming God and then you die.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

488. “Since we do operate in a binary world, if there’s something that cannot be this or that, it drives us crazy.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

489. “I’m not sure what we’re running from. Nobody. Or the future. Fate. Growing up. Getting old. Picking up the pieces. As if running we won’t have to get on with our lives.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

490. “He was the kind of boy any young girl should date while she’s still able to recover.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

491. “Honest is how I want to look. The truth doesn’t glitter and shine.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

492. “Idiot people like Angel Delaporte who look for a supernatural reason for ordinary events, those people drive Misty nuts.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

493. “The cancer I don’t have is everywhere now.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

494. “That’s how a scary story works. It echoes some ancient fear. It re-creates some forgotten terror. Something we’d like to think we’ve grown beyond. But it can still scare us to tears. It’s something you’d hoped was healed.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

495. “That’s what I love about fire, how it would kill me as quick as anybody else. How it can’t know I’m its mother. It’s so beautiful and powerful and beyond feeling anything for anybody, that’s what I love about fire.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

496. “We have pain and hate and love and joy and war in the world because we want them.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

497. “A child who is disillusioned abruptly, by his peers or siblings, being ridiculed for his faith and imagination, may choose never to believe in anything- tangible or intangible- again. To never trust or wonder.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

498. “My life has been about living like a monk and looking like a priest so that people will come up to me and tell me their most appalling stories. They have to make their confession to somebody, and it might as well be me.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Featured in: Quotes About Stories

499. “The girl traced the outline of her lover’s shadow so she would always have a record of how he looked...”

— Chuck Palahniuk

500. “The bigger the mistake looks, the better chance I’ll have to break out and live a real life. Our real discoveries come from chaos. – Brandy Alexander.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Featured in: Real Quotes