Top 500 Chuck Palahniuk Quotes (2026 Update)
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251. “The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

252. “If you’re male and you’re Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And if you never know your father, if your father bails out or dies or is never at home, what do you believe about God?”

— Chuck Palahniuk

253. “I know this because Tyler knows this.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

254. “Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be. Every time you don’t throw yourself down the stairs, that’s a choice. Every time you don’t crash your car, you re-enlist.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

255. “When we don’t know who to hate, we hate ourselves.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

256. “That’s the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

257. “We don’t have a great war in our generation, or a great depression, but we do, we have a great war of the spirit. We have a great revolution against the culture. The great depression is our lives. We have a spiritual depression.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

258. “We’ve been speaking English as a second language so long that we’ve forgotten it as our first.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

259. “If you’re not drunk and half naked by this point, you’re not paying attention.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

260. “To some of us, the nights are too long. To some, the days.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

261. “The joke is, we all have the same punchline.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

262. “When nobody will look at you, you can stare a hole in them. Picking out all the little details you’d never stare long enough to get if they’d even just return your gaze, this, this is your revenge.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

263. “According to Plato, we don’t learn anything. Our soul has lived so many lives that we know everything. Teachers and education can only remind us of what we already know.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

264. “I think standardization is really the first step to something being commodified.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

265. “The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

266. “In a world where billions believe their deity conceived a mortal child with a virgin human, it’s stunning how little imagination most people display.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

267. “Our humanity isn’t measured by how we treat other people, our humanity is measured by how we treat animals.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

268. “Maybe we should always assume the worst.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

269. “People take conventional ways that other people have always decorated their cars, and use them as ways of giving other people permission to approach them.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

270. “Some people still think knowledge is power.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

271. “More and more, it feels like I’m doing a really bad impersonation of myself.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

272. “Getting fired,’ Tyler says, ’is the best thing that could happen to any of us. That way, we’d quit treading water and do something with our lives.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

273. “Everybody looks a little crazy if you’re looking close enough and if you can’t look that close, then you don’t really love them.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

274. “Young people want mirrors. Older people want art.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

275. “I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

276. “My father never went to college so it was really important I go to college. After college, I called him long distance and said, now what? My dad didn’t know. When I got a job and turned twenty-five, long distance, I said, now what? My dad didn’t know, so he said, get married. I’m a thirty-year-old boy, and I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer I need.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

277. “Love is a skill you learn.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

278. “There’s always the chance you could die right in the middle of your life story.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Featured in: Quotes About Stories

279. “I take a lot of flak from the counter-establishment for selling out.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

280. “No matter what happens, it’s always now.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

281. “For the record, knowing when people are only pretending to like you isn’t such a great skill to have.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

282. “I want to find something else, unknowable, some place that’s not on the map. A real adventure.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Featured in: Real Quotes

283. “As a lower-class kid, I was raised to think success would be owning stuff. Having that great job, too. Now I find my parents’ dream was wrong. You never really own anything. And you’re never really finished as a person.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

284. “Losing all hope was freedom.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

285. “We all have some proper noun to blame.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

286. “Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

287. “May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. Deliver me, Tyler, from being perfect and complete.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

288. “Yes, Icarus fell to earth after flying too close to the sun, but what a glorious fall it must have been. Almost worth the flaming wings tied to his arms, waving helplessly in a shower of.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

289. “Because everything up to now is a story and everything after now is a story.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Featured in: Quotes About Stories

290. “A comedy ends with a wedding, and a tragedy ends with a funeral: you always have to juxtapose sex and death.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

291. “I tiger can smile A snake will say it loves you Lies make us evil.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

292. “Las Vegas looks the way you’d imagine heaven must look at night.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

293. “Burn the Louvre, and wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa. This way at least, God would know our names.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

294. “It’s easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It’s a lot more difficult to perform one.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

295. “No matter how much you love someone, you still want to have you own way.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

296. “What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

297. “When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat?”

— Chuck Palahniuk

298. “Every woman is just a different kind of problem.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

299. “We’ve taken the world apart but we have no idea what to do with the pieces.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

300. “Disaster is a natural part of my evolution toward tragedy and dissolution.”

— Chuck Palahniuk