Top 250 Derek Landy Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “The calm before the storm.”

— Derek Landy

2. “The sparrow flies south for the winter.”

— Derek Landy

3. “Doors are for people with no imagination.”

— Derek Landy

4. “Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.”

— Derek Landy

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5. “The world is bigger than you know, and scarier than you might imagine. The only currency worth anything is being true to yourself, and the only goal worth seeking is finding out who you truly are.”

— Derek Landy

6. “We’re not retreating, we’re advancing in reverse.? – Skulduggery Pleasant.”

— Derek Landy

7. “Every solution to every problem is simple. It’s the distance between the two where the mystery lies.”

— Derek Landy

8. “Don’t be jealous of my genius.”

— Derek Landy

9. “I’m sophisticated, charming, suave, and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilized.”

— Derek Landy

10. “I’m placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don’t know, possibly littering.”

— Derek Landy

11. “If things go wrong, I’ll lead them away. Once it’s clear, get back to the car. If you don’t see me in five minutes, then I’ve probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don’t Oh, and don’t touch the radio – I’ve got it tuned right where I want it and I don’t want you messing that up.”

— Derek Landy

12. “Plans are invitation to disappointment.”

— Derek Landy

13. “The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.”

— Derek Landy

14. “We don’t do what we do for the glory or the fame or the credit; we do it for the quiet satisfaction of making the world a better place, saving the lives of innocents, and being better than you are.”

— Derek Landy

15. “I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how ridiculous their beards.”

— Derek Landy

16. “Come and have a go, if you think you’re hard enough.”

— Derek Landy

17. “Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.”

— Derek Landy

18. “There’s no such thing as winning or losing. There is a won and there is a lost, there is victory and defeat. There are absolutes. Everything in between is still left to fight for – Skulduggery Pleasant.”

— Derek Landy

19. “Love is finding someone better than you are, and holding on for dear life.”

— Derek Landy

20. “The greatest enemy we can face is ourselves, and the greatest battle is against the darkness within.”

— Derek Landy

21. “Doors are for people with no imagination.” – Skulduggery Pleasant.”

— Derek Landy

22. “While my insides may be rotten, I still like a good reason to kill someone. It has to be either business, personal, or out of sheer boredom.”

— Derek Landy

23. “Well, for future reference, this is my serious face.”

— Derek Landy

24. “I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don’t like; that’s you Beryl.”

— Derek Landy

25. “That’s a shame. I’m sure somebody, somewhere, cares.”

— Derek Landy

26. “In that movie, Mr Miyagi has Daniel doing all these mundane tasks like painting the fence and waxing the car, then later Daniel does the same moves and finds out it’s kung fu. You have me doing all of these fighting moves... If I find out later that what you’re actually doing is teaching me how to paint fences and wax cars, I’m not paying you, you understand? – Scapegrace.”

— Derek Landy

27. “She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person’s teenage years lasted well into their fifties.”

— Derek Landy

28. “The rain battered the cottage. Valkyrie risked a look up at Skulduggery. “What is it?” she whispered. “It’s a box,” he whispered back. “What kind of box?” “A wooden one.” She gave him a look.”

— Derek Landy

29. “Still, he figured, sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, and then sometimes you’ve just got to run like hell after it’s done.”

— Derek Landy

30. “You’re as sharp as a marble.”

— Derek Landy

31. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about enjoying something that other people don’t. Well, apart from torture, but that’s probably the only exception.”

— Derek Landy

32. “Don’t open the door to strangers,” said her dad. “Unless they’re selling something. Then open the door and see if I’d like it. If I’d like it, buy it for me. But nothing cheap. I have standards. Nothing too expensive, either. My standards aren’t that high.”

— Derek Landy

33. “Are you taking my hat hostage?”

— Derek Landy

34. “This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with this skirt, – China Sorrows.”

— Derek Landy

35. “Just because someone is ugly on the outside doesn’t mean they’re not even uglier on the inside. The reverse is also true for the beautiful.”

— Derek Landy

36. “Bravery, after all, isn’t the absence of fear. Bravery is the acknowledgement and the conquering of fear.”

— Derek Landy

37. “Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I’m far too graceful.”

— Derek Landy

38. “I’m fairly certain. I could be some ghastly hallucination, a figment of my own imagination.”

— Derek Landy

39. “Cheer up everyone, since we’re all going to die horribly anyway, what’s there to be worried about? – Skulduggery Pleasant.”

— Derek Landy

40. “The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend – Skulduggery Pleasant.”

— Derek Landy

41. “I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.”

— Derek Landy

42. “Stranger things have happened, and do with alarming regularity.”

— Derek Landy

43. “He stepped closer to her. “Thank you for saving me,” he said softly, and wrapped the bones of his arms around her. Valkyrie smiled and hugged him back.”

— Derek Landy

44. “Skulduggery Pleasant walked off the battlefield, and Lord Vile walked into my Temple. – High Priest Tenebrae.”

— Derek Landy

45. “That’s beautiful,? Valkyrie said, looking at it. Isn’t it? This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times, I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with this skirt.”

— Derek Landy

46. “Punishment is not the answer. Punishment is easy. It’s lazy. Redemption is hard. Redemption makes you work.”

— Derek Landy

47. “Tides do what tides do–they turn.”

— Derek Landy

48. “I’m just waiting for the violent urges to subside.”

— Derek Landy

49. “Oh my god you’re thicker than you look.”

— Derek Landy

50. “There is a place called reality. It is a place where people use doors instead of windows. Where, when you click a sound is made not a flame. Where, a shadow is a thing created by the sun, not a weapon. Where, your reflection stays in the mirror. And where skeletons don’t walk and talk. But you can escape this place. You just have to have one thing. Imagination.”

— Derek Landy