Top 100

Top 250 Erma Bombeck Quotes (2023 Update)
Page 4 of 6

Erma Bombeck Quote: “Why take pride in cooking, when they don’t take pride in eating?”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I firmly believe kids don’t want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you’re in big trouble.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “For the first two years of a child’s life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then we spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out how we can reverse the process.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I’m so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn’t show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Success is outliving your failures.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “God created man, but I could do better.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I don’t know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ‘Checkout Time is 18 years.’”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can’t make it stay awake.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “It was a bitter moment for us. We weren’t two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy’s permission, blessings, and money to survive.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It’s literary suicide.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “To say, “Well, I write when I really get into it” is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I think it’s time we women stopped carrying supplies for the entire family. If children don’t have room to carry their own toys, if men don’t have pockets in their pants, tougho.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Motherhood isn’t just a series of contractions; it’s a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “For some unexplained reason, it’s always the other end of the table that’s wild and raucous, with screaming laughter and a fella who plays ‘Holiday for Strings’ on water glasses.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn’t want our daughter to marry one.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I’m on a diet as my skin doesn’t fit me anymore.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “My idea of ‘roughing it’ is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs with the door handles still intact.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “A child develops individuality long before he develops taste.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Bombeck’s Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.”
Erma Bombeck Quote: “Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.”
PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 NEXT
Courage Quotes
Real Quotes
Book Quotes
Firsts Quotes
Reading Quotes
Fun Quotes
Quotes About Dreams
Spiritual Quotes
Kindness Quotes
Country Quotes
Quotes About Children
Christmas Quotes

Beautiful Wallpapers and Images

We hope you enjoyed our collection of 250 free pictures with Erma Bombeck Quotes.

All of the images on this page were created with QuoteFancy Studio.

Use QuoteFancy Studio to create high-quality images for your desktop backgrounds, blog posts, presentations, social media, videos, posters and more.

Learn more