Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2025 Update)
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51. “There is an art to irritation that only few of us can achieve.”

— Gail Carriger

52. “Too many things were going on in her head at once, and it was causing her eyes to leak.”

— Gail Carriger

53. “To put the pudding in the puff: she had retreated to the library, her favorite sanctuary in any house, only to happen upon an unexpected vampire. She.”

— Gail Carriger

54. “Trust me, darling, it is never a good idea to have too many queens in one place, let alone one palace.” “To.”

— Gail Carriger

55. “Which was why, some six hours later, Alexia Maccon’s daughter was born inside the head of an octomaton in the presence of her husband, a comatose werewolf dandy, and a French inventor.”

— Gail Carriger

56. “And atop the wolf, looking as dignified and butlerlike as might be possible for a man riding a werewolf, was Floote. Alexia.”

— Gail Carriger

57. “The bowl landed, in glorious perfection, atop the head of Mrs Barnaclegoose, who was not the kind of woman to appreciate the finer points of being crowned by trifle.”

— Gail Carriger

58. “Tonight I crash an airship. On purpose.”

— Gail Carriger

59. “We simply must convince them that pishtacos are the latest and greatest diet scheme ever, and the local Californians will welcome them with open arms.”

— Gail Carriger

60. “Felicity and Evylin were both quite beautiful: pale insipid blondes with wide blue eyes and small rosebud mouths. Sadly, like their dear mama, they were not much more substantive than “quite beautiful.”

— Gail Carriger

61. “The dirigible came to rest as lightly as a butterfly on an egg, if the butterfly were to stumble a bit and list heavily to one side and the egg to take on the peculiar characteristics of Scotland in winter: more soggy and more gray than one would think possible.”

— Gail Carriger

62. “His lordship can eat my fat –.”

— Gail Carriger

63. “It’ll all end in tears and coal dust, you see if it doesn’t.”

— Gail Carriger

64. “Her hair was wild, her eyes were flashing, and her tattered underskirts floated around her. She looked like a glorious avenging goddess from some ancient erotic myth.”

— Gail Carriger

65. “The voice was low and tinged with a hint of Scotland. It would have caused Alexia to shiver and think primal monkey thoughts about moons and running far and fast, if she’d had a soul. Instead it caused her to sigh in exasperation and sit up.”

— Gail Carriger

66. “My petal. Westminster’s toy had tea issues. Thank Biffy and Lyall. Toodle pip. A.”

— Gail Carriger

67. “But I don’t want to be a vampire drone.′ Sophronia winced. ‘They’ll suck my blood and make me wear only the very latest fashions.”

— Gail Carriger

68. “Cats liked to occupy liminal spaces: both inside and outside, both tame and wild, both yawn and meow.”

— Gail Carriger

69. “Chasing ghosts while pursued by daemons...”

— Gail Carriger

70. “A lady must always be prepared. Snacks are an essential part of espionage.” Sophronia.”

— Gail Carriger

71. “She’d had it painted, and planted, and primped, and festooned, and draped to within an inch of its very long life. But it was asking too much of the poor thing. The result was something akin to dressing a bulldog up like an opera dancer. Underneath the tulle, it was still a bowlegged bulldog.”

— Gail Carriger

72. “Everyone’s secrets are coming to light tonight, thought Sophronia, wondering how she had missed this little facet of inter-teacher dynamics.”

— Gail Carriger

73. “Knives can be quite useful to a lady of quality. Swords are for men; they are too easily caught in the skirts.”

— Gail Carriger

74. “Dirigibles were all well and good if one wanted to waft about the countryside, taking in views. Gavin wanted his tea. And not to have to kill Lady Villentia. But tea first. The.”

— Gail Carriger

75. “He wants to know why my marks aren’t better. Why I don’t speak fluent French. Why I can’t kill a fully grown man with a nutcracker.”

— Gail Carriger

76. “She took a moment to lament her lack of parasol. Every time she left the house, she felt keenly the absence of her heretofore ubiquitous accessory.”

— Gail Carriger

77. “Great, Alexia thought, I have gone from soul sucker to electrical ground. The epithets just get sweeter and sweeter.”

— Gail Carriger

78. “I have always preferred isolation. Less chance of betrayal. Occasionally, as I get older, I wonder if perhaps it might once have been worth the risk.”

— Gail Carriger

79. “There are words to describe her, my dear, but one does not repeat them in polite company.”

— Gail Carriger

80. “The more Lord Maccon considered it, the more he grew to like the idea. Certainly his imagination was full of pictures of what he and Alexia might do together once he got her home in a properly wedded state, but now those lusty images were mixing with others: waking up next to her, seeing her across the dining table, discussing science and politics, having her advice on points of pack controversy and BUR difficulties.”

— Gail Carriger

81. “She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappropriate future moment.”

— Gail Carriger

82. “These things, regrettably, are bound to occur when one is married and befriended.”

— Gail Carriger

83. “How did we go from tea to death so quickly?” wondered Quesnel. “Sometimes,” said Prim darkly, “there is a very fine line between the two.” “There’s.”

— Gail Carriger

84. “So this pesto I enjoy so much is really an infamous Italian antisupernatural weapon?′ Alexia turned accusing dark eyes on Madame Lefoux. ‘Yet there is no pesto in my parasol armament. I think we ought to rectify that immediately.”

— Gail Carriger

85. “The tea, once it arrived, had its customary effect – engendering comfort and loosening the tongue. That’s tea for you, thought Sophronia, the great social lubricant.”

— Gail Carriger

86. “I could say it was a pleasure to meet you, Major Channing, but I would not wish to perjure myself so early in the evening.”

— Gail Carriger

87. “Ivy was particularly adept at being ignorant but could cause extensive havoc with the smallest scrap of information.”

— Gail Carriger

88. “We realy must work on our communitcation. Perhaps if you were not so constantly intrested in other forms of intimacy, I might actually have access to the information I need to survive with my temper intact!” Alexia poked at him with a sharp finger. “More talk, less bed sport.”

— Gail Carriger

89. “Listen to me, my deadly little pearl. Choose love. Always choose love. If the decision is between love and anything else, choose love.” “And.”

— Gail Carriger

90. “Stupid little boys should learn to use guns and not wave them around.”

— Gail Carriger

91. “If there is gossip to be garnered, garner it. If there are new dress styles to be imitated, imitate them. If there are hearts to be broken, break them. That’s my girls.”

— Gail Carriger

92. “I suspect it may be like the difference between a drinker and an alcoholic; the one merely reads books, the other needs books to make it through the day.”

— Gail Carriger

93. “Lord Maccon, being Lord Maccon and good at such things, then changed, right there in the Thames, from dog-paddling wolf to large man treading water. He did so flawlessly, so that his head never went under the water. Professor Lyall suspected him of practicing such maneuvers in the bathtub.”

— Gail Carriger

94. “She was so beautiful it hurt, like breathing deep on an icy evening. She was all exotically strong features, tea-with-milk complexion, and long, thick dark hair. It was most upsetting, or would have been, if she hadn’t been so nice about it.”

— Gail Carriger

95. “Evil genius-ness was like that – showy.”

— Gail Carriger

96. “Very well, Miss Temminnick. Tell me a little about yourself. Are you well-educated?” Sophronia considered this question seriously. “I don’t believe so.” “Excellent. Ignorance is most undervalued in a student. And have you killed anyone recently?” Sophronia blinked. “Pardon?” “Oh, you know, a knife to the neck, or perhaps a cleverly noosed cravat?” Sophronia said only, “Not my preferred diversion.” “Oh, dear, how disappointing. Well, don’t you fret. We shall soon find you some useful hobby.”

— Gail Carriger

97. “Professor Lyall said, “His lordship did say something about dealing with an embarrassing family emergency.” “Am I not family?” wondered Lady Maccon. To which Lyall muttered under his breath, “And often embarrassing.”

— Gail Carriger

98. “Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?”

— Gail Carriger

99. “As Dimity said, “Sidheag surely does grumpy old man very well for a sixteen-year-old girl.”

— Gail Carriger

100. “How exciting. I adore impertinent questions. Ask away!”

— Gail Carriger