Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “How did we go from tea to death so quickly?”

— Gail Carriger

102. “He might have lost his mind, but never his fashion sense.”

— Gail Carriger

103. “She was so beautiful it hurt, like breathing deep on an icy evening. She was all exotically strong features, tea-with-milk complexion, and long, thick dark hair. It was most upsetting, or would have been, if she hadn’t been so nice about it.”

— Gail Carriger

104. “Scotsmen, she had occasion to observe, often did have nice knees. Perhaps that was why they insisted upon kilts.”

— Gail Carriger

105. “No one at the table was surprised. They were old hats at this kind of thing. Perhaps not old hats, but instead, they were last season’s gloves, soiled but still suited to any occasion, including inclement weather and dead body disposal.”

— Gail Carriger

106. “He is clearly bookish. I did not follow a single word of their conversation at dinner last night, not one jot of it. He must be bookish.”

— Gail Carriger

107. “But like all outsiders in good faith with the establishment, they tended to forget their revolutionary roots and side with the establishment.”

— Gail Carriger

108. “A man’s virility is in his beard,” he insisted.”

— Gail Carriger

109. “Ivy returned his direct gaze with a particularly innocent smile. “The great advantage,” she said, “of being thought silly, is that people forget and begin to think one might also be foolish. I may, Professor Lyall, be a trifle enthusiastic in my manner and dress, but I am no fool.”

— Gail Carriger

110. “Madame Lefoux accepted a cup of tea and sat on another little settee, next to the relocated calico cat. The cat clearly believed Madame Lefoux was there to provide chin scratches. Madame Lefoux provided.”

— Gail Carriger

111. “I’ve brought you Byron – always makes things better.”

— Gail Carriger

112. “As if being a former vampire drone in a werewolf household were not shocking enough, the maid then opened her mouth and proved that she was also, quite reprehensibly, French.”

— Gail Carriger

113. “Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?”

— Gail Carriger

114. “Oh, Alexia. I do not mean to be forward, but I really must venture: I simply loathe Mr. Tunstell.”

— Gail Carriger

115. “How often have I warned you against fraternizing with technology?”

— Gail Carriger

116. “Yet he moved toward her, darkly shimmering out of the library shadows with feeding fangs ready. However, the moment he touched Miss Tarabotti, he was suddenly no longer darkly doing anything at all. He was simply standing there, the faint sounds of a string quartet in the background as he foolishly fished about with his tongue for fangs unaccountably mislaid.”

— Gail Carriger

117. “After every unladylike action, there must be an equal and opposite reaction. Consider the necessary, analyze the consequences, clean up the mess.”

— Gail Carriger

118. “His eyes are peculiar. There is nothing in them, like an eclair without the cream filling. It’s wrong, lack of cream.”

— Gail Carriger

119. “Petunia Temminnick’s coming-out ball was pronounced a resounding success by all in attendance. There had been highly intoxicating punch, a variety of dances, good music, and intermission entertainment. No one knew why the beautiful Miss Pelouse had stripped, rolled about in the garden, and then chucked a cheese pie at the youngest Temminnick girl before being taken away in floods of tears, but it was surely the highlight of a most enjoyable evening.”

— Gail Carriger

120. “We like the shadows. That’s where all the power is.”

— Gail Carriger

121. “Oh my goodness, are those kilts? I’ve never seen them outside the history books. They are an appealing fashion statement, aren’t they?” Rue could not help but agree–after all, how often did one get to admire a gentleman’s knees in polite society?”

— Gail Carriger

122. “So this pesto I enjoy so much is really an infamous Italian antisupernatural weapon?”

— Gail Carriger

123. “Not a lot could stop an infantry in full march, but Rue supposed she was now one of the few to claim that dubious honour. If only some of the now conquered lands had known–naked aristocrats is all it takes.”

— Gail Carriger

124. “Only in a library did she feel completely capable of collecting her finer feelings and recuperating from such a wearying day.”

— Gail Carriger

125. “I may be a werewolf and Scottish, but despite what you may have read about both, we are not cads!”

— Gail Carriger

126. “He could not stand Alexia Tarabotti, even if her lovely brown eyes twinkled when she laughed, and she smelled good, and she had a particularly splendid figure.”

— Gail Carriger

127. “The Earl of Woolsey glared at her. “Cheap clothing is no excuse for killing a man.” “Mmm, that’s what you say.”

— Gail Carriger

128. “As a concerned friend, I really ought to check on her emotional state.” “How ghastly for her,” said Alexia, driven beyond endurance into comment. “People actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.”

— Gail Carriger

129. “Lord Akeldama never did anything by halves, especially if he might double it at three times the expense.”

— Gail Carriger

130. “There was, currently, far more hairy masculinity in her life than any Englishwoman should really have to put up with on a monthly basis. That said, half the pack was away fighting in northern India; someday there would be even more full-moon maleness. She thought of her husband; him she had to deal with on a daily basis.”

— Gail Carriger

131. “Out with it.” She let impatience colour her words. She couldn’t think of any cockney slang for getting a man to open his saucebox.”

— Gail Carriger

132. “Well, do be careful, my love. Poetry can cause irreparable harm when misapplied.”

— Gail Carriger

133. “Rafe was still obviously a predator, large and fierce and deadly. But there were humans like that too, and he’d found a group of them in a corner. Rough, ready, angry men, cracked like leather beneath the weight of the world’s use. Standing with them, Rafe could still be one of the things that went bump in the night, just closer to home. The world hid all kinds of monsters – some had too many teeth and some had too much gin.”

— Gail Carriger

134. “I have died and gone to the land of bad novels,” was Squire Loontwill’s response. “I am ill-equipped to cope with such an occurrence.”

— Gail Carriger

135. “Biffy said, off the cuff, “Or we could find a replacement queen.” “Volunteering for the position?” “Why, Professor, is that wittiness I detect?” “Only for you.” “Charmer.” Biffy tapped him on the arm playfully.”

— Gail Carriger

136. “He shook his head, glanced at Alexia in shock, let go of her bottom, stared at his own hand as though accusing it of independent action, and then looked thoroughly ashamed of himself.”

— Gail Carriger

137. “The formidable Lord and Lady Maccon were both prone to yelling loudly and bashing the noggins of those whose opinions did not mesh with theirs.”

— Gail Carriger

138. “Where were the scientific pamphlets that taught a woman how to listen to herself die?”

— Gail Carriger

139. “What she said was “I want a man who stays out of my way.”

— Gail Carriger

140. “As much as she was enjoying it, Dimity would always rather talk about reading than actually read.”

— Gail Carriger

141. “As a general rule, Lord Maccon appreciated a voluptuous woman. He liked a bit of meat on the female form, more to grab on to – and more to chew off.”

— Gail Carriger

142. “With a resigned shrug, she screamed and collapsed into a faint. She stayed resolutely fainted, despite the liberal application of smelling salts, which made her eyes water most tremendously, a cramp in the back of one knee, and the fact that her new ball gown was getting most awfully wrinkled.”

— Gail Carriger

143. “Please don’t. When you think about things, Sophronia, they only get more complicated. This thing between us could be so very easy, if you let it.”

— Gail Carriger

144. “My Hallway” remarked Lord Akeldama,“Has never seen such lively action. And That, my sugarplums, is saying something!”

— Gail Carriger

145. “A woman, even a married woman, cannot float without proper escort. It is simply not done.”

— Gail Carriger

146. “Lord Maccon asked meekly, shifting against her in a manner that ensured she realized the nibbling had affected his outsides just as much as her insides. Alexia was partly shocked, partly intrigued by the idea that as he was naked, she might actually get to see what he looked like. She had seen sketches of the nude male, of course, for purely technical purposes. She was given to wonder if werewolves were anatomically bigger in certain areas.”

— Gail Carriger

147. “We’re a team like tea and milk, or cake and custard, or pork and apple.”

— Gail Carriger

148. “Strange place, that overseas land, where religion and wealth did the talking and history and age held so little sway.”

— Gail Carriger

149. “Sister Mattie could be rather fatalistic at times; it was why she was such a good poisoning instructor. Death, felt Sister Mattie, must come to everyone in the end. Sometimes it simply required a little help.”

— Gail Carriger

150. “All were annoyed with life, except, of course, those who were dead. The werewolves stacked them neatly in three piles – dead, not dead, and snack-sized.”

— Gail Carriger