Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2025 Update)
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101. “Vampires hated to lose blood – it was troublesome to replace and always left a stain.”

— Gail Carriger

102. “A girl wearing a wicker chicken and playing the harp bopped me with a book about buns and then stuffed me under a piano.”

— Gail Carriger

103. “He wielded verbal italics as if they were capable of actual bodily harm.”

— Gail Carriger

104. “How did we go from tea to death so quickly?”

— Gail Carriger

105. “He might have lost his mind, but never his fashion sense.”

— Gail Carriger

106. “So this pesto I enjoy so much is really an infamous Italian antisupernatural weapon?”

— Gail Carriger

107. “Scotsmen, she had occasion to observe, often did have nice knees. Perhaps that was why they insisted upon kilts.”

— Gail Carriger

108. “No one at the table was surprised. They were old hats at this kind of thing. Perhaps not old hats, but instead, they were last season’s gloves, soiled but still suited to any occasion, including inclement weather and dead body disposal.”

— Gail Carriger

109. “Lord Akeldama never did anything by halves, especially if he might double it at three times the expense.”

— Gail Carriger

110. “He is clearly bookish. I did not follow a single word of their conversation at dinner last night, not one jot of it. He must be bookish.”

— Gail Carriger

111. “But like all outsiders in good faith with the establishment, they tended to forget their revolutionary roots and side with the establishment.”

— Gail Carriger

112. “A man’s virility is in his beard,” he insisted.”

— Gail Carriger

113. “Ivy returned his direct gaze with a particularly innocent smile. “The great advantage,” she said, “of being thought silly, is that people forget and begin to think one might also be foolish. I may, Professor Lyall, be a trifle enthusiastic in my manner and dress, but I am no fool.”

— Gail Carriger

114. “Madame Lefoux accepted a cup of tea and sat on another little settee, next to the relocated calico cat. The cat clearly believed Madame Lefoux was there to provide chin scratches. Madame Lefoux provided.”

— Gail Carriger

115. “I’ve brought you Byron – always makes things better.”

— Gail Carriger

116. “As if being a former vampire drone in a werewolf household were not shocking enough, the maid then opened her mouth and proved that she was also, quite reprehensibly, French.”

— Gail Carriger

117. “Oh, Alexia. I do not mean to be forward, but I really must venture: I simply loathe Mr. Tunstell.”

— Gail Carriger

118. “How often have I warned you against fraternizing with technology?”

— Gail Carriger

119. “Yet he moved toward her, darkly shimmering out of the library shadows with feeding fangs ready. However, the moment he touched Miss Tarabotti, he was suddenly no longer darkly doing anything at all. He was simply standing there, the faint sounds of a string quartet in the background as he foolishly fished about with his tongue for fangs unaccountably mislaid.”

— Gail Carriger

120. “A woman, even a married woman, cannot float without proper escort. It is simply not done.”

— Gail Carriger

121. “We’re a team like tea and milk, or cake and custard, or pork and apple.”

— Gail Carriger

122. “After every unladylike action, there must be an equal and opposite reaction. Consider the necessary, analyze the consequences, clean up the mess.”

— Gail Carriger

123. “His eyes are peculiar. There is nothing in them, like an eclair without the cream filling. It’s wrong, lack of cream.”

— Gail Carriger

124. “Petunia Temminnick’s coming-out ball was pronounced a resounding success by all in attendance. There had been highly intoxicating punch, a variety of dances, good music, and intermission entertainment. No one knew why the beautiful Miss Pelouse had stripped, rolled about in the garden, and then chucked a cheese pie at the youngest Temminnick girl before being taken away in floods of tears, but it was surely the highlight of a most enjoyable evening.”

— Gail Carriger

125. “We like the shadows. That’s where all the power is.”

— Gail Carriger

126. “Oh my goodness, are those kilts? I’ve never seen them outside the history books. They are an appealing fashion statement, aren’t they?” Rue could not help but agree–after all, how often did one get to admire a gentleman’s knees in polite society?”

— Gail Carriger

127. “Not a lot could stop an infantry in full march, but Rue supposed she was now one of the few to claim that dubious honour. If only some of the now conquered lands had known–naked aristocrats is all it takes.”

— Gail Carriger

128. “Such poopitations of the heart as you would not believe.”

— Gail Carriger

129. “Only in a library did she feel completely capable of collecting her finer feelings and recuperating from such a wearying day.”

— Gail Carriger

130. “I may be a werewolf and Scottish, but despite what you may have read about both, we are not cads!”

— Gail Carriger

131. “He could not stand Alexia Tarabotti, even if her lovely brown eyes twinkled when she laughed, and she smelled good, and she had a particularly splendid figure.”

— Gail Carriger

132. “The Earl of Woolsey glared at her. “Cheap clothing is no excuse for killing a man.” “Mmm, that’s what you say.”

— Gail Carriger

133. “As a concerned friend, I really ought to check on her emotional state.” “How ghastly for her,” said Alexia, driven beyond endurance into comment. “People actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.”

— Gail Carriger

134. “There was, currently, far more hairy masculinity in her life than any Englishwoman should really have to put up with on a monthly basis. That said, half the pack was away fighting in northern India; someday there would be even more full-moon maleness. She thought of her husband; him she had to deal with on a daily basis.”

— Gail Carriger

135. “Out with it.” She let impatience colour her words. She couldn’t think of any cockney slang for getting a man to open his saucebox.”

— Gail Carriger

136. “Well, do be careful, my love. Poetry can cause irreparable harm when misapplied.”

— Gail Carriger

137. “You wrong me, Madame Lefoux. I never gossip. I observe. And then relay my observations to practically everyone.” The.”

— Gail Carriger

138. “Rafe was still obviously a predator, large and fierce and deadly. But there were humans like that too, and he’d found a group of them in a corner. Rough, ready, angry men, cracked like leather beneath the weight of the world’s use. Standing with them, Rafe could still be one of the things that went bump in the night, just closer to home. The world hid all kinds of monsters – some had too many teeth and some had too much gin.”

— Gail Carriger

139. “It takes a great deal of money to acquire a look of not having spent any at all.”

— Gail Carriger

140. “I have died and gone to the land of bad novels,” was Squire Loontwill’s response. “I am ill-equipped to cope with such an occurrence.”

— Gail Carriger

141. “Biffy said, off the cuff, “Or we could find a replacement queen.” “Volunteering for the position?” “Why, Professor, is that wittiness I detect?” “Only for you.” “Charmer.” Biffy tapped him on the arm playfully.”

— Gail Carriger

142. “He shook his head, glanced at Alexia in shock, let go of her bottom, stared at his own hand as though accusing it of independent action, and then looked thoroughly ashamed of himself.”

— Gail Carriger

143. “The formidable Lord and Lady Maccon were both prone to yelling loudly and bashing the noggins of those whose opinions did not mesh with theirs.”

— Gail Carriger

144. “Where were the scientific pamphlets that taught a woman how to listen to herself die?”

— Gail Carriger

145. “The burden of a spy, Lord Akeldama always said, was not in the knowing of things but in knowing when to tell such things to others.”

— Gail Carriger

146. “What she said was “I want a man who stays out of my way.”

— Gail Carriger

147. “She also had a French accent, which hundreds of years of animosity had trained nice young Englishwomen to suspect as evil.”

— Gail Carriger

148. “As much as she was enjoying it, Dimity would always rather talk about reading than actually read.”

— Gail Carriger

149. “As a general rule, Lord Maccon appreciated a voluptuous woman. He liked a bit of meat on the female form, more to grab on to – and more to chew off.”

— Gail Carriger

150. “With a resigned shrug, she screamed and collapsed into a faint. She stayed resolutely fainted, despite the liberal application of smelling salts, which made her eyes water most tremendously, a cramp in the back of one knee, and the fact that her new ball gown was getting most awfully wrinkled.”

— Gail Carriger