Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2026 Update)
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101. “How did we go from tea to death so quickly?”

— Gail Carriger

102. “As Dimity said, “Sidheag surely does grumpy old man very well for a sixteen-year-old girl.”

— Gail Carriger

103. “How exciting. I adore impertinent questions. Ask away!”

— Gail Carriger

104. “Scotsmen, she had occasion to observe, often did have nice knees. Perhaps that was why they insisted upon kilts.”

— Gail Carriger

105. “We like the shadows. That’s where all the power is.”

— Gail Carriger

106. “He is clearly bookish. I did not follow a single word of their conversation at dinner last night, not one jot of it. He must be bookish.”

— Gail Carriger

107. “A girl wearing a wicker chicken and playing the harp bopped me with a book about buns and then stuffed me under a piano.”

— Gail Carriger

108. “A woman, even a married woman, cannot float without proper escort. It is simply not done.”

— Gail Carriger

109. “Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?”

— Gail Carriger

110. “After every unladylike action, there must be an equal and opposite reaction. Consider the necessary, analyze the consequences, clean up the mess.”

— Gail Carriger

111. “Vampires hated to lose blood – it was troublesome to replace and always left a stain.”

— Gail Carriger

112. “No one at the table was surprised. They were old hats at this kind of thing. Perhaps not old hats, but instead, they were last season’s gloves, soiled but still suited to any occasion, including inclement weather and dead body disposal.”

— Gail Carriger

113. “He might have lost his mind, but never his fashion sense.”

— Gail Carriger

114. “As if being a former vampire drone in a werewolf household were not shocking enough, the maid then opened her mouth and proved that she was also, quite reprehensibly, French.”

— Gail Carriger

115. “I may be a werewolf and Scottish, but despite what you may have read about both, we are not cads!”

— Gail Carriger

116. “I’ve brought you Byron – always makes things better.”

— Gail Carriger

117. “But like all outsiders in good faith with the establishment, they tended to forget their revolutionary roots and side with the establishment.”

— Gail Carriger

118. “Out with it.” She let impatience colour her words. She couldn’t think of any cockney slang for getting a man to open his saucebox.”

— Gail Carriger

119. “Yet he moved toward her, darkly shimmering out of the library shadows with feeding fangs ready. However, the moment he touched Miss Tarabotti, he was suddenly no longer darkly doing anything at all. He was simply standing there, the faint sounds of a string quartet in the background as he foolishly fished about with his tongue for fangs unaccountably mislaid.”

— Gail Carriger

120. “He could not stand Alexia Tarabotti, even if her lovely brown eyes twinkled when she laughed, and she smelled good, and she had a particularly splendid figure.”

— Gail Carriger

121. “He was so very large and so very gruff that he rather terrified her, but he always behaved correctly in public, and there was a lot to be said for a man who sported such well-tailored jackets – even if he did change into a ferocious beast once a month.”

— Gail Carriger

122. “Petunia Temminnick’s coming-out ball was pronounced a resounding success by all in attendance. There had been highly intoxicating punch, a variety of dances, good music, and intermission entertainment. No one knew why the beautiful Miss Pelouse had stripped, rolled about in the garden, and then chucked a cheese pie at the youngest Temminnick girl before being taken away in floods of tears, but it was surely the highlight of a most enjoyable evening.”

— Gail Carriger

123. “Oh my goodness, are those kilts? I’ve never seen them outside the history books. They are an appealing fashion statement, aren’t they?” Rue could not help but agree–after all, how often did one get to admire a gentleman’s knees in polite society?”

— Gail Carriger

124. “Well, do be careful, my love. Poetry can cause irreparable harm when misapplied.”

— Gail Carriger

125. “Rafe was still obviously a predator, large and fierce and deadly. But there were humans like that too, and he’d found a group of them in a corner. Rough, ready, angry men, cracked like leather beneath the weight of the world’s use. Standing with them, Rafe could still be one of the things that went bump in the night, just closer to home. The world hid all kinds of monsters – some had too many teeth and some had too much gin.”

— Gail Carriger

126. “We’re a team like tea and milk, or cake and custard, or pork and apple.”

— Gail Carriger

127. “Also, I ken you have a good heart. ‘Tis thoroughly hidden, but ’tis good.” “For pity’s sake, don’t tell anyone. My reputation will be in ruins.”

— Gail Carriger

128. “Oh, Alexia. I do not mean to be forward, but I really must venture: I simply loathe Mr. Tunstell.”

— Gail Carriger

129. “Ivy returned his direct gaze with a particularly innocent smile. “The great advantage,” she said, “of being thought silly, is that people forget and begin to think one might also be foolish. I may, Professor Lyall, be a trifle enthusiastic in my manner and dress, but I am no fool.”

— Gail Carriger

130. “Madame Lefoux accepted a cup of tea and sat on another little settee, next to the relocated calico cat. The cat clearly believed Madame Lefoux was there to provide chin scratches. Madame Lefoux provided.”

— Gail Carriger

131. “Not a lot could stop an infantry in full march, but Rue supposed she was now one of the few to claim that dubious honour. If only some of the now conquered lands had known–naked aristocrats is all it takes.”

— Gail Carriger

132. “There was, currently, far more hairy masculinity in her life than any Englishwoman should really have to put up with on a monthly basis. That said, half the pack was away fighting in northern India; someday there would be even more full-moon maleness. She thought of her husband; him she had to deal with on a daily basis.”

— Gail Carriger

133. “How often have I warned you against fraternizing with technology?”

— Gail Carriger

134. “The Earl of Woolsey glared at her. “Cheap clothing is no excuse for killing a man.” “Mmm, that’s what you say.”

— Gail Carriger

135. “As a concerned friend, I really ought to check on her emotional state.” “How ghastly for her,” said Alexia, driven beyond endurance into comment. “People actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.”

— Gail Carriger

136. “Only in a library did she feel completely capable of collecting her finer feelings and recuperating from such a wearying day.”

— Gail Carriger

137. “Such poopitations of the heart as you would not believe.”

— Gail Carriger

138. “A man’s virility is in his beard,” he insisted.”

— Gail Carriger

139. “His eyes are peculiar. There is nothing in them, like an eclair without the cream filling. It’s wrong, lack of cream.”

— Gail Carriger

140. “You wrong me, Madame Lefoux. I never gossip. I observe. And then relay my observations to practically everyone.” The.”

— Gail Carriger

141. “Lord Maccon asked meekly, shifting against her in a manner that ensured she realized the nibbling had affected his outsides just as much as her insides. Alexia was partly shocked, partly intrigued by the idea that as he was naked, she might actually get to see what he looked like. She had seen sketches of the nude male, of course, for purely technical purposes. She was given to wonder if werewolves were anatomically bigger in certain areas.”

— Gail Carriger

142. “Sister Mattie could be rather fatalistic at times; it was why she was such a good poisoning instructor. Death, felt Sister Mattie, must come to everyone in the end. Sometimes it simply required a little help.”

— Gail Carriger

143. “My Hallway” remarked Lord Akeldama,“Has never seen such lively action. And That, my sugarplums, is saying something!”

— Gail Carriger

144. “I never read if I can help it. It is terribly bad for the eyes. And it causes one’s forehead to wrinkle most horribly, just there.”

— Gail Carriger

145. “As much as she was enjoying it, Dimity would always rather talk about reading than actually read.”

— Gail Carriger

146. “As a general rule, Lord Maccon appreciated a voluptuous woman. He liked a bit of meat on the female form, more to grab on to – and more to chew off.”

— Gail Carriger

147. “Perhaps to the north? I hear Scotland is lovely this time of year.” “Are you barmy? Scotland is wholly abysmal this time of year.”

— Gail Carriger

148. “He shook his head, glanced at Alexia in shock, let go of her bottom, stared at his own hand as though accusing it of independent action, and then looked thoroughly ashamed of himself.”

— Gail Carriger

149. “The formidable Lord and Lady Maccon were both prone to yelling loudly and bashing the noggins of those whose opinions did not mesh with theirs.”

— Gail Carriger

150. “Biffy said, off the cuff, “Or we could find a replacement queen.” “Volunteering for the position?” “Why, Professor, is that wittiness I detect?” “Only for you.” “Charmer.” Biffy tapped him on the arm playfully.”

— Gail Carriger