Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2025 Update)
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251. “Rue was not above fabricating fate, if it would not be tempted.”

— Gail Carriger

252. “Trust is a lot to ask of someone.”

— Gail Carriger

253. “And so we glide in on the wisps of receding fog, emerging out of the white with the rays of the dying sun highlighting all our puffy majesty.′ Dimity was moved by loss to muttering poetic twaddle.”

— Gail Carriger

254. “Miss Tarabotti pinched him for such blatant innuendo. It did not matter where she pinched, as the earl was a bare canvas of pinchability.”

— Gail Carriger

255. “I assure you, Lord Maccon, I am not the kind of girl to around hallucinating hedgehogs all willy-nilly. And I resent that you should think so.”

— Gail Carriger

256. “Professor Lyall, cursing his Alpha for departing so precipitously, balled up the piece of paper and, after minor consideration for the delicacy of the information it contained, ate it.”

— Gail Carriger

257. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger

258. “Alexia found her voice. “Couldn’t I just whack him once? Just a little one, over the head? He would hardly notice.”

— Gail Carriger

259. “The redhead whispered, “No, what’s a man like down there?” “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.” Sophronia blinked in surprise. That sounded worse than Sidheag’s description of a werewolf shift.”

— Gail Carriger

260. “I’m Scottish,” as if that would explain everything. The duke nodded, as if it did. “Yes, well, we can’t all be from the right side of the country. Would.”

— Gail Carriger

261. “He wore a tweed suit, of all horrible things, and a cravat tied with such carelessness it was almost as much a sin as his actions.”

— Gail Carriger

262. “Poetry can cause irreparable harm when misapplied.”

— Gail Carriger

263. “Silence descended while they all analysed her words for hidden meaning. They were lost because there was none. Simplicity of truth and purpose was rare in their world. Arsenic wanted her mark of existence to be kind. She didn’t think there was anything wrong or less powerful about that choice.”

— Gail Carriger

264. “You know vampires and solicitors – practically indistinguishable.”

— Gail Carriger

265. “Can’t you tell from the hair and the cheekbones? Humans don’t grow that beautiful. Not outside of Denmark, anyway.”

— Gail Carriger

266. “Also, I ken you have a good heart. ‘Tis thoroughly hidden, but ’tis good.” “For pity’s sake, don’t tell anyone. My reputation will be in ruins.”

— Gail Carriger

267. “And, my darlingest of puggles, she is yours to command.” Rue was moved to italics by the gesture. “Mine?”

— Gail Carriger

268. “Professor Braithwope, shimmering out of his room fully clothed and dapper. His mustache was a fluffy caterpillar of curiosity, perched and ready to inquire, dragging the vampire along behind it on the investigation.”

— Gail Carriger

269. “The Earl of Woolsey was indeed completely nude. He did not seem particularly perturbed by this fact, but Miss Tarabotti felt the sudden need to close her eyes tight and think about asparagus or something equally mundane.”

— Gail Carriger

270. “There was no way she was staying trapped with tea at a time like this.”

— Gail Carriger

271. “Gavin tried not to stare at the lobster. He decided not to inquire further. Whatever Jack’s reasoning, best to accept that crustaceans were necessary to his view of the world.”

— Gail Carriger

272. “Fifteen minutes later, what she got was the most remarkable thing she had ever seen in her life. And Rue had once witnessed a whole party of American tourists actually refuse to drink tea, in a London teahouse, so that’s saying something. The.”

— Gail Carriger

273. “She felt, in fact, very absent from herself. Adrift, as if nothing might bring her back again. Not even tea.”

— Gail Carriger

274. “He has been mad for you these many months, ever since you prodded him in the nether regions with a hedgehog.”

— Gail Carriger

275. “Footwear, after all, was a serious commitment.”

— Gail Carriger

276. “Rue was a romantic. Her parents were a love match. Had to be, for there was no other possible explanation for them tolerating one another. Thus Rue held the very peculiar opinion that love made for a most agreeable form of companionship.”

— Gail Carriger

277. “After four marriages, and four deaths, she had everything in life a woman might desire: titled position, swollen coffers, the freedom to travel, and a world that accepted her because it was afraid of her.”

— Gail Carriger

278. “And I find perfect beauty excessively boring, don’t you?”

— Gail Carriger

279. “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.”

— Gail Carriger

280. “The werewolf hit the exsanguination chamber in a vicious storm of fang and claw and began unceremoniously tearing everything apart. Including the scientists.”

— Gail Carriger

281. “Do you know?” “Do I know what?” “If they need more water.” “No, I don’t. You might ask a farmer.” “Don’t be ridiculous. There must be a book on the subject.”

— Gail Carriger

282. “Dewan ex machina.”

— Gail Carriger

283. “The French inventor told the acting troupe about Lord Maccon’s death.”

— Gail Carriger

284. “Shut your cake hole, you revolting young blot.”

— Gail Carriger

285. “If we provide the right incentive, all things are possible, even perfection.”

— Gail Carriger

286. “One could not blame a people for disliking vampires. Vampires were like brussels sprouts – not for everyone and impossible to improve upon with sauce.”

— Gail Carriger

287. “A ball, at last!” Dimity Plumleigh-Teignmott sank back into her chair in delight.”

— Gail Carriger

288. “Pretty as a pineapple,” pronounced.”

— Gail Carriger

289. “It’s simply, gentlemen” – and when she raised her dark eyes they had a slight sheen in them – “I would so like something useful to do.”

— Gail Carriger

290. “His eyes were jet-colored circles of perpetual disapproval.”

— Gail Carriger

291. “Her heart was beating a marathon somewhere in the region of her throat, her skin felt hot and stretched taut over her bones, and she was damp in places she was tolerably certain unmarried gentlewomen were not supposed to be damp in.”

— Gail Carriger

292. “It didn’t feel sporting to shoot at a crazy person, even if that person was a vampire who’d agreed to the job.”

— Gail Carriger

293. “Death can be jolly well inconvenient, if you ask me.”

— Gail Carriger

294. “Desperately Dimity mentioned badminton. I mean to say, who doesn’t have opinions on badminton? Everyone has opinions on badminton.”

— Gail Carriger

295. “She had to give her teachers credit: they were right to insist all pupils carry scissors, handkerchiefs, perfume and hair ribbons at all times. At some point she’d learn why they also required a red lace doily and a lemon.”

— Gail Carriger

296. “Truth be told, even with Sophronia’s arm muscles, vampires could hurl her a great deal farther than Sophronia could hurl vampires. A great tragedy of life, no doubt. The.”

— Gail Carriger

297. “Rue gave a little mental sigh. No one would ever describe her as deadly attractive. She brightened a bit. Perhaps she could aspire to just deadly?”

— Gail Carriger

298. “The Pistons were partly distracted by this short but excitingly fiery chase, and partly distracted by a new threat in the form of a small but enraged Dimity. Dimity, bless her heart, was reciting one of Mademoiselle Geraldine’s longest lectures on proper behavior at a dance, finger shaking in autocratic fury, Lord Dingleproops notwithstanding.”

— Gail Carriger

299. “He figured someday he might win an argument with this extraordinary woman, but clearly today was not that day. “Did.”

— Gail Carriger

300. “Ooh, ooh, ooh!” Ivy was practically bouncing in excitement over some kind of revelation. “I had a thought,” she said, examining the edge of the wooden stake with interest. “Oh, yes?” encouraged Alexia loudly. Ivy stopped and frowned, her pert little face creased in worry. “I said I had one. It appears to have vanished.”

— Gail Carriger