Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2024 Update)
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251. “I suppose that saves us from having to determine what to do with a butler who goes around killing people. It certainly reflects badly upon our domestic staff. Still, I shall miss him. There was a man who knew how to brew a good cup of tea.”

— Gail Carriger

252. “Lord Maccon reflected upon the state of his life wherein he had somehow gained a spouse who could not give a pig’s foot for the latest dresses out of Paris but who whined about not owning an aethographic transmitter. Well, at least the two were comparable obsessions so far as expense was concerned.”

— Gail Carriger

253. “Someone was trying to kill Lady Alexia Maccon. It was most inconvenient, as she was in a dreadful hurry.”

— Gail Carriger

254. “Can you imagine... the detrimental effect on your marriage prospects, to be found unchaperoned in a library with a dead vampire!”

— Gail Carriger

255. “Where does one purchase a mustache in London? Fleet Street?”

— Gail Carriger

256. “Alexia wondered what it said about her character that Ivy had genuinely believed she would intentionally go climbing about the side of a floating dirigible.”

— Gail Carriger

257. “Lyall understood a broken heart, but it could not be allowed to rumple perfectly good shirtwaists.”

— Gail Carriger

258. “Even Alexia, spinster that she was, was given an allowance large enough to dress her to the height of fashion – although she did tend to stick to trends a little too precisely. The poor thing could not help it. Her choice of clothing simply lacked soul.”

— Gail Carriger

259. “I have always been hers. Although she is taking her time accepting it.” “I.”

— Gail Carriger

260. “Rue was not above fabricating fate, if it would not be tempted.”

— Gail Carriger

261. “Trust is a lot to ask of someone.”

— Gail Carriger

262. “And so we glide in on the wisps of receding fog, emerging out of the white with the rays of the dying sun highlighting all our puffy majesty.′ Dimity was moved by loss to muttering poetic twaddle.”

— Gail Carriger

263. “Miss Tarabotti pinched him for such blatant innuendo. It did not matter where she pinched, as the earl was a bare canvas of pinchability.”

— Gail Carriger

264. “Professor Lyall, cursing his Alpha for departing so precipitously, balled up the piece of paper and, after minor consideration for the delicacy of the information it contained, ate it.”

— Gail Carriger

265. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger

266. “Alexia found her voice. “Couldn’t I just whack him once? Just a little one, over the head? He would hardly notice.”

— Gail Carriger

267. “The redhead whispered, “No, what’s a man like down there?” “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.” Sophronia blinked in surprise. That sounded worse than Sidheag’s description of a werewolf shift.”

— Gail Carriger

268. “I’m Scottish,” as if that would explain everything. The duke nodded, as if it did. “Yes, well, we can’t all be from the right side of the country. Would.”

— Gail Carriger

269. “He wore a tweed suit, of all horrible things, and a cravat tied with such carelessness it was almost as much a sin as his actions.”

— Gail Carriger

270. “Silence descended while they all analysed her words for hidden meaning. They were lost because there was none. Simplicity of truth and purpose was rare in their world. Arsenic wanted her mark of existence to be kind. She didn’t think there was anything wrong or less powerful about that choice.”

— Gail Carriger

271. “You know vampires and solicitors – practically indistinguishable.”

— Gail Carriger

272. “Lord Akeldama waggled a wrist limply in the air. “There is a sizable game in motion, my darlings. I depend upon you all to play it with your usual consummate skill.”

— Gail Carriger

273. “Can’t you tell from the hair and the cheekbones? Humans don’t grow that beautiful. Not outside of Denmark, anyway.”

— Gail Carriger

274. “Also, I ken you have a good heart. ‘Tis thoroughly hidden, but ’tis good.” “For pity’s sake, don’t tell anyone. My reputation will be in ruins.”

— Gail Carriger

275. “And, my darlingest of puggles, she is yours to command.” Rue was moved to italics by the gesture. “Mine?”

— Gail Carriger

276. “Professor Lyall puffed out his cheeks in exasperation. It was like trying to have a conversation with a distracted and very soggy scone. Every time he pushed in one direction the earl either oozed or crumbled.”

— Gail Carriger

277. “No, Lord Maccon was riproaring, tumble down, without a doubt, pickled beyond the gherkin.”

— Gail Carriger

278. “I had a recent delivery of new fashion plates from Paris, and you hardly glanced at the hairstyles. My husband tells me you are still having difficulty controlling the change. And your cravat has been tied very simply of late, even for evening events.”

— Gail Carriger

279. “Follow that porcupine!”

— Gail Carriger

280. “And I find perfect beauty excessively boring, don’t you?”

— Gail Carriger

281. “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.”

— Gail Carriger

282. “The werewolf hit the exsanguination chamber in a vicious storm of fang and claw and began unceremoniously tearing everything apart. Including the scientists.”

— Gail Carriger

283. “Do you know?” “Do I know what?” “If they need more water.” “No, I don’t. You might ask a farmer.” “Don’t be ridiculous. There must be a book on the subject.”

— Gail Carriger

284. “Dewan ex machina.”

— Gail Carriger

285. “The French inventor told the acting troupe about Lord Maccon’s death.”

— Gail Carriger

286. “Shut your cake hole, you revolting young blot.”

— Gail Carriger

287. “If we provide the right incentive, all things are possible, even perfection.”

— Gail Carriger

288. “One could not blame a people for disliking vampires. Vampires were like brussels sprouts – not for everyone and impossible to improve upon with sauce.”

— Gail Carriger

289. “A ball, at last!” Dimity Plumleigh-Teignmott sank back into her chair in delight.”

— Gail Carriger

290. “Pretty as a pineapple,” pronounced.”

— Gail Carriger

291. “It’s simply, gentlemen” – and when she raised her dark eyes they had a slight sheen in them – “I would so like something useful to do.”

— Gail Carriger

292. “His eyes were jet-colored circles of perpetual disapproval.”

— Gail Carriger

293. “Her heart was beating a marathon somewhere in the region of her throat, her skin felt hot and stretched taut over her bones, and she was damp in places she was tolerably certain unmarried gentlewomen were not supposed to be damp in.”

— Gail Carriger

294. “It didn’t feel sporting to shoot at a crazy person, even if that person was a vampire who’d agreed to the job.”

— Gail Carriger

295. “Death can be jolly well inconvenient, if you ask me.”

— Gail Carriger

296. “Desperately Dimity mentioned badminton. I mean to say, who doesn’t have opinions on badminton? Everyone has opinions on badminton.”

— Gail Carriger

297. “She had to give her teachers credit: they were right to insist all pupils carry scissors, handkerchiefs, perfume and hair ribbons at all times. At some point she’d learn why they also required a red lace doily and a lemon.”

— Gail Carriger

298. “Truth be told, even with Sophronia’s arm muscles, vampires could hurl her a great deal farther than Sophronia could hurl vampires. A great tragedy of life, no doubt. The.”

— Gail Carriger

299. “Rue gave a little mental sigh. No one would ever describe her as deadly attractive. She brightened a bit. Perhaps she could aspire to just deadly?”

— Gail Carriger

300. “The Pistons were partly distracted by this short but excitingly fiery chase, and partly distracted by a new threat in the form of a small but enraged Dimity. Dimity, bless her heart, was reciting one of Mademoiselle Geraldine’s longest lectures on proper behavior at a dance, finger shaking in autocratic fury, Lord Dingleproops notwithstanding.”

— Gail Carriger