Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2026 Update)
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251. “Alexia was rather strapping. He preferred her that way. Undersized women reminded him of yippy dogs.”

— Gail Carriger

252. “Yes?” Percy did not try to tame the grumpiness in his voice. He hated to be disturbed while he was reading. Of course, he was always reading, but that did not signify.”

— Gail Carriger

253. “I like fish,” chirruped Tunstell. Felicity drew his attention immediately back to herself. “Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?” “Well” – Tunstell hesitated – “you know, the um, ones that” – he made a swooping motion with both hands – “uh, swim.”

— Gail Carriger

254. “Even Alexia, spinster that she was, was given an allowance large enough to dress her to the height of fashion – although she did tend to stick to trends a little too precisely. The poor thing could not help it. Her choice of clothing simply lacked soul.”

— Gail Carriger

255. “Trust is a lot to ask of someone.”

— Gail Carriger

256. “Lyall understood a broken heart, but it could not be allowed to rumple perfectly good shirtwaists.”

— Gail Carriger

257. “He has been mad for you these many months, ever since you prodded him in the nether regions with a hedgehog.”

— Gail Carriger

Featured in: Romance Quotes

258. “Rue was a romantic. Her parents were a love match. Had to be, for there was no other possible explanation for them tolerating one another. Thus Rue held the very peculiar opinion that love made for a most agreeable form of companionship.”

— Gail Carriger

259. “After four marriages, and four deaths, she had everything in life a woman might desire: titled position, swollen coffers, the freedom to travel, and a world that accepted her because it was afraid of her.”

— Gail Carriger

Featured in: Romance Quotes

260. “And, my darlingest of puggles, she is yours to command.” Rue was moved to italics by the gesture. “Mine?”

— Gail Carriger

261. “Poetry can cause irreparable harm when misapplied.”

— Gail Carriger

262. “She investigated further: moving along with little kisses down his throat and over his collarbone until she came to the same location on his neck that on hers was currently a decorative black and blue color. She bit him. Hard. Alexia never did anything by halves.”

— Gail Carriger

Featured in: Romance Quotes

263. “Acknowledgements With grateful thanks to the three least-appreciated and hardest-working proselytizers of the written word: independent bookstores, librarians, and teachers.”

— Gail Carriger

264. “Lord Maccon believed that if his trousers were on his legs, and something else was on his torso, he was dressed. The less done after that, the better. His wife had been startled to find that in the summertime, he actually went around their room barefoot! Once – and only once, mind you – he even attempted to join her for tea in such a state. Impossible man. Alexia put a stop to that posthaste.”

— Gail Carriger

265. “Apparently, gentlemen not only liked to kiss and touch women everywhere, they did that and more, on a regular basis, and mostly not with ladies at all, but with women of less genteel breeding. Some gentlemen, her brothers had whispered, even did it with each other. Although this was considered quite uncouth, Sophronia gathered, once one left Eton.”

— Gail Carriger

266. “Biffy didn’t like enigmas – they were out of fashion.”

— Gail Carriger

267. “Lord Maccon reflected upon the state of his life wherein he had somehow gained a spouse who could not give a pig’s foot for the latest dresses out of Paris but who whined about not owning an aethographic transmitter. Well, at least the two were comparable obsessions so far as expense was concerned.”

— Gail Carriger

268. “There was no way she was staying trapped with tea at a time like this.”

— Gail Carriger

269. “Fifteen minutes later, what she got was the most remarkable thing she had ever seen in her life. And Rue had once witnessed a whole party of American tourists actually refuse to drink tea, in a London teahouse, so that’s saying something. The.”

— Gail Carriger

270. “Professor Braithwope, shimmering out of his room fully clothed and dapper. His mustache was a fluffy caterpillar of curiosity, perched and ready to inquire, dragging the vampire along behind it on the investigation.”

— Gail Carriger

271. “Algebra was far more interesting when it was a matter of proportioning out mutton chops so as to poison only half of one’s dinner guests and then determining the relative value of purchasing a more expensive, yet more effective, antidote over a home remedy.”

— Gail Carriger

272. “Gavin felt his request was greatly daring – her gun was still within reach.”

— Gail Carriger

273. “Alexia found her voice. “Couldn’t I just whack him once? Just a little one, over the head? He would hardly notice.”

— Gail Carriger

274. “He wore a tweed suit, of all horrible things, and a cravat tied with such carelessness it was almost as much a sin as his actions.”

— Gail Carriger

275. “Percy has a cat, named Footnote. Or as Virgil put it, Footnote has a human, named Percy.”

— Gail Carriger

276. “And so, for the first time, a gentleman is throwing me over. How unexpected. What sensation does this engender in me? Am I saddened? Is my heart crushed? No, that’s more likely hunger. It’s been ages since luncheon. Oh well.”

— Gail Carriger

277. “I have always been hers. Although she is taking her time accepting it.” “I.”

— Gail Carriger

278. “Rue was not above fabricating fate, if it would not be tempted.”

— Gail Carriger

279. “Alexia wondered what it said about her character that Ivy had genuinely believed she would intentionally go climbing about the side of a floating dirigible.”

— Gail Carriger

280. “Footwear, after all, was a serious commitment.”

— Gail Carriger

281. “If I don’t like it, I stop. Life’s too short to read a book that doesn’t entertain me.”

— Gail Carriger

282. “How was I to know idiocy was only a temporary condition, especially in your case? It never has been before!”

— Gail Carriger

283. “A ball, at last!” Dimity Plumleigh-Teignmott sank back into her chair in delight.”

— Gail Carriger

284. “Pretty as a pineapple,” pronounced.”

— Gail Carriger

285. “This is madness. Oh, well.”

— Gail Carriger

286. “The French inventor told the acting troupe about Lord Maccon’s death.”

— Gail Carriger

287. “Rue gave a little mental sigh. No one would ever describe her as deadly attractive. She brightened a bit. Perhaps she could aspire to just deadly?”

— Gail Carriger

288. “The Pistons were partly distracted by this short but excitingly fiery chase, and partly distracted by a new threat in the form of a small but enraged Dimity. Dimity, bless her heart, was reciting one of Mademoiselle Geraldine’s longest lectures on proper behavior at a dance, finger shaking in autocratic fury, Lord Dingleproops notwithstanding.”

— Gail Carriger

289. “Ooh, ooh, ooh!” Ivy was practically bouncing in excitement over some kind of revelation. “I had a thought,” she said, examining the edge of the wooden stake with interest. “Oh, yes?” encouraged Alexia loudly. Ivy stopped and frowned, her pert little face creased in worry. “I said I had one. It appears to have vanished.”

— Gail Carriger

290. “Desperately Dimity mentioned badminton. I mean to say, who doesn’t have opinions on badminton? Everyone has opinions on badminton.”

— Gail Carriger

291. “Professor Lyall puffed out his cheeks in exasperation. It was like trying to have a conversation with a distracted and very soggy scone. Every time he pushed in one direction the earl either oozed or crumbled.”

— Gail Carriger

292. “No, Lord Maccon was riproaring, tumble down, without a doubt, pickled beyond the gherkin.”

— Gail Carriger

293. “Her heart was beating a marathon somewhere in the region of her throat, her skin felt hot and stretched taut over her bones, and she was damp in places she was tolerably certain unmarried gentlewomen were not supposed to be damp in.”

— Gail Carriger

294. “It didn’t feel sporting to shoot at a crazy person, even if that person was a vampire who’d agreed to the job.”

— Gail Carriger

295. “Felix ran his hands through his dark hair, sounding like a resigned maiden aunt. ‘It’ll all end in tears and coal dust, you see if it doesn’t.”

— Gail Carriger

296. “If we provide the right incentive, all things are possible, even perfection.”

— Gail Carriger

297. “Do you know?” “Do I know what?” “If they need more water.” “No, I don’t. You might ask a farmer.” “Don’t be ridiculous. There must be a book on the subject.”

— Gail Carriger

298. “Truth be told, even with Sophronia’s arm muscles, vampires could hurl her a great deal farther than Sophronia could hurl vampires. A great tragedy of life, no doubt. The.”

— Gail Carriger

299. “Follow that porcupine!”

— Gail Carriger

300. “Tea is her answer to everything. I once broke my arm and she tried to give me Lapsang Souchong.”

— Gail Carriger