Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2024 Update)
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251. “Professor Lyall, cursing his Alpha for departing so precipitously, balled up the piece of paper and, after minor consideration for the delicacy of the information it contained, ate it.”

— Gail Carriger

252. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger

253. “Alexia found her voice. “Couldn’t I just whack him once? Just a little one, over the head? He would hardly notice.”

— Gail Carriger

254. “The redhead whispered, “No, what’s a man like down there?” “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.” Sophronia blinked in surprise. That sounded worse than Sidheag’s description of a werewolf shift.”

— Gail Carriger

255. “I’m Scottish,” as if that would explain everything. The duke nodded, as if it did. “Yes, well, we can’t all be from the right side of the country. Would.”

— Gail Carriger

256. “He wore a tweed suit, of all horrible things, and a cravat tied with such carelessness it was almost as much a sin as his actions.”

— Gail Carriger

257. “Just like a cat, to mould her environment to suit her whim.”

— Gail Carriger

258. “Silence descended while they all analysed her words for hidden meaning. They were lost because there was none. Simplicity of truth and purpose was rare in their world. Arsenic wanted her mark of existence to be kind. She didn’t think there was anything wrong or less powerful about that choice.”

— Gail Carriger

259. “He was not very big, mostly because he was not a very big human, and the basic principles of conservation of mass still applied whether supernatural or not. Werewolves had to obey the laws of physics just like everyone else.”

— Gail Carriger

260. “You know vampires and solicitors – practically indistinguishable.”

— Gail Carriger

261. “Lord Akeldama waggled a wrist limply in the air. “There is a sizable game in motion, my darlings. I depend upon you all to play it with your usual consummate skill.”

— Gail Carriger

262. “Can’t you tell from the hair and the cheekbones? Humans don’t grow that beautiful. Not outside of Denmark, anyway.”

— Gail Carriger

263. “Also, I ken you have a good heart. ‘Tis thoroughly hidden, but ’tis good.” “For pity’s sake, don’t tell anyone. My reputation will be in ruins.”

— Gail Carriger

264. “This is the time for obscure Italian mathematicians.”

— Gail Carriger

265. “And, my darlingest of puggles, she is yours to command.” Rue was moved to italics by the gesture. “Mine?”

— Gail Carriger

266. “The Earl of Woolsey was indeed completely nude. He did not seem particularly perturbed by this fact, but Miss Tarabotti felt the sudden need to close her eyes tight and think about asparagus or something equally mundane.”

— Gail Carriger

267. “There was no way she was staying trapped with tea at a time like this.”

— Gail Carriger

268. “Gavin tried not to stare at the lobster. He decided not to inquire further. Whatever Jack’s reasoning, best to accept that crustaceans were necessary to his view of the world.”

— Gail Carriger

269. “Fifteen minutes later, what she got was the most remarkable thing she had ever seen in her life. And Rue had once witnessed a whole party of American tourists actually refuse to drink tea, in a London teahouse, so that’s saying something. The.”

— Gail Carriger

270. “She felt, in fact, very absent from herself. Adrift, as if nothing might bring her back again. Not even tea.”

— Gail Carriger

271. “He has been mad for you these many months, ever since you prodded him in the nether regions with a hedgehog.”

— Gail Carriger

272. “Footwear, after all, was a serious commitment.”

— Gail Carriger

273. “Rue was a romantic. Her parents were a love match. Had to be, for there was no other possible explanation for them tolerating one another. Thus Rue held the very peculiar opinion that love made for a most agreeable form of companionship.”

— Gail Carriger

274. “After four marriages, and four deaths, she had everything in life a woman might desire: titled position, swollen coffers, the freedom to travel, and a world that accepted her because it was afraid of her.”

— Gail Carriger

275. “And I find perfect beauty excessively boring, don’t you?”

— Gail Carriger

276. “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.”

— Gail Carriger

277. “Do you know?” “Do I know what?” “If they need more water.” “No, I don’t. You might ask a farmer.” “Don’t be ridiculous. There must be a book on the subject.”

— Gail Carriger

278. “Dewan ex machina.”

— Gail Carriger

279. “The French inventor told the acting troupe about Lord Maccon’s death.”

— Gail Carriger

280. “Shut your cake hole, you revolting young blot.”

— Gail Carriger

281. “If we provide the right incentive, all things are possible, even perfection.”

— Gail Carriger

282. “One could not blame a people for disliking vampires. Vampires were like brussels sprouts – not for everyone and impossible to improve upon with sauce.”

— Gail Carriger

283. “A ball, at last!” Dimity Plumleigh-Teignmott sank back into her chair in delight.”

— Gail Carriger

284. “Pretty as a pineapple,” pronounced.”

— Gail Carriger

285. “It’s simply, gentlemen” – and when she raised her dark eyes they had a slight sheen in them – “I would so like something useful to do.”

— Gail Carriger

286. “Her heart was beating a marathon somewhere in the region of her throat, her skin felt hot and stretched taut over her bones, and she was damp in places she was tolerably certain unmarried gentlewomen were not supposed to be damp in.”

— Gail Carriger

287. “It didn’t feel sporting to shoot at a crazy person, even if that person was a vampire who’d agreed to the job.”

— Gail Carriger

288. “Death can be jolly well inconvenient, if you ask me.”

— Gail Carriger

289. “Desperately Dimity mentioned badminton. I mean to say, who doesn’t have opinions on badminton? Everyone has opinions on badminton.”

— Gail Carriger

290. “She had to give her teachers credit: they were right to insist all pupils carry scissors, handkerchiefs, perfume and hair ribbons at all times. At some point she’d learn why they also required a red lace doily and a lemon.”

— Gail Carriger

291. “Truth be told, even with Sophronia’s arm muscles, vampires could hurl her a great deal farther than Sophronia could hurl vampires. A great tragedy of life, no doubt. The.”

— Gail Carriger

292. “Rue gave a little mental sigh. No one would ever describe her as deadly attractive. She brightened a bit. Perhaps she could aspire to just deadly?”

— Gail Carriger

293. “The Pistons were partly distracted by this short but excitingly fiery chase, and partly distracted by a new threat in the form of a small but enraged Dimity. Dimity, bless her heart, was reciting one of Mademoiselle Geraldine’s longest lectures on proper behavior at a dance, finger shaking in autocratic fury, Lord Dingleproops notwithstanding.”

— Gail Carriger

294. “He figured someday he might win an argument with this extraordinary woman, but clearly today was not that day. “Did.”

— Gail Carriger

295. “Ooh, ooh, ooh!” Ivy was practically bouncing in excitement over some kind of revelation. “I had a thought,” she said, examining the edge of the wooden stake with interest. “Oh, yes?” encouraged Alexia loudly. Ivy stopped and frowned, her pert little face creased in worry. “I said I had one. It appears to have vanished.”

— Gail Carriger

296. “I assure you, Lord Maccon, I am not the kind of girl to around hallucinating hedgehogs all willy-nilly. And I resent that you should think so.”

— Gail Carriger

297. “This is madness. Oh, well.”

— Gail Carriger

298. “Poetry can cause irreparable harm when misapplied.”

— Gail Carriger

299. “It was their vampire teacher’s custom of late to administer decidedly oddball lessons. Which is to say, more oddball than an ordinary lesson with a vampire in a floating dirigible espionage school.”

— Gail Carriger

300. “Felix ran his hands through his dark hair, sounding like a resigned maiden aunt. ‘It’ll all end in tears and coal dust, you see if it doesn’t.”

— Gail Carriger