Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2025 Update)
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251. “I believe there is a considerable range in the bang of most guns.”

— Gail Carriger

252. “Algebra was far more interesting when it was a matter of proportioning out mutton chops so as to poison only half of one’s dinner guests and then determining the relative value of purchasing a more expensive, yet more effective, antidote over a home remedy.”

— Gail Carriger

253. “Consider the necessary, analyze the consequences, clean up the mess.”

— Gail Carriger

254. “Gavin felt his request was greatly daring – her gun was still within reach.”

— Gail Carriger

255. “It is a valuable thing for an intelligencer to be forgotten.”

— Gail Carriger

256. “I suppose that saves us from having to determine what to do with a butler who goes around killing people. It certainly reflects badly upon our domestic staff. Still, I shall miss him. There was a man who knew how to brew a good cup of tea.”

— Gail Carriger

257. “Lord Maccon reflected upon the state of his life wherein he had somehow gained a spouse who could not give a pig’s foot for the latest dresses out of Paris but who whined about not owning an aethographic transmitter. Well, at least the two were comparable obsessions so far as expense was concerned.”

— Gail Carriger

258. “Someone was trying to kill Lady Alexia Maccon. It was most inconvenient, as she was in a dreadful hurry.”

— Gail Carriger

259. “Can you imagine... the detrimental effect on your marriage prospects, to be found unchaperoned in a library with a dead vampire!”

— Gail Carriger

260. “Where does one purchase a mustache in London? Fleet Street?”

— Gail Carriger

261. “Death can be jolly well inconvenient, if you ask me.”

— Gail Carriger

262. “Alexia wondered what it said about her character that Ivy had genuinely believed she would intentionally go climbing about the side of a floating dirigible.”

— Gail Carriger

263. “Lyall understood a broken heart, but it could not be allowed to rumple perfectly good shirtwaists.”

— Gail Carriger

264. “Even Alexia, spinster that she was, was given an allowance large enough to dress her to the height of fashion – although she did tend to stick to trends a little too precisely. The poor thing could not help it. Her choice of clothing simply lacked soul.”

— Gail Carriger

265. “I have always been hers. Although she is taking her time accepting it.” “I.”

— Gail Carriger

266. “Rue was not above fabricating fate, if it would not be tempted.”

— Gail Carriger

267. “Trust is a lot to ask of someone.”

— Gail Carriger

268. “And so we glide in on the wisps of receding fog, emerging out of the white with the rays of the dying sun highlighting all our puffy majesty.′ Dimity was moved by loss to muttering poetic twaddle.”

— Gail Carriger

269. “Miss Tarabotti pinched him for such blatant innuendo. It did not matter where she pinched, as the earl was a bare canvas of pinchability.”

— Gail Carriger

270. “I assure you, Lord Maccon, I am not the kind of girl to around hallucinating hedgehogs all willy-nilly. And I resent that you should think so.”

— Gail Carriger

271. “Professor Lyall, cursing his Alpha for departing so precipitously, balled up the piece of paper and, after minor consideration for the delicacy of the information it contained, ate it.”

— Gail Carriger

272. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger

273. “Alexia found her voice. “Couldn’t I just whack him once? Just a little one, over the head? He would hardly notice.”

— Gail Carriger

274. “The redhead whispered, “No, what’s a man like down there?” “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.” Sophronia blinked in surprise. That sounded worse than Sidheag’s description of a werewolf shift.”

— Gail Carriger

275. “I’m Scottish,” as if that would explain everything. The duke nodded, as if it did. “Yes, well, we can’t all be from the right side of the country. Would.”

— Gail Carriger

276. “He wore a tweed suit, of all horrible things, and a cravat tied with such carelessness it was almost as much a sin as his actions.”

— Gail Carriger

277. “Poetry can cause irreparable harm when misapplied.”

— Gail Carriger

278. “Silence descended while they all analysed her words for hidden meaning. They were lost because there was none. Simplicity of truth and purpose was rare in their world. Arsenic wanted her mark of existence to be kind. She didn’t think there was anything wrong or less powerful about that choice.”

— Gail Carriger

279. “Felix ran his hands through his dark hair, sounding like a resigned maiden aunt. ‘It’ll all end in tears and coal dust, you see if it doesn’t.”

— Gail Carriger

280. “How was I to know idiocy was only a temporary condition, especially in your case? It never has been before!”

— Gail Carriger

281. “If I don’t like it, I stop. Life’s too short to read a book that doesn’t entertain me.”

— Gail Carriger

282. “Tea is her answer to everything. I once broke my arm and she tried to give me Lapsang Souchong.”

— Gail Carriger

283. “Professor Lyall puffed out his cheeks in exasperation. It was like trying to have a conversation with a distracted and very soggy scone. Every time he pushed in one direction the earl either oozed or crumbled.”

— Gail Carriger

284. “No, Lord Maccon was riproaring, tumble down, without a doubt, pickled beyond the gherkin.”

— Gail Carriger

285. “I had a recent delivery of new fashion plates from Paris, and you hardly glanced at the hairstyles. My husband tells me you are still having difficulty controlling the change. And your cravat has been tied very simply of late, even for evening events.”

— Gail Carriger

286. “Follow that porcupine!”

— Gail Carriger

287. “And I find perfect beauty excessively boring, don’t you?”

— Gail Carriger

288. “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.”

— Gail Carriger

289. “The werewolf hit the exsanguination chamber in a vicious storm of fang and claw and began unceremoniously tearing everything apart. Including the scientists.”

— Gail Carriger

290. “Do you know?” “Do I know what?” “If they need more water.” “No, I don’t. You might ask a farmer.” “Don’t be ridiculous. There must be a book on the subject.”

— Gail Carriger

291. “Dewan ex machina.”

— Gail Carriger

292. “Monsters came in all shapes and sizes, and very few of them were actually supernatural. She.”

— Gail Carriger

293. “The French inventor told the acting troupe about Lord Maccon’s death.”

— Gail Carriger

294. “Shut your cake hole, you revolting young blot.”

— Gail Carriger

295. “If we provide the right incentive, all things are possible, even perfection.”

— Gail Carriger

296. “One could not blame a people for disliking vampires. Vampires were like brussels sprouts – not for everyone and impossible to improve upon with sauce.”

— Gail Carriger

297. “A ball, at last!” Dimity Plumleigh-Teignmott sank back into her chair in delight.”

— Gail Carriger

298. “Pretty as a pineapple,” pronounced.”

— Gail Carriger

299. “It’s simply, gentlemen” – and when she raised her dark eyes they had a slight sheen in them – “I would so like something useful to do.”

— Gail Carriger

300. “His eyes were jet-colored circles of perpetual disapproval.”

— Gail Carriger