Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2025 Update)
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151. “Biffy said, off the cuff, “Or we could find a replacement queen.” “Volunteering for the position?” “Why, Professor, is that wittiness I detect?” “Only for you.” “Charmer.” Biffy tapped him on the arm playfully.”

— Gail Carriger

152. “He shook his head, glanced at Alexia in shock, let go of her bottom, stared at his own hand as though accusing it of independent action, and then looked thoroughly ashamed of himself.”

— Gail Carriger

153. “The formidable Lord and Lady Maccon were both prone to yelling loudly and bashing the noggins of those whose opinions did not mesh with theirs.”

— Gail Carriger

154. “Where were the scientific pamphlets that taught a woman how to listen to herself die?”

— Gail Carriger

155. “The burden of a spy, Lord Akeldama always said, was not in the knowing of things but in knowing when to tell such things to others.”

— Gail Carriger

156. “What she said was “I want a man who stays out of my way.”

— Gail Carriger

157. “She also had a French accent, which hundreds of years of animosity had trained nice young Englishwomen to suspect as evil.”

— Gail Carriger

158. “As much as she was enjoying it, Dimity would always rather talk about reading than actually read.”

— Gail Carriger

159. “As a general rule, Lord Maccon appreciated a voluptuous woman. He liked a bit of meat on the female form, more to grab on to – and more to chew off.”

— Gail Carriger

160. “Please come sit in a chair with me in my library and don’t talk too much and when you do speak, say something smart? If we’re lucky the cat will sit on top of us.”

— Gail Carriger

161. “With a resigned shrug, she screamed and collapsed into a faint. She stayed resolutely fainted, despite the liberal application of smelling salts, which made her eyes water most tremendously, a cramp in the back of one knee, and the fact that her new ball gown was getting most awfully wrinkled.”

— Gail Carriger

162. “Please don’t. When you think about things, Sophronia, they only get more complicated. This thing between us could be so very easy, if you let it.”

— Gail Carriger

163. “My Hallway” remarked Lord Akeldama,“Has never seen such lively action. And That, my sugarplums, is saying something!”

— Gail Carriger

164. “Lord Maccon asked meekly, shifting against her in a manner that ensured she realized the nibbling had affected his outsides just as much as her insides. Alexia was partly shocked, partly intrigued by the idea that as he was naked, she might actually get to see what he looked like. She had seen sketches of the nude male, of course, for purely technical purposes. She was given to wonder if werewolves were anatomically bigger in certain areas.”

— Gail Carriger

165. “Strange place, that overseas land, where religion and wealth did the talking and history and age held so little sway.”

— Gail Carriger

166. “Sister Mattie could be rather fatalistic at times; it was why she was such a good poisoning instructor. Death, felt Sister Mattie, must come to everyone in the end. Sometimes it simply required a little help.”

— Gail Carriger

167. “I’m overburdened by strange occurrences at the moment.”

— Gail Carriger

168. “All were annoyed with life, except, of course, those who were dead. The werewolves stacked them neatly in three piles – dead, not dead, and snack-sized.”

— Gail Carriger

169. “I think we seldom regret the risks we take as much as the times we did not try at all.”

— Gail Carriger

170. “CHAPTER TWO In Which Inventors Have Powerful Dimples Imogene.”

— Gail Carriger

171. “Alexia gave in to his demanding touch, but only, of course, because he sounded so pathetic. It had nothing, whatsoever to do with her own quickening heartbeat.”

— Gail Carriger

172. “Sensing a favourable shift, Prim called for celebratory muffins and jam. Muffins and jam seemed to sooth everyone’s temper, particularly the Alpha Vanara’s whose delight in the jam was that of a child discovering blancmange for the first time. Rue could sympathise. She often felt that way about really good jam, not to mention blancmange. And this was, after all, gooseberry.”

— Gail Carriger

173. “Their conversation was a flow of erudite commentary, moist with the syrup of a superior education. She.”

— Gail Carriger

174. “Rue carried her mother’s parasol, which was too ugly to match any of her outfits, but was more sturdy than any of her fashionable ones. This one, felt Rue, could really cause damage to a noggin if applied with enough enthusiasm. Somehow this made her feel more secure about life in general.”

— Gail Carriger

175. “He was clutching at his indelicate bits and writhing about.”

— Gail Carriger

176. “Perhaps to the north? I hear Scotland is lovely this time of year.” “Are you barmy? Scotland is wholly abysmal this time of year.”

— Gail Carriger

177. “He was not very big, mostly because he was not a very big human, and the basic principles of conservation of mass still applied whether supernatural or not. Werewolves had to obey the laws of physics just like everyone else.”

— Gail Carriger

178. “I was rather hoping we could live happily in sin for a very long time.”

— Gail Carriger

179. “Lord Akeldama waggled a wrist limply in the air. “There is a sizable game in motion, my darlings. I depend upon you all to play it with your usual consummate skill.”

— Gail Carriger

180. “But wait. What blood from yonder mortal drips?” Lord Akeldama misquoted.”

— Gail Carriger

181. “Your daughter would like to know if you are still going insane, dear.” Paw considered this. “I’ve been married to your mother for over two decades. You might allow me certain dispensation for eccentricity.”

— Gail Carriger

182. “Also, I ken you have a good heart. ‘Tis thoroughly hidden, but ’tis good.” “For pity’s sake, don’t tell anyone. My reputation will be in ruins.”

— Gail Carriger

183. “To be stupid was one thing; to be stupid and evil yielded up untidy consequences.”

— Gail Carriger

184. “This is the time for obscure Italian mathematicians.”

— Gail Carriger

185. “I do not giggle without purpose. Lady Linette says you should never misapply a giggle.”

— Gail Carriger

186. “Lord Maccon was Scottish-big; this gentleman was only English-big – there was a distinct difference.”

— Gail Carriger

187. “If anyone saw Monique, a well-dressed woman of quality, dangling from the doorway, they apparently assumed everyone had difficulties in life and moved on.”

— Gail Carriger

188. “Sophronia and Dimity took a vacant love seat at the front, Sophronia dislodging a large, fluffy cat with a scrunched-up face. The cat gave her a disgusted look. Or seemed to; it was hard to tell with that face.”

— Gail Carriger

189. “Things were always funnier when one was lying down.”

— Gail Carriger

190. “It is a great skill to have friends in low places. They, too, have things to teach you.”

— Gail Carriger

191. “They never could entirely control preternaturals. It’s your pragmatism. Your kind cannot be persuaded by faith; pure logic must be applied.”

— Gail Carriger

192. “Could that technique, she wondered, be legitimately referred to as a “parassault”?”

— Gail Carriger

193. “Percy was struck by a flight of fancy, imagining Arsenic in his lap, with Footnote on top of both of them. A tangle of limbs and books and cat and comfort. He was startled by the depth of his own yearning.”

— Gail Carriger

194. “Miss Alexia Tarabotti was not enjoying her evening. Private balls were never more than middling amusements for spinsters, and Miss Tarabotti was not the kind of spinster who could garner even that much pleasure from the event. To put the pudding in the puff: she had retreated to the library, her favorite sanctuary in any house, only to happen upon an unexpected vampire. She.”

— Gail Carriger

195. “Like to go somewhere more private and be scandalous some more?”

— Gail Carriger

196. “They filled Woolsey Castle with music and art, drifting about in a fog of intellectualism, and like any fog, they were unpredictable and occasionally quite damp. Imogene.”

— Gail Carriger

197. “To Percy’s delight, Arsenic staunchly resisted developing any possible chatterbox tendencies. Their long silences might have become uncomfortable, except for their mutual joy in quiet and the ameliorating presence of Footnote. The cat divided his time between them. He showed a marked preference for Arsenic’s lap and Percy’s feet, and happily basked in the attention of whichever human was most easily distracted at any given moment.”

— Gail Carriger

198. “Felix looked as if he had been given some kind of caped weasel – part gift, part insult, part utter confusion. “Thank you, I think.”

— Gail Carriger

199. “My dearest Puggle, my whole life with you has been a series of explosive events. Why should this be any different?”

— Gail Carriger

200. “Dimity referred to Monique in the doorway. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger