Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2026 Update)
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151. “Some of the most disagreeable people I know are the most ladylike.”

— Gail Carriger

152. “And vampires were perverted. Or so she hoped.”

— Gail Carriger

153. “My Hallway” remarked Lord Akeldama,“Has never seen such lively action. And That, my sugarplums, is saying something!”

— Gail Carriger

154. “Lord Maccon asked meekly, shifting against her in a manner that ensured she realized the nibbling had affected his outsides just as much as her insides. Alexia was partly shocked, partly intrigued by the idea that as he was naked, she might actually get to see what he looked like. She had seen sketches of the nude male, of course, for purely technical purposes. She was given to wonder if werewolves were anatomically bigger in certain areas.”

— Gail Carriger

155. “Sister Mattie could be rather fatalistic at times; it was why she was such a good poisoning instructor. Death, felt Sister Mattie, must come to everyone in the end. Sometimes it simply required a little help.”

— Gail Carriger

156. “I never read if I can help it. It is terribly bad for the eyes. And it causes one’s forehead to wrinkle most horribly, just there.”

— Gail Carriger

157. “As much as she was enjoying it, Dimity would always rather talk about reading than actually read.”

— Gail Carriger

158. “As a general rule, Lord Maccon appreciated a voluptuous woman. He liked a bit of meat on the female form, more to grab on to – and more to chew off.”

— Gail Carriger

159. “Perhaps to the north? I hear Scotland is lovely this time of year.” “Are you barmy? Scotland is wholly abysmal this time of year.”

— Gail Carriger

160. “Biffy said, off the cuff, “Or we could find a replacement queen.” “Volunteering for the position?” “Why, Professor, is that wittiness I detect?” “Only for you.” “Charmer.” Biffy tapped him on the arm playfully.”

— Gail Carriger

161. “He shook his head, glanced at Alexia in shock, let go of her bottom, stared at his own hand as though accusing it of independent action, and then looked thoroughly ashamed of himself.”

— Gail Carriger

162. “The formidable Lord and Lady Maccon were both prone to yelling loudly and bashing the noggins of those whose opinions did not mesh with theirs.”

— Gail Carriger

163. “I have died and gone to the land of bad novels,” was Squire Loontwill’s response. “I am ill-equipped to cope with such an occurrence.”

— Gail Carriger

164. “With a resigned shrug, she screamed and collapsed into a faint. She stayed resolutely fainted, despite the liberal application of smelling salts, which made her eyes water most tremendously, a cramp in the back of one knee, and the fact that her new ball gown was getting most awfully wrinkled.”

— Gail Carriger

165. “I detest nice weather. Everyone feels compelled to do things out of doors.”

— Gail Carriger

166. “What she said was “I want a man who stays out of my way.”

— Gail Carriger

167. “Alexia gave in to his demanding touch, but only, of course, because he sounded so pathetic. It had nothing, whatsoever to do with her own quickening heartbeat.”

— Gail Carriger

168. “Their conversation was a flow of erudite commentary, moist with the syrup of a superior education. She.”

— Gail Carriger

169. “Strange place, that overseas land, where religion and wealth did the talking and history and age held so little sway.”

— Gail Carriger

170. “Well, you are a werewolf, Scottish, naked, and covered in blood, and I am still holding your hand.” He.”

— Gail Carriger

171. “Please come sit in a chair with me in my library and don’t talk too much and when you do speak, say something smart? If we’re lucky the cat will sit on top of us.”

— Gail Carriger

172. “Rue carried her mother’s parasol, which was too ugly to match any of her outfits, but was more sturdy than any of her fashionable ones. This one, felt Rue, could really cause damage to a noggin if applied with enough enthusiasm. Somehow this made her feel more secure about life in general.”

— Gail Carriger

173. “He was clutching at his indelicate bits and writhing about.”

— Gail Carriger

174. “Where were the scientific pamphlets that taught a woman how to listen to herself die?”

— Gail Carriger

175. “I think we seldom regret the risks we take as much as the times we did not try at all.”

— Gail Carriger

176. “CHAPTER TWO In Which Inventors Have Powerful Dimples Imogene.”

— Gail Carriger

177. “It takes a great deal of money to acquire a look of not having spent any at all.”

— Gail Carriger

178. “I’m overburdened by strange occurrences at the moment.”

— Gail Carriger

179. “How ghastly for her,” said Alexia, driven beyond endurance into comment. “People actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.”

— Gail Carriger

180. “Espionage, Sophronia had learned, was tough on petticoats.”

— Gail Carriger

181. “In all her fourteen long years, she had never stayed stationary and uninvolved in anything.”

— Gail Carriger

182. “I was rather hoping we could live happily in sin for a very long time.”

— Gail Carriger

183. “Felix looked as if he had been given some kind of caped weasel – part gift, part insult, part utter confusion. “Thank you, I think.”

— Gail Carriger

184. “My dearest Puggle, my whole life with you has been a series of explosive events. Why should this be any different?”

— Gail Carriger

185. “Dimity referred to Monique in the doorway. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger

186. “Rue floated through it all on a puffy cloud of ulterior motives.”

— Gail Carriger

187. “Could that technique, she wondered, be legitimately referred to as a “parassault”?”

— Gail Carriger

188. “I simply feel that world domination is not my cup of tea. Is that shortsighted?”

— Gail Carriger

189. “I believe I liked it better when she was yelling at me.”

— Gail Carriger

190. “This was the kind of woman who took her tea black, smoked cigars after midnight, played a mean game of cribbage, and kept a bevy of repulsive little dogs.”

— Gail Carriger

191. “If anyone saw Monique, a well-dressed woman of quality, dangling from the doorway, they apparently assumed everyone had difficulties in life and moved on.”

— Gail Carriger

192. “Sometimes I can even pick up messages intended for other aethographors.” He frowned a moment. “Story of my life, if you think about it.”

— Gail Carriger

193. “Werewolves had to obey the laws of physics just like everyone else. The.”

— Gail Carriger

194. “I could practically hear her thoughts sliding about in her head, like water over pebbles. Very slow water over very large pebbles.”

— Gail Carriger

195. “Your daughter would like to know if you are still going insane, dear.” Paw considered this. “I’ve been married to your mother for over two decades. You might allow me certain dispensation for eccentricity.”

— Gail Carriger

196. “To be stupid was one thing; to be stupid and evil yielded up untidy consequences.”

— Gail Carriger

197. “And I need to be where other people are not for a while. Percy knew himself well enough for that.”

— Gail Carriger

198. “It was difficult to see the exact nature of his expression as, in addition to the ubiquitous mustache, the clockmaker also wore a golden-brown beard of such epic proportions as might dwarf a mulberry bush. It was as though his mustache had become overly enthusiastic and, seized with the spirit of adventure, set out to conquer the southern reaches of his face in a take-no-prisoners kind of way.”

— Gail Carriger

199. “You think loyalty can be bought?” “Don’t you?”

— Gail Carriger

200. “I must send a beard to rescue a mustache!”

— Gail Carriger