Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2026 Update)
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301. “One could not blame a people for disliking vampires. Vampires were like brussels sprouts – not for everyone and impossible to improve upon with sauce.”

— Gail Carriger

302. “It’s simply, gentlemen” – and when she raised her dark eyes they had a slight sheen in them – “I would so like something useful to do.”

— Gail Carriger

303. “It was their vampire teacher’s custom of late to administer decidedly oddball lessons. Which is to say, more oddball than an ordinary lesson with a vampire in a floating dirigible espionage school.”

— Gail Carriger

304. “Dewan ex machina.”

— Gail Carriger

305. “Monsters came in all shapes and sizes, and very few of them were actually supernatural. She.”

— Gail Carriger

306. “He figured someday he might win an argument with this extraordinary woman, but clearly today was not that day. “Did.”

— Gail Carriger

307. “And I find perfect beauty excessively boring, don’t you?”

— Gail Carriger

308. “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.”

— Gail Carriger

309. “I had a recent delivery of new fashion plates from Paris, and you hardly glanced at the hairstyles. My husband tells me you are still having difficulty controlling the change. And your cravat has been tied very simply of late, even for evening events.”

— Gail Carriger

310. “His eyes were jet-colored circles of perpetual disapproval.”

— Gail Carriger

311. “The werewolf hit the exsanguination chamber in a vicious storm of fang and claw and began unceremoniously tearing everything apart. Including the scientists.”

— Gail Carriger

312. “She had to give her teachers credit: they were right to insist all pupils carry scissors, handkerchiefs, perfume and hair ribbons at all times. At some point she’d learn why they also required a red lace doily and a lemon.”

— Gail Carriger

313. “Oh, dear me, no. Then I should be known as that vampire with all the cats.”

— Gail Carriger

314. “Alexia abhorred hypocrisy, especially when munitions were involved.”

— Gail Carriger

315. “Alexia had spent long hours wondering over that mustache. Werewolves did not grow hair, as they did not age. Where had it come from? Had he always had it? For how many centuries had his poor abused upper lip labored under the burden of such vegetation?”

— Gail Carriger

316. “Are you certain they will manage without me?” “We will be back in only a few hours. How bad can it get?” “Don’t tempt fate, my love.”

— Gail Carriger

317. “Look at the plucky young thing! She is trying to make a funny,” said Lord Ambrose snidely.”

— Gail Carriger

318. “Rain, in your glorious presence, Miss Temminnick? I hardly think it should dare.”

— Gail Carriger

319. “Perched in one corner, like some sort of ship’s figurehead, was an oddly sinister wicker chicken. It frowned down upon her with an air of chubby disdain.”

— Gail Carriger

320. “I’ll do it,” insisted Arsenic, helping Percy to rise. He supposed a thousand Englishmen around the world cried out that he took aid from a woman, but he was never one to accept lightly the illogicality of custom. Tradition seemed to him a poor excuse for inconvenience. Also he rather enjoyed her fussing over him.”

— Gail Carriger

321. “Classic author moment, “Oh dear, did I kill that character or not?”

— Gail Carriger

322. “Well, life with Percy was probably extremely dull. “And Footnote, miss?” “Footnote?” “Himself’s cat.”

— Gail Carriger

323. “If left together for too long, the two of them might actually take over the civilized world, through sheer application of snide remarks.”

— Gail Carriger

324. “His animal form was nondescript but tidy, rather like his favorite waistcoat: his pelt the same sandy color as his hair but with a sheen of black about the face and neck. He was not very big, mostly because he was not a very big human, and the basic principles of conservation of mass still applied whether supernatural or not. Werewolves had to obey the laws of physics just like everyone else. The.”

— Gail Carriger

325. “The important question is, what will your wear for a wedding dress, Alexia? You look horrible in white.”

— Gail Carriger

326. “The greatest unwritten law of the supernatural set was that one simply didn’t steal someone else’s human.”

— Gail Carriger

327. “Having delivered the expected daily miracle, Floote stood in his usual stance and warily watched the Templars work.”

— Gail Carriger

328. “Always, there was a tiny part of her that wanted to kill any man she knew. On principle.”

— Gail Carriger

329. “A vampire attacked me last night.” Ivy pretended a faint.”

— Gail Carriger

330. “Soap understood her. Soap would always understand.”

— Gail Carriger

331. “Lady Maccon declined in horror. She enjoyed most foods, but brussels sprouts were nothing more than underdeveloped cabbages.”

— Gail Carriger

332. “Frankly, Percy was accustomed to offending people into near murderous rages. When someone actually tried to pot him off, it felt endearingly honest.”

— Gail Carriger

333. “I’d rather be loyal than right.”

— Gail Carriger

334. “Oh, Percy, I hate it when you’re right.” He patted her shoulder. “I know, Rue, apologies.”

— Gail Carriger

335. “Falling out of the sky was one thing, but doing so for unknown reasons was quite unacceptable. Having.”

— Gail Carriger

336. “It was a constant source of amazement to Alexia that the only thing she had ever done in her entire life that pleased her mama was marry a werewolf.”

— Gail Carriger

337. “Alexia blinked stupidly at the Beta from around the earl’s upper arm. Her heart was doing crazy things, and she still could not locate her kneecaps. She took a deep breath and put some serious attention into tracking them down.”

— Gail Carriger

338. “He was still unsure as to how Lyall had, in fact, managed to keep him in London all these days. Betas, in the end, were mysterious creatures with strange powers. Powers that, when all was said and done, seemed to involve nothing more than a continued battery of civilized behavior and an excess of manners. Effective, blast him.”

— Gail Carriger

339. “It was typical of her character that she simply assumed she would, eventually, gain control over the situation.”

— Gail Carriger

340. “Very well, Lord Maccon. If we are going to play this particular hand, would you be interested in becoming my... ” “Mistress?”

— Gail Carriger

341. “Alexia wondered what he thought of her as – a cat perhaps? Cats were not, in her experience, an animal with much soul.”

— Gail Carriger

342. “Lady Maccon wondered if she had ever been so foolish over Lord Maccon. Then she recalled that her affection generally took the form of threats and verbal barbs. She gave herself a pat on the back for avoiding sentimentality.”

— Gail Carriger

343. “Like a proper gentleman, the good captain never made mention of the undergarment murder.”

— Gail Carriger

344. “The other gentleman was Lord Akeldama – an undersized absurdity, all pompadour and no circumstance. He sported a monocle he didn’t need, an accent not his own, and an attitude forever tempting disregard. He was also the deadliest creature Preshea knew.”

— Gail Carriger

345. “Mr Lefoux, would you fetch Prim for me? She seems to have been kilted.” Quesnel.”

— Gail Carriger

346. “Ever since her trip with Alexia to Scotland, Mrs. Tunstell had rather a taste for foreign travel. Alexia blamed it on the kilts.”

— Gail Carriger

347. “The man was dead after all. But not powerless. Formerly Floote was many things, but powerless wasn’t one of them. He had knowledge.”

— Gail Carriger

348. “In for the boil, might as well steam.”

— Gail Carriger

349. “Knowing Miss Hisselpenny’s constitution, if the mummy were gruesome enough, dinner might just be revisited.”

— Gail Carriger

350. “Alexia found herself surrounded and embraced by a room of such unmitigated welcome and personality that it was akin to being yelled at by plum pudding.”

— Gail Carriger