Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2026 Update)
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201. “Percy was struck by a flight of fancy, imagining Arsenic in his lap, with Footnote on top of both of them. A tangle of limbs and books and cat and comfort. He was startled by the depth of his own yearning.”

— Gail Carriger

202. “For you, it’s gossip. For me, it’s action.”

— Gail Carriger

203. “The duke contents himself mainly with attempting to rule the world and other suchlike nonsense. When one is guiding the patterns of the social universe, a single spinster preternatural is unlikely to cause one undue distress.”

— Gail Carriger

204. “But wait. What blood from yonder mortal drips?” Lord Akeldama misquoted.”

— Gail Carriger

205. “This is the time for obscure Italian mathematicians.”

— Gail Carriger

206. “Do not trouble me with such weak excuses.”

— Gail Carriger

207. “Just like a cat, to mould her environment to suit her whim.”

— Gail Carriger

208. “Like to go somewhere more private and be scandalous some more?”

— Gail Carriger

209. “What’s wrong with you? Are you ill? I forbid you to be ill, wife.”

— Gail Carriger

210. “It is a great skill to have friends in low places. They, too, have things to teach you.”

— Gail Carriger

211. “Rue began to suspect that Floote said so little because others found him easy to talk to. At.”

— Gail Carriger

212. “Mrs. Loontwill did what any well-prepared mother would do upon finding her unmarried daughter in the arms of a gentleman werewolf: she had very decorous, and extremely loud, hysterics.”

— Gail Carriger

213. “Espionage, Sophronia had learned, was tough on petticoats.”

— Gail Carriger

214. “In all her fourteen long years, she had never stayed stationary and uninvolved in anything.”

— Gail Carriger

215. “How ghastly for her,” said Alexia, driven beyond endurance into comment. “People actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.”

— Gail Carriger

216. “I was rather hoping we could live happily in sin for a very long time.”

— Gail Carriger

217. “Felix looked as if he had been given some kind of caped weasel – part gift, part insult, part utter confusion. “Thank you, I think.”

— Gail Carriger

218. “My dearest Puggle, my whole life with you has been a series of explosive events. Why should this be any different?”

— Gail Carriger

219. “Dimity referred to Monique in the doorway. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger

220. “Rue floated through it all on a puffy cloud of ulterior motives.”

— Gail Carriger

221. “Could that technique, she wondered, be legitimately referred to as a “parassault”?”

— Gail Carriger

222. “I simply feel that world domination is not my cup of tea. Is that shortsighted?”

— Gail Carriger

223. “I believe I liked it better when she was yelling at me.”

— Gail Carriger

224. “This was the kind of woman who took her tea black, smoked cigars after midnight, played a mean game of cribbage, and kept a bevy of repulsive little dogs.”

— Gail Carriger

225. “If anyone saw Monique, a well-dressed woman of quality, dangling from the doorway, they apparently assumed everyone had difficulties in life and moved on.”

— Gail Carriger

226. “It is a valuable thing for an intelligencer to be forgotten.”

— Gail Carriger

227. “Professor Braithwope was undergoing a very dangerous test indeed. For queen and country, the potentate had said. For science, Sophronia thought.”

— Gail Carriger

228. “Silence descended while they all analysed her words for hidden meaning. They were lost because there was none. Simplicity of truth and purpose was rare in their world. Arsenic wanted her mark of existence to be kind. She didn’t think there was anything wrong or less powerful about that choice.”

— Gail Carriger

229. “And so we glide in on the wisps of receding fog, emerging out of the white with the rays of the dying sun highlighting all our puffy majesty.′ Dimity was moved by loss to muttering poetic twaddle.”

— Gail Carriger

230. “Miss Tarabotti pinched him for such blatant innuendo. It did not matter where she pinched, as the earl was a bare canvas of pinchability.”

— Gail Carriger

231. “I assure you, Lord Maccon, I am not the kind of girl to around hallucinating hedgehogs all willy-nilly. And I resent that you should think so.”

— Gail Carriger

232. “Someone was trying to kill Lady Alexia Maccon. It was most inconvenient, as she was in a dreadful hurry.”

— Gail Carriger

233. “Can you imagine... the detrimental effect on your marriage prospects, to be found unchaperoned in a library with a dead vampire!”

— Gail Carriger

234. “Where does one purchase a mustache in London? Fleet Street?”

— Gail Carriger

235. “Death can be jolly well inconvenient, if you ask me.”

— Gail Carriger

236. “I suppose that saves us from having to determine what to do with a butler who goes around killing people. It certainly reflects badly upon our domestic staff. Still, I shall miss him. There was a man who knew how to brew a good cup of tea.”

— Gail Carriger

237. “The Earl of Woolsey was indeed completely nude. He did not seem particularly perturbed by this fact, but Miss Tarabotti felt the sudden need to close her eyes tight and think about asparagus or something equally mundane.”

— Gail Carriger

Featured in: Romance Quotes

238. “Gavin tried not to stare at the lobster. He decided not to inquire further. Whatever Jack’s reasoning, best to accept that crustaceans were necessary to his view of the world.”

— Gail Carriger

Featured in: Romance Quotes

239. “She felt, in fact, very absent from herself. Adrift, as if nothing might bring her back again. Not even tea.”

— Gail Carriger

240. “Consider the necessary, analyze the consequences, clean up the mess.”

— Gail Carriger

241. “I believe there is a considerable range in the bang of most guns.”

— Gail Carriger

242. “You know vampires and solicitors – practically indistinguishable.”

— Gail Carriger

243. “Can’t you tell from the hair and the cheekbones? Humans don’t grow that beautiful. Not outside of Denmark, anyway.”

— Gail Carriger

244. “Shut your cake hole, you revolting young blot.”

— Gail Carriger

245. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger

246. “The redhead whispered, “No, what’s a man like down there?” “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.” Sophronia blinked in surprise. That sounded worse than Sidheag’s description of a werewolf shift.”

— Gail Carriger

247. “Just a short visit, enough for a mild dismemberment?”

— Gail Carriger

248. “I’m Scottish,” as if that would explain everything. The duke nodded, as if it did. “Yes, well, we can’t all be from the right side of the country. Would.”

— Gail Carriger

249. “Professor Lyall, cursing his Alpha for departing so precipitously, balled up the piece of paper and, after minor consideration for the delicacy of the information it contained, ate it.”

— Gail Carriger

250. “Oh, Sophronia, thank goodness. Save me? Please? All those young girls, in pastels, talking about the weather. I shall go jump off a bridge, I swear I shall. Do you have bridges in Wiltshire? They chatter, they chatter worse than Dimity ever did. Oh, the chattering! The chattering, it haunts me.”

— Gail Carriger