Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2026 Update)
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201. “Rue began to suspect that Floote said so little because others found him easy to talk to. At.”

— Gail Carriger

202. “Mrs. Loontwill did what any well-prepared mother would do upon finding her unmarried daughter in the arms of a gentleman werewolf: she had very decorous, and extremely loud, hysterics.”

— Gail Carriger

203. “In all her fourteen long years, she had never stayed stationary and uninvolved in anything.”

— Gail Carriger

204. “How ghastly for her,” said Alexia, driven beyond endurance into comment. “People actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.”

— Gail Carriger

205. “Espionage, Sophronia had learned, was tough on petticoats.”

— Gail Carriger

206. “I was rather hoping we could live happily in sin for a very long time.”

— Gail Carriger

207. “My dearest Puggle, my whole life with you has been a series of explosive events. Why should this be any different?”

— Gail Carriger

208. “Dimity referred to Monique in the doorway. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger

209. “Felix looked as if he had been given some kind of caped weasel – part gift, part insult, part utter confusion. “Thank you, I think.”

— Gail Carriger

210. “Rue floated through it all on a puffy cloud of ulterior motives.”

— Gail Carriger

211. “Could that technique, she wondered, be legitimately referred to as a “parassault”?”

— Gail Carriger

212. “I believe I liked it better when she was yelling at me.”

— Gail Carriger

213. “This was the kind of woman who took her tea black, smoked cigars after midnight, played a mean game of cribbage, and kept a bevy of repulsive little dogs.”

— Gail Carriger

214. “I simply feel that world domination is not my cup of tea. Is that shortsighted?”

— Gail Carriger

215. “If anyone saw Monique, a well-dressed woman of quality, dangling from the doorway, they apparently assumed everyone had difficulties in life and moved on.”

— Gail Carriger

216. “Sometimes I can even pick up messages intended for other aethographors.” He frowned a moment. “Story of my life, if you think about it.”

— Gail Carriger

217. “Werewolves had to obey the laws of physics just like everyone else. The.”

— Gail Carriger

218. “I could practically hear her thoughts sliding about in her head, like water over pebbles. Very slow water over very large pebbles.”

— Gail Carriger

219. “Your daughter would like to know if you are still going insane, dear.” Paw considered this. “I’ve been married to your mother for over two decades. You might allow me certain dispensation for eccentricity.”

— Gail Carriger

220. “To be stupid was one thing; to be stupid and evil yielded up untidy consequences.”

— Gail Carriger

221. “And I need to be where other people are not for a while. Percy knew himself well enough for that.”

— Gail Carriger

222. “You think loyalty can be bought?” “Don’t you?”

— Gail Carriger

223. “I must send a beard to rescue a mustache!”

— Gail Carriger

224. “In a desperate bid to reestablish civilized talk and decorum, Miss Hisselpenny said, quite loudly, “I see they are bringing in the fish course. What a pleasant surprise. I do so love fish. Don’t you Mr., uh, Dubh. It is so very, um, salty.”

— Gail Carriger

225. “It was difficult to see the exact nature of his expression as, in addition to the ubiquitous mustache, the clockmaker also wore a golden-brown beard of such epic proportions as might dwarf a mulberry bush. It was as though his mustache had become overly enthusiastic and, seized with the spirit of adventure, set out to conquer the southern reaches of his face in a take-no-prisoners kind of way.”

— Gail Carriger

226. “And so we glide in on the wisps of receding fog, emerging out of the white with the rays of the dying sun highlighting all our puffy majesty.′ Dimity was moved by loss to muttering poetic twaddle.”

— Gail Carriger

227. “Miss Tarabotti pinched him for such blatant innuendo. It did not matter where she pinched, as the earl was a bare canvas of pinchability.”

— Gail Carriger

228. “I assure you, Lord Maccon, I am not the kind of girl to around hallucinating hedgehogs all willy-nilly. And I resent that you should think so.”

— Gail Carriger

229. “Someone was trying to kill Lady Alexia Maccon. It was most inconvenient, as she was in a dreadful hurry.”

— Gail Carriger

230. “Can you imagine... the detrimental effect on your marriage prospects, to be found unchaperoned in a library with a dead vampire!”

— Gail Carriger

231. “Where does one purchase a mustache in London? Fleet Street?”

— Gail Carriger

232. “Death can be jolly well inconvenient, if you ask me.”

— Gail Carriger

233. “Desperately Dimity mentioned badminton. I mean to say, who doesn’t have opinions on badminton? Everyone has opinions on badminton.”

— Gail Carriger

234. “I suppose that saves us from having to determine what to do with a butler who goes around killing people. It certainly reflects badly upon our domestic staff. Still, I shall miss him. There was a man who knew how to brew a good cup of tea.”

— Gail Carriger

235. “Gavin tried not to stare at the lobster. He decided not to inquire further. Whatever Jack’s reasoning, best to accept that crustaceans were necessary to his view of the world.”

— Gail Carriger

Featured in: Romance Quotes

236. “She felt, in fact, very absent from herself. Adrift, as if nothing might bring her back again. Not even tea.”

— Gail Carriger

237. “The Earl of Woolsey was indeed completely nude. He did not seem particularly perturbed by this fact, but Miss Tarabotti felt the sudden need to close her eyes tight and think about asparagus or something equally mundane.”

— Gail Carriger

Featured in: Romance Quotes

238. “Consider the necessary, analyze the consequences, clean up the mess.”

— Gail Carriger

239. “I believe there is a considerable range in the bang of most guns.”

— Gail Carriger

240. “You know vampires and solicitors – practically indistinguishable.”

— Gail Carriger

241. “Can’t you tell from the hair and the cheekbones? Humans don’t grow that beautiful. Not outside of Denmark, anyway.”

— Gail Carriger

242. “Shut your cake hole, you revolting young blot.”

— Gail Carriger

243. “Just a short visit, enough for a mild dismemberment?”

— Gail Carriger

244. “I’m Scottish,” as if that would explain everything. The duke nodded, as if it did. “Yes, well, we can’t all be from the right side of the country. Would.”

— Gail Carriger

245. “Professor Lyall, cursing his Alpha for departing so precipitously, balled up the piece of paper and, after minor consideration for the delicacy of the information it contained, ate it.”

— Gail Carriger

246. “Saw your nicely strung-up slab of bacon.” “Don’t insult bacon,” said Sidheag.”

— Gail Carriger

247. “The redhead whispered, “No, what’s a man like down there?” “Oh.” Sidheag wrinkled her nose. “Unimpressive. They have” – she gestured toward her own nether regions with one hand – “a sort of dangly sausage – lacks tailoring.” Sophronia blinked in surprise. That sounded worse than Sidheag’s description of a werewolf shift.”

— Gail Carriger

248. “Yes?” Percy did not try to tame the grumpiness in his voice. He hated to be disturbed while he was reading. Of course, he was always reading, but that did not signify.”

— Gail Carriger

249. “Do you know?” “Do I know what?” “If they need more water.” “No, I don’t. You might ask a farmer.” “Don’t be ridiculous. There must be a book on the subject.”

— Gail Carriger

250. “I like fish,” chirruped Tunstell. Felicity drew his attention immediately back to herself. “Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?” “Well” – Tunstell hesitated – “you know, the um, ones that” – he made a swooping motion with both hands – “uh, swim.”

— Gail Carriger