Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2025 Update)
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201. “Rue began to suspect that Floote said so little because others found him easy to talk to. At.”

— Gail Carriger

202. “I simply feel that world domination is not my cup of tea. Is that shortsighted?”

— Gail Carriger

203. “I believe I liked it better when she was yelling at me.”

— Gail Carriger

204. “This was the kind of woman who took her tea black, smoked cigars after midnight, played a mean game of cribbage, and kept a bevy of repulsive little dogs.”

— Gail Carriger

205. “For you, it’s gossip. For me, it’s action.”

— Gail Carriger

206. “What’s wrong with you? Are you ill? I forbid you to be ill, wife.”

— Gail Carriger

207. “Well, if I must, fine. I’ll guard the retreat,” said Alexia. “Buy us some time.” “What, in a clock shop?”

— Gail Carriger

208. “Rue floated through it all on a puffy cloud of ulterior motives.”

— Gail Carriger

209. “It was difficult to see the exact nature of his expression as, in addition to the ubiquitous mustache, the clockmaker also wore a golden-brown beard of such epic proportions as might dwarf a mulberry bush. It was as though his mustache had become overly enthusiastic and, seized with the spirit of adventure, set out to conquer the southern reaches of his face in a take-no-prisoners kind of way.”

— Gail Carriger

210. “Just like a cat, to mould her environment to suit her whim.”

— Gail Carriger

211. “You think loyalty can be bought?” “Don’t you?”

— Gail Carriger

212. “I must send a beard to rescue a mustache!”

— Gail Carriger

213. “In a desperate bid to reestablish civilized talk and decorum, Miss Hisselpenny said, quite loudly, “I see they are bringing in the fish course. What a pleasant surprise. I do so love fish. Don’t you Mr., uh, Dubh. It is so very, um, salty.”

— Gail Carriger

214. “He was not very big, mostly because he was not a very big human, and the basic principles of conservation of mass still applied whether supernatural or not. Werewolves had to obey the laws of physics just like everyone else.”

— Gail Carriger

215. “I was rather hoping we could live happily in sin for a very long time.”

— Gail Carriger

216. “Lord Akeldama waggled a wrist limply in the air. “There is a sizable game in motion, my darlings. I depend upon you all to play it with your usual consummate skill.”

— Gail Carriger

217. “But wait. What blood from yonder mortal drips?” Lord Akeldama misquoted.”

— Gail Carriger

218. “Your daughter would like to know if you are still going insane, dear.” Paw considered this. “I’ve been married to your mother for over two decades. You might allow me certain dispensation for eccentricity.”

— Gail Carriger

219. “To be stupid was one thing; to be stupid and evil yielded up untidy consequences.”

— Gail Carriger

220. “This is the time for obscure Italian mathematicians.”

— Gail Carriger

221. “I do not giggle without purpose. Lady Linette says you should never misapply a giggle.”

— Gail Carriger

222. “Lord Maccon was Scottish-big; this gentleman was only English-big – there was a distinct difference.”

— Gail Carriger

223. “If anyone saw Monique, a well-dressed woman of quality, dangling from the doorway, they apparently assumed everyone had difficulties in life and moved on.”

— Gail Carriger

224. “Biffy didn’t like enigmas – they were out of fashion.”

— Gail Carriger

225. “Lord Maccon believed that if his trousers were on his legs, and something else was on his torso, he was dressed. The less done after that, the better. His wife had been startled to find that in the summertime, he actually went around their room barefoot! Once – and only once, mind you – he even attempted to join her for tea in such a state. Impossible man. Alexia put a stop to that posthaste.”

— Gail Carriger

226. “Apparently, gentlemen not only liked to kiss and touch women everywhere, they did that and more, on a regular basis, and mostly not with ladies at all, but with women of less genteel breeding. Some gentlemen, her brothers had whispered, even did it with each other. Although this was considered quite uncouth, Sophronia gathered, once one left Eton.”

— Gail Carriger

227. “Oh, Sophronia, thank goodness. Save me? Please? All those young girls, in pastels, talking about the weather. I shall go jump off a bridge, I swear I shall. Do you have bridges in Wiltshire? They chatter, they chatter worse than Dimity ever did. Oh, the chattering! The chattering, it haunts me.”

— Gail Carriger

228. “Alexia was rather strapping. He preferred her that way. Undersized women reminded him of yippy dogs.”

— Gail Carriger

229. “Percy has a cat, named Footnote. Or as Virgil put it, Footnote has a human, named Percy.”

— Gail Carriger

230. “Yes?” Percy did not try to tame the grumpiness in his voice. He hated to be disturbed while he was reading. Of course, he was always reading, but that did not signify.”

— Gail Carriger

231. “I like fish,” chirruped Tunstell. Felicity drew his attention immediately back to herself. “Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?” “Well” – Tunstell hesitated – “you know, the um, ones that” – he made a swooping motion with both hands – “uh, swim.”

— Gail Carriger

232. “And so, for the first time, a gentleman is throwing me over. How unexpected. What sensation does this engender in me? Am I saddened? Is my heart crushed? No, that’s more likely hunger. It’s been ages since luncheon. Oh well.”

— Gail Carriger

233. “Acknowledgements With grateful thanks to the three least-appreciated and hardest-working proselytizers of the written word: independent bookstores, librarians, and teachers.”

— Gail Carriger

234. “She investigated further: moving along with little kisses down his throat and over his collarbone until she came to the same location on his neck that on hers was currently a decorative black and blue color. She bit him. Hard. Alexia never did anything by halves.”

— Gail Carriger

235. “Well, I am terribly concerned for your health. One simply should not weigh so much at your age.” Lady Maccon poked at a sagging carrot and wondered if anyone would miss her dear sister were she to be oh-so-gently tipped over the rail of the upper deck.”

— Gail Carriger

236. “Professor Braithwope was undergoing a very dangerous test indeed. For queen and country, the potentate had said. For science, Sophronia thought.”

— Gail Carriger

237. “I believe there is a considerable range in the bang of most guns.”

— Gail Carriger

238. “Algebra was far more interesting when it was a matter of proportioning out mutton chops so as to poison only half of one’s dinner guests and then determining the relative value of purchasing a more expensive, yet more effective, antidote over a home remedy.”

— Gail Carriger

239. “Consider the necessary, analyze the consequences, clean up the mess.”

— Gail Carriger

240. “Gavin felt his request was greatly daring – her gun was still within reach.”

— Gail Carriger

241. “It is a valuable thing for an intelligencer to be forgotten.”

— Gail Carriger

242. “I suppose that saves us from having to determine what to do with a butler who goes around killing people. It certainly reflects badly upon our domestic staff. Still, I shall miss him. There was a man who knew how to brew a good cup of tea.”

— Gail Carriger

243. “Lord Maccon reflected upon the state of his life wherein he had somehow gained a spouse who could not give a pig’s foot for the latest dresses out of Paris but who whined about not owning an aethographic transmitter. Well, at least the two were comparable obsessions so far as expense was concerned.”

— Gail Carriger

244. “Someone was trying to kill Lady Alexia Maccon. It was most inconvenient, as she was in a dreadful hurry.”

— Gail Carriger

245. “Can you imagine... the detrimental effect on your marriage prospects, to be found unchaperoned in a library with a dead vampire!”

— Gail Carriger

246. “Where does one purchase a mustache in London? Fleet Street?”

— Gail Carriger

247. “Alexia wondered what it said about her character that Ivy had genuinely believed she would intentionally go climbing about the side of a floating dirigible.”

— Gail Carriger

248. “Lyall understood a broken heart, but it could not be allowed to rumple perfectly good shirtwaists.”

— Gail Carriger

249. “Even Alexia, spinster that she was, was given an allowance large enough to dress her to the height of fashion – although she did tend to stick to trends a little too precisely. The poor thing could not help it. Her choice of clothing simply lacked soul.”

— Gail Carriger

250. “I have always been hers. Although she is taking her time accepting it.” “I.”

— Gail Carriger