Top 400 Gail Carriger Quotes (2026 Update)
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201. “In a desperate bid to reestablish civilized talk and decorum, Miss Hisselpenny said, quite loudly, “I see they are bringing in the fish course. What a pleasant surprise. I do so love fish. Don’t you Mr., uh, Dubh. It is so very, um, salty.”

— Gail Carriger

202. “Miss Alexia Tarabotti was not enjoying her evening. Private balls were never more than middling amusements for spinsters, and Miss Tarabotti was not the kind of spinster who could garner even that much pleasure from the event. To put the pudding in the puff: she had retreated to the library, her favorite sanctuary in any house, only to happen upon an unexpected vampire. She.”

— Gail Carriger

203. “They filled Woolsey Castle with music and art, drifting about in a fog of intellectualism, and like any fog, they were unpredictable and occasionally quite damp. Imogene.”

— Gail Carriger

204. “To Percy’s delight, Arsenic staunchly resisted developing any possible chatterbox tendencies. Their long silences might have become uncomfortable, except for their mutual joy in quiet and the ameliorating presence of Footnote. The cat divided his time between them. He showed a marked preference for Arsenic’s lap and Percy’s feet, and happily basked in the attention of whichever human was most easily distracted at any given moment.”

— Gail Carriger

205. “Well, if I must, fine. I’ll guard the retreat,” said Alexia. “Buy us some time.” “What, in a clock shop?”

— Gail Carriger

206. “Sophronia and Dimity took a vacant love seat at the front, Sophronia dislodging a large, fluffy cat with a scrunched-up face. The cat gave her a disgusted look. Or seemed to; it was hard to tell with that face.”

— Gail Carriger

207. “Things were always funnier when one was lying down.”

— Gail Carriger

208. “They never could entirely control preternaturals. It’s your pragmatism. Your kind cannot be persuaded by faith; pure logic must be applied.”

— Gail Carriger

209. “I do not giggle without purpose. Lady Linette says you should never misapply a giggle.”

— Gail Carriger

210. “Lord Maccon was Scottish-big; this gentleman was only English-big – there was a distinct difference.”

— Gail Carriger

211. “If that Alpha wanted to dash off into the jungle with a mysterious goddess on her back on a whimsical evening run in the middle of a prospective battle, they would go with her.”

— Gail Carriger

212. “He was not very big, mostly because he was not a very big human, and the basic principles of conservation of mass still applied whether supernatural or not. Werewolves had to obey the laws of physics just like everyone else.”

— Gail Carriger

213. “Lord Akeldama waggled a wrist limply in the air. “There is a sizable game in motion, my darlings. I depend upon you all to play it with your usual consummate skill.”

— Gail Carriger

214. “Well, I am terribly concerned for your health. One simply should not weigh so much at your age.” Lady Maccon poked at a sagging carrot and wondered if anyone would miss her dear sister were she to be oh-so-gently tipped over the rail of the upper deck.”

— Gail Carriger

215. “Percy was struck by a flight of fancy, imagining Arsenic in his lap, with Footnote on top of both of them. A tangle of limbs and books and cat and comfort. He was startled by the depth of his own yearning.”

— Gail Carriger

216. “For you, it’s gossip. For me, it’s action.”

— Gail Carriger

217. “The duke contents himself mainly with attempting to rule the world and other suchlike nonsense. When one is guiding the patterns of the social universe, a single spinster preternatural is unlikely to cause one undue distress.”

— Gail Carriger

218. “But wait. What blood from yonder mortal drips?” Lord Akeldama misquoted.”

— Gail Carriger

219. “This is the time for obscure Italian mathematicians.”

— Gail Carriger

220. “Do not trouble me with such weak excuses.”

— Gail Carriger

221. “Just like a cat, to mould her environment to suit her whim.”

— Gail Carriger

222. “Like to go somewhere more private and be scandalous some more?”

— Gail Carriger

223. “What’s wrong with you? Are you ill? I forbid you to be ill, wife.”

— Gail Carriger

224. “It is a great skill to have friends in low places. They, too, have things to teach you.”

— Gail Carriger

225. “Mrs. Loontwill did what any well-prepared mother would do upon finding her unmarried daughter in the arms of a gentleman werewolf: she had very decorous, and extremely loud, hysterics.”

— Gail Carriger

226. “Rue began to suspect that Floote said so little because others found him easy to talk to. At.”

— Gail Carriger

227. “Professor Braithwope, shimmering out of his room fully clothed and dapper. His mustache was a fluffy caterpillar of curiosity, perched and ready to inquire, dragging the vampire along behind it on the investigation.”

— Gail Carriger

228. “There was no way she was staying trapped with tea at a time like this.”

— Gail Carriger

229. “Fifteen minutes later, what she got was the most remarkable thing she had ever seen in her life. And Rue had once witnessed a whole party of American tourists actually refuse to drink tea, in a London teahouse, so that’s saying something. The.”

— Gail Carriger

230. “Algebra was far more interesting when it was a matter of proportioning out mutton chops so as to poison only half of one’s dinner guests and then determining the relative value of purchasing a more expensive, yet more effective, antidote over a home remedy.”

— Gail Carriger

231. “Gavin felt his request was greatly daring – her gun was still within reach.”

— Gail Carriger

232. “Alexia found her voice. “Couldn’t I just whack him once? Just a little one, over the head? He would hardly notice.”

— Gail Carriger

233. “He wore a tweed suit, of all horrible things, and a cravat tied with such carelessness it was almost as much a sin as his actions.”

— Gail Carriger

234. “Percy has a cat, named Footnote. Or as Virgil put it, Footnote has a human, named Percy.”

— Gail Carriger

235. “And so, for the first time, a gentleman is throwing me over. How unexpected. What sensation does this engender in me? Am I saddened? Is my heart crushed? No, that’s more likely hunger. It’s been ages since luncheon. Oh well.”

— Gail Carriger

236. “Alexia wondered what it said about her character that Ivy had genuinely believed she would intentionally go climbing about the side of a floating dirigible.”

— Gail Carriger

237. “I have always been hers. Although she is taking her time accepting it.” “I.”

— Gail Carriger

238. “Rue was not above fabricating fate, if it would not be tempted.”

— Gail Carriger

239. “Footwear, after all, was a serious commitment.”

— Gail Carriger

240. “It is a valuable thing for an intelligencer to be forgotten.”

— Gail Carriger

241. “Professor Braithwope was undergoing a very dangerous test indeed. For queen and country, the potentate had said. For science, Sophronia thought.”

— Gail Carriger

242. “Silence descended while they all analysed her words for hidden meaning. They were lost because there was none. Simplicity of truth and purpose was rare in their world. Arsenic wanted her mark of existence to be kind. She didn’t think there was anything wrong or less powerful about that choice.”

— Gail Carriger

243. “And so we glide in on the wisps of receding fog, emerging out of the white with the rays of the dying sun highlighting all our puffy majesty.′ Dimity was moved by loss to muttering poetic twaddle.”

— Gail Carriger

244. “Miss Tarabotti pinched him for such blatant innuendo. It did not matter where she pinched, as the earl was a bare canvas of pinchability.”

— Gail Carriger

245. “I assure you, Lord Maccon, I am not the kind of girl to around hallucinating hedgehogs all willy-nilly. And I resent that you should think so.”

— Gail Carriger

246. “I suppose that saves us from having to determine what to do with a butler who goes around killing people. It certainly reflects badly upon our domestic staff. Still, I shall miss him. There was a man who knew how to brew a good cup of tea.”

— Gail Carriger

247. “Someone was trying to kill Lady Alexia Maccon. It was most inconvenient, as she was in a dreadful hurry.”

— Gail Carriger

248. “Can you imagine... the detrimental effect on your marriage prospects, to be found unchaperoned in a library with a dead vampire!”

— Gail Carriger

249. “Where does one purchase a mustache in London? Fleet Street?”

— Gail Carriger

250. “Desperately Dimity mentioned badminton. I mean to say, who doesn’t have opinions on badminton? Everyone has opinions on badminton.”

— Gail Carriger