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Top 200 Garrison Keillor Quotes (2025 Update)
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Garrison Keillor Quote: “Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That’s what they do for a living.”

201. “Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That’s what they do for a living.”

— Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor Quote: “If you can’t trust your can open, then what?”

202. “If you can’t trust your can open, then what?”

— Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor Quote: “People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.”

203. “People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.”

— Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor Quote: “All the best of you is in the old tongue, but when you speak your best in America you become a yokel, a dumb Norskie, and when you speak English, an idiot.”

204. “All the best of you is in the old tongue, but when you speak your best in America you become a yokel, a dumb Norskie, and when you speak English, an idiot.”

— Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor Quote: “What liberals must conserve is the middle class: the stable family who can afford to enjoy music and theater and take the kids to Europe someday and put money in the collection plate and save for college and keep up the home and be secure against catastrophe. This family has taken big hits in payroll taxes and loss of buying power and a certain suppressed panic about job security.”

205. “What liberals must conserve is the middle class: the stable family who can afford to enjoy music and theater and take the kids to Europe someday and put money in the collection plate and save for college and keep up the home and be secure against catastrophe. This family has taken big hits in payroll taxes and loss of buying power and a certain suppressed panic about job security.”

— Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor Quote: “Demagogues thrive in dim light.”

206. “Demagogues thrive in dim light.”

— Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor Quote: “Napoleon said, “The main use of religion is to keep the common people from murdering the rich.”

207. “Napoleon said, “The main use of religion is to keep the common people from murdering the rich.”

— Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor Quote: “A major cause of injury to children is parents rushing to the scene. The panic reflex. Some children love to scream for the thrill of making immense people move fast. I remember that, on a quiet day, my sister and I in the backyard wondered, “Where’s Mom?” Upstairs, we thought. So I screamed, “MOM.” She made it down in two seconds. A good pair of wheels for an old lady.”

208. “A major cause of injury to children is parents rushing to the scene. The panic reflex. Some children love to scream for the thrill of making immense people move fast. I remember that, on a quiet day, my sister and I in the backyard wondered, “Where’s Mom?” Upstairs, we thought. So I screamed, “MOM.” She made it down in two seconds. A good pair of wheels for an old lady.”

— Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor Quote: “If it were not for the truth of fiction there would not be any truth at all.”

209. “If it were not for the truth of fiction there would not be any truth at all.”

— Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor Quote: “To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.”

210. “To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.”

— Garrison Keillor

Christian Quotes

Christian Quotes

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Christian Quotes

Christian Quotes

Storytelling Quotes

Storytelling Quotes

Graduation Quotes

Graduation Quotes

Communication Quotes

Communication Quotes

Funny Wednesday Quotes

Funny Wednesday Quotes

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