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Top 500 H. L. Mencken Quotes (2024 Update)
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H. L. Mencken Quote: “The saddest life is that of a political aspirant under democracy. His failure is ignominious and his success is disgraceful.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Criticism is prejudice made plausible.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The motive of fear is the be-all and end-all of religion.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “What is the function that a clergyman performs in the world? Answer: He gets his living by assuring idiots that he can save them from an imaginary hell.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The only way for a reporter to look at a politician is down.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Deep within the heart of every evangelist lies the wreck of a car salesman.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The New Deal began, like the Salvation Army, by promising to save humanity. It ended, again like the Salvation Army, by running flop-houses and disturbing the peace.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “There are two kinds of music; German music and bad music.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The way for newspapers to meet the competition of radio and television is simply to get out better papers.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Temptation is a woman’s weapon and man’s excuse.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “If the average man is made in God’s image, then such a man as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “If all the lawyers were hanged tomorrow, and their bones were sold to a mah jong factory, we’d all be freer and safer, and our taxes would be reduced by almost a half.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Let’s not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “He who eats alone chokes alone.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Man’s objection to love is that it dies hard; woman’s, that when it is dead, it stays dead.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “If x is the population of the United States and y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that x times y is less than y.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The war on privilege will never end. Its next great campaign will be against the privileges of the underprivileged.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Politics, as hopeful men practise it in the world, consists mainly of the delusion that a change in form is a change in substance.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “There is, in fact, nothing about religious opinions that entitles them to any more respect than other opinions get. On the contrary, they tend to be noticeably silly.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Economic independence is the foundation of the only sort of freedom worth a damn.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “No one in this world, so far as I know – and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me – has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Remorse-Regret that one waited so long to do it.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And even if he is not romantic personally he is very apt to spread discontent among those who are.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Everyman is thoroughly happy twice in his life, just after he has met his first love, and just after he has left his last one.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “All government is, in its essence, organized exploitation, and in virtually all of its existing forms it is the implacable enemy of every industrious and well-disposed man.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “I believe in only one thing and that thing is human liberty.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “I can’t imagine a genuinely intelligent boy getting much out of college, even out of a good college, save it be a cynical habit of mind.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Man makes love by braggadocio, and woman makes love by listening.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Penetrating so many secrets, we cease to believe in the unknowable. But there it sits nevertheless, calmly licking its chops.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The best teacher of children, in brief, is one who is essentially childlike.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “We must be prepared to pay a price for freedom, for no price that is ever asked for it is half the cost of doing without it.”
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