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Top 500 H. L. Mencken Quotes (2024 Update)
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H. L. Mencken Quote: “A fool who, after plain warning, persists in dosing himself with dangerous drugs should be free to do so, for his death is a benefit to the race in general.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “If the average man is made in God’s image, then such a man as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Temptation is a woman’s weapon and man’s excuse.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is true because he gets pleasure out of it.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Man’s objection to love is that it dies hard; woman’s, that when it is dead, it stays dead.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “He who eats alone chokes alone.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “All government, in its essence, is a conspiracy against the superior man: its one permanent object is to oppress him and cripple him.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The chief difference between free capitalism and State socialism seems to be this: that under the former a man pursues his own advantage openly, frankly and honestly, whereas under the latter he does so hypocritically and under false pretenses.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Remorse-Regret that one waited so long to do it.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Democracy is grounded upon so childish a complex of fallacies that they must be protected by a rigid system of taboos, else even halfwits would argue it to pieces. Its first concern must be to penalize the free play of ideas.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Everyman is thoroughly happy twice in his life, just after he has met his first love, and just after he has left his last one.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The saddest life is that of a political aspirant under democracy. His failure is ignominious and his success is disgraceful.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The motive of fear is the be-all and end-all of religion.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “What is the function that a clergyman performs in the world? Answer: He gets his living by assuring idiots that he can save them from an imaginary hell.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “I can’t imagine a genuinely intelligent boy getting much out of college, even out of a good college, save it be a cynical habit of mind.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Man makes love by braggadocio, and woman makes love by listening.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The only way for a reporter to look at a politician is down.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Penetrating so many secrets, we cease to believe in the unknowable. But there it sits nevertheless, calmly licking its chops.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “We must be prepared to pay a price for freedom, for no price that is ever asked for it is half the cost of doing without it.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “No one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The smallest atom of truth represents some man’s bitter toil and agony; for every ponderable chunk of it there is a brave truth-seeker’s grave upon some lonely ash-dump and a soul roasting in hell.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The double standard of morality will survive in this world so long as the woman whose husband has been lured away is favoured with the sympathetic tears of other women, and a man whose wife has made off is laughed at by other men.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A Puritan is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might be having a good time.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “There’s really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “If all the lawyers were hanged tomorrow, and their bones were sold to a mah jong factory, we’d all be freer and safer, and our taxes would be reduced by almost a half.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The most popular man under a democracy is not the most democratic man, but the most despotic man. The common folk delight in the exactions of such a man. They like him to boss them. Their natural gait is the goose step.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly. He is like a watch of which the most that can be said is that its cosmetic effect is good.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Let’s not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “I hate sports the way people who like sports hate common sense.”
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