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H. L. Mencken Quotes
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H. L. Mencken Quote: “Taxation, for example, is eternally lively; it concerns nine-tenths of us more directly than either smallpox or golf, and has just as much drama in it; moreover, it has been mellowed and made gay by as many gaudy, preposterous theories.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The way to deal with superstition is not to be polite to it, but to tackle it with all arms, and so rout it, cripple it, and make it forever infamous and ridiculous.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A skeptic as to all ideas, including especially my own, I have never suffered a pang when the ideas of some other imbecile prevailed.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The only guarantee of the Bill of Rights which continues to have any force and effect is the one prohibiting quartering troops on citizens in time of peace. All the rest have been disposed of by judicial interpretation and legislative whittling.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Living with a dog is easy- like living with an idealist.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “All the benefit that a New Yorker gets out of Kansas is no more than what he might get out of Saskatchewan, the Argentine pampas, of Siberia. But New York to a Kansan is not only a place where he may get drunk, look at dirty shows and buy bogus antiques; it is also a place where he may enforce his dunghill ideas upon his betters.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “When a private citizen is robbed, a worthy man is deprived of the fruits of his industry and thrift; when the government is robbed, the worst that happens is that certain rogues and loafers have less money to play with than they had before.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The common notion that free speech prevails in the United States always makes me laugh.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The only way to reconcile science and religion is to set up something which is not science and something that is not religion.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Psychotherapy is the theory that the patient will probably get well anyhow and is certainly a damn fool.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Why assume so glibly that the God who presumably created the universe is still running it? It is certainly conceivable that He may have finished it and then turned it over to lesser gods to operate.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The Catholic clergy seldom bother to make their arguments plausible; it is plain that they have little respect for human intelligence, and indeed little belief in its existence.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Genius: the ability to prolong one’s childhood.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “There are no mute, inglorious Miltons, save in the hallucinations of poets. The one sound test of a Milton is that he functions as a Milton.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “War may make a fool of man, but it by no means degrades him; on the contrary, it tends to exalt him, and its net effects are much like those of motherhood on women.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Why writers write I do not know. As well ask why a hen lays an egg or why a cow stands patiently while an underprivileged farmer burglarizes her.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Whatever the label on the parties, or the war cries issuing from the demagogues who lead them, the practical choice is between the plutocracy on the one side and a rabble of preposterous impossibilists on the other.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “There is nothing worse than an idle hour, with no occupation offering. People who have many such hours are simply animals waiting docilely for death. We all come to that state soon or late. It is the curse of senility.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Puccini – silver macaroni, exquisitely tangled.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Capitalism under democracy has a further advantage: its enemies, even when it is attacked, are scattered and weak, and it is usually easily able to array one half of them against the other half, and thus dispose of both.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “How do they taste? They taste like more.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The life of man in this world is like the life of a fly in a room filled with 100 boys, each armed with a fly-swatter.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The worst government is the most moral.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “If experience teaches us anything at all, it teaches us this: that a good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it’s good-by to the Bill of Rights.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The law is a sort of hocus-pocus science that smiles in your face while it picks your pocket.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “No matter how much a woman loved a man, it would still give her a glow to see him commit suicide for her.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “What restrains us from killing is partly fear of punishment, partly moral scruple, and partly what may be described as a sense of humor.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “On the one hand, we may tell the truth, regardless of consequences, and on the other hand we may mellow it and sophisticate it to make it humane and tolerable.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The learned are seldom pretty fellows, and in many cases their appearance tends to discourage a love of study in the young.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The Christian always swears a bloody oath that he will never do it again. The civilized man simply resolves to be a bit more careful next time.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Capital punishment has probably been responsible for a good deal of human progress. The overwhelming majority of those executed were of the sort whose departures for bliss eternal improved the average intelligence and decency of the race.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The Old Testament, as everyone who has looked into it is aware, drips with blood; there is, indeed, no more bloody chronicle in all the literature of the world.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “It is almost impossible for an Anglo-Saxon to write of sex without being dirty.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Richard Strauss – Old Home Week in Gomorrah.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Some boys go to college and eventually succeed in getting out. Others go to college and never succeed in getting out. The latter are called professors.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “As if paralyzed by the national fear of ideas, the democratic distrust of whatever strikes beneath the prevailing platitudes, it evades all resolute and honest dealing with what, after all, must be every healthy literature’s elementary materials.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Perhaps the most revolting character that the United States ever produced was the Christian Businessman.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The notion that artists flourish upon adversity and misunderstanding, that they are able to function to the utmost in an atmosphere of indifference or hostility – this notion is nine-tenths nonsense.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Liberals have many tails and chase them all.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright.”
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