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Top 500 H. L. Mencken Quotes (2023 Update)
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H. L. Mencken Quote: “A man’s satisfaction with his salary depends on whether he makes more than his wife’s sister’s husband.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “What ass first let loose the doctrine that the suffrage is a high boon and voting a noble privilege?”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “I believe that all government is evil, in that all government must necessarily make war on liberty, and that the democratic government is at least as bad as any of the other forms.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The plain people, hereafter as in the past, will continue to make their own language, and the best that grammarians can do is to follow after it, haltingly, and not often with much insight into it.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The two main ideas that run through all of my writing, whether it be literary criticism or political polemic are these: I am strong in favor of liberty and I hate fraud.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Hanging one scoundrel, it appears, does not deter the next. Well, what of it? The first one is at least disposed of.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Religion deserves no more respect than a pile of garbage.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Bridges would not be safer if only people who knew the proper definition of a real number were allowed to design them.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That’s the way the mind of man operates.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Christian endeavor is notoriously hard on female pulchritude.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The book of Genesis, a farrago of nonsense so wholly absurd that even Sunday-school scholars have to be threatened with Hell to make them accept it.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “I am against slavery simply because I dislike slaves.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “In the long run all battles are lost, and so are all wars.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The great achievement of liberal Protestantism was to make God boring.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain disdain; he is anything but her ideal. In consequence, she cannot help feeling that her children are cruelly handicapped by the fact that he is their father.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Religion is a conceited effort to deny the most obvious realities.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “We have had more brilliant Presidents than Cleveland, and one or two who were considerably more profound, but we have never had one, at least since Washington, whose fundamental character was solider and more admirable.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “To believe that Russia has got rid of the evils of capitalism takes a special kind of mind. It is the same kind of mind that believes that a Holy Roller has got rid of sin.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “No married woman ever trusts her husband absolutely, nor does she ever act as if she did trust him. Her utmost confidence is as wary as an American pickpocket’s confidence that the policeman on the beat will stay bought.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites?”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Suicide is a belated acquiescence in the opinion of one’s wife’s relatives.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Shave a gorilla and it would be almost impossible, at twenty paces, to distinguish him from a heavyweight champion of the world. Skin a chimpanzee, and it would take an autopsy to prove he was not a theologian.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The sort of man who likes to spend his time watching a cage of monkeys chase one another, or a lion gnaw its tail, or a lizard catch flies, is precisely the sort of man whose mental weakness should be combated at the public expense, not fostered.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Youth, though it may lack knowledge, is certainly not devoid of intelligence; it sees through shams with sharp and terrible eyes.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The only way to success in American public life lies in flattering and kowtowing to the mob.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Sometimes the idiots outvote the sensible people.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “I have little belief in human progress. The human race is incurably idiotic. It will never be happy.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A woman wishes to mother a man simply because she sees into his helplessness, his need of an amiable environment, his touching self-delusion.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “A man full of faith is simply one who has lost the capacity for clear and realistic thought.”
H. L. Mencken Quote: “The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.”
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