Top 500 H. L. Mencken Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

— H. L. Mencken

Featured in: Humor Quotes

2. “For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.”

— H. L. Mencken

3. “There comes a time in every man’s life when he’s consumed by the desire to spit on his palms, hoist the black flag and start cutting throats.”

— H. L. Mencken

4. “Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.”

— H. L. Mencken

5. “For the habitual truth-teller and truth-seeker, indeed, the whole world has very little liking. He is always unpopular.”

— H. L. Mencken

6. “Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.”

— H. L. Mencken

Featured in: Ignorance Quotes

7. “You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.”

— H. L. Mencken

8. “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, and intolerable...”

— H. L. Mencken

9. “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.”

— H. L. Mencken

Featured in: Freedom Quotes

10. “There is always an easy solution to every problem – neat, plausible, and wrong.”

— H. L. Mencken

11. “The best client is a scared millionaire.”

— H. L. Mencken

12. “When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.”

— H. L. Mencken

13. “On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

— H. L. Mencken

14. “Honor is simply the morality of superior men.”

— H. L. Mencken

15. “The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.”

— H. L. Mencken

16. “The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.”

— H. L. Mencken

17. “The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.”

— H. L. Mencken

18. “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.”

— H. L. Mencken

19. “Adultery is the application of democracy to love.”

— H. L. Mencken

20. “Those who can’t teach – administrate. Those who can’t administrate – go into politics.”

— H. L. Mencken

21. “Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

— H. L. Mencken

Featured in: Being Happy Quotes

22. “Every complex problem has a simple solution that doesn’t work.”

— H. L. Mencken

23. “Morality is doing what is right regardless of what you are told. Obedience is doing what is told regardless of what is right.”

— H. L. Mencken

24. “A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”

— H. L. Mencken

25. “Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.”

— H. L. Mencken

26. “I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.”

— H. L. Mencken

27. “A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”

— H. L. Mencken

28. “The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.”

— H. L. Mencken

29. “There is no idea so stupid that you can’t find a professor who will believe it.”

— H. L. Mencken

30. “Never argue with a man whose job depends on not being convinced.”

— H. L. Mencken

31. “Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration – courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, above all, love of the truth.”

— H. L. Mencken

32. “The State doesn’t just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey.”

— H. L. Mencken

33. “You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.”

— H. L. Mencken

34. “Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong.”

— H. L. Mencken

35. “Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true.”

— H. L. Mencken

36. “No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.”

— H. L. Mencken

Featured in: Marriage Quotes

37. “The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do.”

— H. L. Mencken

38. “There are no dull subjects. There are only dull writers.”

— H. L. Mencken

39. “The average man’s love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary. It takes a special sort of man to understand and enjoy liberty and he is usually an outlaw in democratic societies.”

— H. L. Mencken

40. “The central belief of every moron is that he is the victim of a mysterious conspiracy against his common rights and true deserts.”

— H. L. Mencken

41. “Our whole practical government is grounded in mob psychology and the Boobus Americanus will follow any command that promises to make him safer.”

— H. L. Mencken

42. “The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.”

— H. L. Mencken

43. “Life is a dead-end street.”

— H. L. Mencken

44. “Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.”

— H. L. Mencken

45. “We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.”

— H. L. Mencken

46. “Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.”

— H. L. Mencken

47. “The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”

— H. L. Mencken

48. “Alimony – the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.”

— H. L. Mencken

49. “Never underestimate the bad taste of the American public.”

— H. L. Mencken

50. “The only really happy folk are married women and single men.”

— H. L. Mencken