Top 500 H. L. Mencken Quotes (2024 Update)
Page 6 of 10

251. “When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.”

— H. L. Mencken

252. “I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.”

— H. L. Mencken

253. “Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality.”

— H. L. Mencken

254. “Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.”

— H. L. Mencken

255. “Whenever “A” attempts by law to impose his moral standards upon “B,” “A” is most likely a scoundrel.”

— H. L. Mencken

256. “Osteopath – One who argues that all human ills are caused by the pressure of hard bone upon soft tissue. The proof of his theory isto be found in the heads of those who believe it.”

— H. L. Mencken

257. “Correct spelling, indeed, is one of the arts that are far more esteemed by schoolma’ams than by practical men, neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world.”

— H. L. Mencken

258. “The idea that the sole aim of punishment is to prevent crime is obviously grounded upon the theory that crime can be prevented, which is almost as dubious as the notion that poverty can be prevented.”

— H. L. Mencken

259. “If there was ever a dissenter from the national optimismit was surely Edgar Allan Poe – without question the bravest and mostoriginal, if perhaps also the least orderly and judicious, of all the critics that we have produced.”

— H. L. Mencken

260. “My guess is that well over eighty per cent. of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought...”

— H. L. Mencken

261. “Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.”

— H. L. Mencken

262. “The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack.”

— H. L. Mencken

263. “I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.”

— H. L. Mencken

264. “The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.”

— H. L. Mencken

265. “The more a man dreams, the less he believes.”

— H. L. Mencken

266. “History deals mainly with captains and kings, gods and prophets, exploiters and despoilers, not with useful men.”

— H. L. Mencken

267. “The only really respectable Protestants are the fundamentalists. Unfortunately, they are also palpable idiots.”

— H. L. Mencken

268. “I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don’t want to meet them.”

— H. L. Mencken

269. “The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.”

— H. L. Mencken

270. “Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted.”

— H. L. Mencken

271. “I am suspicious of all the things that the average people believes.”

— H. L. Mencken

272. “On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.”

— H. L. Mencken

273. “Women in general seem to me to be appreciably more intelligent than men. A great many of them suffer in silence from the imbecilities of their husbands.”

— H. L. Mencken

274. “A man’s women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity.”

— H. L. Mencken

275. “The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is begged by the woman.”

— H. L. Mencken

276. “Pastor: One employed by the wicked to prove to them by his example that virtue doesn’t pay.”

— H. L. Mencken

277. “A man’s satisfaction with his salary depends on whether he makes more than his wife’s sister’s husband.”

— H. L. Mencken

278. “Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.”

— H. L. Mencken

279. “A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.”

— H. L. Mencken

280. “How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman’s laugh.”

— H. L. Mencken

281. “A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.”

— H. L. Mencken

282. “Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.”

— H. L. Mencken

283. “They have taken the care and upbringing of children out of the hands of parents, where it belongs, and thrown it upon a gang of irresponsible and unintelligent quacks.”

— H. L. Mencken

284. “Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.”

— H. L. Mencken

285. “The natural tendency of every government is to grow steadily worse-that is, to grow more satisfactory to those who constitute it and less satisfactory to those who support it.”

— H. L. Mencken

286. “A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.”

— H. L. Mencken

287. “The American people, I am convinced, really detest free speech. At the slightest alarm they are ready and eager to put it down.”

— H. L. Mencken

288. “To the best of my knowledge and belief, the average American newspaper, even of the so-called better sort, is not only quite as bad as Upton Sinclair says it is, but 10 times worse.”

— H. L. Mencken

289. “Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.”

— H. L. Mencken

290. “The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable.”

— H. L. Mencken

291. “God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, and the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in his arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; he will set them above their betters.”

— H. L. Mencken

292. “A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.”

— H. L. Mencken

293. “The ideal state for a philosopher, indeed, is celibacy tempered by polygamy.”

— H. L. Mencken

294. “Happiness is peace after strife, the overcoming of difficulties, the feeling of security and well-being. The only really happy folk are married women and single men.”

— H. L. Mencken

295. “The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well-to-do.”

— H. L. Mencken

296. “Anyhow, the hole in the donut is at least digestible.”

— H. L. Mencken

297. “Jealousy is a keen observer, but looks for all the wrong signs.”

— H. L. Mencken

298. “Don’t overestimate the decency of the human race.”

— H. L. Mencken

299. “Sometimes the idiots outvote the sensible people.”

— H. L. Mencken

300. “Hanging one scoundrel, it appears, does not deter the next. Well, what of it? The first one is at least disposed of.”

— H. L. Mencken