Top 200 Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (2024 Update)
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Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there’s a chance it’ll feel new to the audience and we’ll have found something.”

201. “Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there’s a chance it’ll feel new to the audience and we’ll have found something.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “We sold ‘Seinfeld’ all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.”

202. “We sold ‘Seinfeld’ all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “There is no more embarrassing thing in my life that the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.”

203. “There is no more embarrassing thing in my life that the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I’m crass, but not that crass.”

204. “I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I’m crass, but not that crass.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.”

205. “The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “Why would you want to work for a living if you could just joke around? Being a celebrity expands your commercial possibilities.”

206. “Why would you want to work for a living if you could just joke around? Being a celebrity expands your commercial possibilities.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “I’d like to do one of those jumps they do in the movies; in a car, over a bridge, in the air with a huge explosion. It would be a final moment of entertainment.”

207. “I’d like to do one of those jumps they do in the movies; in a car, over a bridge, in the air with a huge explosion. It would be a final moment of entertainment.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don’t these idiots who run the news programs know we don’t want to read? That’s why we’re watching TV.”

208. “I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don’t these idiots who run the news programs know we don’t want to read? That’s why we’re watching TV.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “Of course we all try and save time. Cutting corners, little short cuts. But no matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there’s no extra time saved up. You’ll be going “what do you mean there’s no time?”

209. “Of course we all try and save time. Cutting corners, little short cuts. But no matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there’s no extra time saved up. You’ll be going “what do you mean there’s no time?”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.”

210. “Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “I’ve compiled a book from the Internet. It’s a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people.”

211. “I’ve compiled a book from the Internet. It’s a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “I like definitive things.”

212. “I like definitive things.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “The only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a chance to do what they do.”

213. “The only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a chance to do what they do.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.”

214. “The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn’t have that kind of personality, and it’s a terrifying thing to say.”

215. “The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn’t have that kind of personality, and it’s a terrifying thing to say.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “I won’t do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can’t, it’s not gonna make the team.”

216. “I won’t do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can’t, it’s not gonna make the team.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “I only do a show when there’s somebody I want to talk to.”

217. “I only do a show when there’s somebody I want to talk to.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I’m ready to handle whatever I have to handle.”

218. “Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I’m ready to handle whatever I have to handle.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “I remember thinking, “Well, but I wouldn’t have to be that funny anyway. I would just have to be funny enough to buy a loaf of Wonder bread and a jar of Skippy peanut butter a week.” I could easily survive on that.”

219. “I remember thinking, “Well, but I wouldn’t have to be that funny anyway. I would just have to be funny enough to buy a loaf of Wonder bread and a jar of Skippy peanut butter a week.” I could easily survive on that.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “I love those small airplane bathrooms. It’s like your own little apartment on the plane. You go in, close the door, the light comes right on. It’s a little surprise part every time you go in.”

220. “I love those small airplane bathrooms. It’s like your own little apartment on the plane. You go in, close the door, the light comes right on. It’s a little surprise part every time you go in.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “Sometimes I want to go back to the old flip phone. One of those old-people ones that they advertise on TV with the giant buttons like floor tiles.”

221. “Sometimes I want to go back to the old flip phone. One of those old-people ones that they advertise on TV with the giant buttons like floor tiles.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “Adulthood is the ability to be totally bored and remain standing.”

222. “Adulthood is the ability to be totally bored and remain standing.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “The most annoying thing about the couple of times that I worked in office is that when you show up in the morning you say “hi” to everyone and then for some reason, you have to continue to greet these people all day every time you see them.”

223. “The most annoying thing about the couple of times that I worked in office is that when you show up in the morning you say “hi” to everyone and then for some reason, you have to continue to greet these people all day every time you see them.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quote: “Friends, family, school, they were just obstacles in the way of getting more books.”

224. “Friends, family, school, they were just obstacles in the way of getting more books.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

Quotes About Stories

Quotes About Stories

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Quotes About Stories

Quotes About Stories

Sarcastic Quotes

Sarcastic Quotes

Being Single Quotes

Being Single Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

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Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

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