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Top 300 Jimmy Fallon Quotes (2025 Update)
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Jimmy Fallon Quote: “Big news from last night’s Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.”

301. “Big news from last night’s Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “Marco Rubio’s presidential campaign has raised $40 million in the last week. When he heard that, Rubio said, ‘Hey, any chance I can drop out of the race and just keep the 40 million?’”

302. “Marco Rubio’s presidential campaign has raised $40 million in the last week. When he heard that, Rubio said, ‘Hey, any chance I can drop out of the race and just keep the 40 million?’”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial.”

303. “A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “I got every Dan Shaughnessy book known to man.”

304. “I got every Dan Shaughnessy book known to man.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “Hillary Clinton wrote an Op-Ed for a paper in Iowa about her plans to help the middle class. Middle-class Americans said, ‘Why didn’t you just say that in a speech?’ and she said, ‘Because I charge $200,000 for a speech.’”

305. “Hillary Clinton wrote an Op-Ed for a paper in Iowa about her plans to help the middle class. Middle-class Americans said, ‘Why didn’t you just say that in a speech?’ and she said, ‘Because I charge $200,000 for a speech.’”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “This weekend President Obama attended the annual Gridiron Club Dinner, and during his speech he joked that he is getting older and crankier. Which explains why he announced he no longer supports President Obama.”

306. “This weekend President Obama attended the annual Gridiron Club Dinner, and during his speech he joked that he is getting older and crankier. Which explains why he announced he no longer supports President Obama.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “Senate Democrats blocked President Obama’s trade bill yesterday because they’re worried it could hurt jobs. It’s not an issue for Republicans, since they’ve all found work as presidential candidates.”

307. “Senate Democrats blocked President Obama’s trade bill yesterday because they’re worried it could hurt jobs. It’s not an issue for Republicans, since they’ve all found work as presidential candidates.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “President Obama just made his first presidential trip to the state of Utah. Obama spent his time in Utah just like you’d expect – telling people, ‘Uh, no, I don’t play for the Jazz.’”

308. “President Obama just made his first presidential trip to the state of Utah. Obama spent his time in Utah just like you’d expect – telling people, ‘Uh, no, I don’t play for the Jazz.’”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “President Obama broke a world record after he reached a million followers on Twitter in just five hours. The only guys not following Obama? His Secret Service agents. They lost track months ago.”

309. “President Obama broke a world record after he reached a million followers on Twitter in just five hours. The only guys not following Obama? His Secret Service agents. They lost track months ago.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “A political action committee trying to raise money for a 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign is selling “Ready for Hillary” champagne glasses and Christmas ornaments. Because if one thing improves the holidays, it’s drinking mixed with politics.”

310. “A political action committee trying to raise money for a 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign is selling “Ready for Hillary” champagne glasses and Christmas ornaments. Because if one thing improves the holidays, it’s drinking mixed with politics.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on ‘Face the Nation’ over the weekend. President Bush said there’s a 50 percent chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Then he said, ‘But there’s an 80 percent chance he won’t.’”

311. “Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on ‘Face the Nation’ over the weekend. President Bush said there’s a 50 percent chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Then he said, ‘But there’s an 80 percent chance he won’t.’”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “I can’t believe there are so many people who aren’t us.”

312. “I can’t believe there are so many people who aren’t us.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “Today New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie announced that he’s endorsing Mitt Romney for president. It’s good news for Romney. I mean, you always want Chris Christie on your side. Unless you’re in a canoe.”

313. “Today New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie announced that he’s endorsing Mitt Romney for president. It’s good news for Romney. I mean, you always want Chris Christie on your side. Unless you’re in a canoe.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “The White House announced that President Obama will attend a summit in Kenya this July. When asked if he’s ever been to Kenya, Obama said, ‘Of course. I was born – no, bored – over there. There’s nothing to do in Kenya.’”

314. “The White House announced that President Obama will attend a summit in Kenya this July. When asked if he’s ever been to Kenya, Obama said, ‘Of course. I was born – no, bored – over there. There’s nothing to do in Kenya.’”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “When NBC told me I got the job, I asked, ‘Can we do it from New York?’ There was just silence on the phone.”

315. “When NBC told me I got the job, I asked, ‘Can we do it from New York?’ There was just silence on the phone.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “John McCain addressed critics who believe he will be too old to run for a sixth term in the Senate, saying that he’s still healthy and ready to go. Then people around McCain said, ‘Why is he talking to that mannequin?’”

316. “John McCain addressed critics who believe he will be too old to run for a sixth term in the Senate, saying that he’s still healthy and ready to go. Then people around McCain said, ‘Why is he talking to that mannequin?’”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is expected to announce tomorrow that he is running for president, making him Hillary Clinton’s only Democratic challenger so far. Or as Hillary put it, ‘Oooo, appetizers!’”

317. “Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is expected to announce tomorrow that he is running for president, making him Hillary Clinton’s only Democratic challenger so far. Or as Hillary put it, ‘Oooo, appetizers!’”

— Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quote: “Rand Paul is officially running for president. He even revealed his campaign slogan, which is ‘Defeat the Washington machine. Unleash the American dream.’ It’s hard to tell if he’s running for president or doing an infomercial for Bowflex.”

318. “Rand Paul is officially running for president. He even revealed his campaign slogan, which is ‘Defeat the Washington machine. Unleash the American dream.’ It’s hard to tell if he’s running for president or doing an infomercial for Bowflex.”

— Jimmy Fallon

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