Top 300 Mitch Hedberg Quotes (2023 Update)
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Mitch Hedberg Quote: “I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, “Pass the salt.” I said, “Screw you! Sit closer to the salt.””

301. “I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, “Pass the salt.” I said, “Screw you! Sit closer to the salt.””

— Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quote: “I like it when people come to see me again, but you end up playing to that person only. You know there’s other people out there, but you also know that the person who came to see you again is there. You’re like, “I hope he’s happy again.””

302. “I like it when people come to see me again, but you end up playing to that person only. You know there’s other people out there, but you also know that the person who came to see you again is there. You’re like, “I hope he’s happy again.””

— Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quote: “I’ve not really been angling to be a comedian. I knew comics and I loved them and I loved being funny, but I didn’t understand the whole concept of becoming one. My first couple of times on stage, I was like, “This is what I’m doing for sure.” I was so excited.”

303. “I’ve not really been angling to be a comedian. I knew comics and I loved them and I loved being funny, but I didn’t understand the whole concept of becoming one. My first couple of times on stage, I was like, “This is what I’m doing for sure.” I was so excited.”

— Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quote: “I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. “Dude who is attacking me – come a little closer!””

304. “I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. “Dude who is attacking me – come a little closer!””

— Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quote: “If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.”

305. “If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.”

— Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quote: “I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.”

306. “I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.”

— Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quote: “Earlier I’ve done hatever I could get my hands on to do for a living. I tried a couple of different things, but kitchen work was the best for me, because I took to a nomadic lifestyle before I started doing comedy. If you travel and get to a town and need a job, restaurants are always there.”

307. “Earlier I’ve done hatever I could get my hands on to do for a living. I tried a couple of different things, but kitchen work was the best for me, because I took to a nomadic lifestyle before I started doing comedy. If you travel and get to a town and need a job, restaurants are always there.”

— Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quote: “Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.”

308. “Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.”

— Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quote: “I read that MTV’s Real World got 40,000 applications. That’s amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.”

309. “I read that MTV’s Real World got 40,000 applications. That’s amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.”

— Mitch Hedberg

Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

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Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

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Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Positive Quotes

Positive Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Steve Jobs Quotes

Steve Jobs Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS APPLE

Inspirational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

COURAGE MOTIVATIONAL STRENGTH

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