Top 160 Rita Rudner Quotes (2024 Update)
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Rita Rudner Quote: “I don’t want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I’ll just make you laugh.”

151. “I don’t want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I’ll just make you laugh.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.”

152. “I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “I love to write jokes and that’s all I think about.”

153. “I love to write jokes and that’s all I think about.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.”

154. “Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “After you’ve dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what’s wrong with them so the next person doesn’t have to start from scratch.”

155. “After you’ve dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what’s wrong with them so the next person doesn’t have to start from scratch.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “All men would still really like to own a train set.”

156. “All men would still really like to own a train set.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ on what? On fire?”

157. “Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ on what? On fire?”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “Los Angeles is a very transient town. It’s the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.”

158. “Los Angeles is a very transient town. It’s the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “The logic was, there weren’t too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.”

159. “The logic was, there weren’t too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren’t home.”

160. “My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren’t home.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “Men have better self-images than women. You know what I’ve never seen in a men’s magazine? A makeover.”

161. “Men have better self-images than women. You know what I’ve never seen in a men’s magazine? A makeover.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they’re married to.”

162. “Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they’re married to.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “Don’t try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.”

163. “Don’t try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.”

164. “I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “Wives are people who think it’s against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.”

165. “Wives are people who think it’s against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.”

166. “I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “I have a hold limit that I’ve set for myself. I hold until I start to imagine myself killing the person on the other end. Then I hang up and regroup.”

167. “I have a hold limit that I’ve set for myself. I hold until I start to imagine myself killing the person on the other end. Then I hang up and regroup.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “We live in Los Angeles, where you are expected to move every two to four years, so people can see how well your career is going.”

168. “We live in Los Angeles, where you are expected to move every two to four years, so people can see how well your career is going.”

— Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner Quote: “Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.”

169. “Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.”

— Rita Rudner

Marriage Quotes

Marriage Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Positive Quotes

Positive Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

PREV 1 2 3 4 NEXT

Marriage Quotes

Marriage Quotes

LOVE RELATIONSHIP MARRIAGE

Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

INSPIRATIONAL SUCCESS MOTIVATIONAL

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Positive Quotes

Positive Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Steve Jobs Quotes

Steve Jobs Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS APPLE

Inspirational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

COURAGE MOTIVATIONAL STRENGTH

Swami Vivekananda Quotes

Swami Vivekananda Quotes

LIFE SPIRITUALITY

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