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Top 300 Rodney Dangerfield Quotes (2025 Update)
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Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.”

301. “For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: ‘Basement?’”

302. “Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: ‘Basement?’”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “You live with life’s disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.”

303. “You live with life’s disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “Man, who don’t like spaghetti?”

304. “Man, who don’t like spaghetti?”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler’s checks.”

305. “My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler’s checks.”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “There’s only one thing wrong with my wife’s face – it shows.”

306. “There’s only one thing wrong with my wife’s face – it shows.”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.”

307. “To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “I said to a girl I’d been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I’ll show you where it’s at. She said, You’d better, because the last time I could’nt find it.”

308. “I said to a girl I’d been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I’ll show you where it’s at. She said, You’d better, because the last time I could’nt find it.”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times – three while I was reading it.”

309. “What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times – three while I was reading it.”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield Quote: “You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.”

310. “You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.”

— Rodney Dangerfield

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