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Top 250 Steve Martin Quotes (2022 Update)
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Steve Martin Quote: “Ah, yes. I remember my first beer.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.”
Steve Martin Quote: “If I screw up raising my kids, nothing I achieve will matter much.”
Steve Martin Quote: “If you’re studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life.”
Steve Martin Quote: “So, I can hurt now, or hurt later.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.”
Steve Martin Quote: “She tried to get even with him through psychological warfare but couldn’t, because he didn’t care.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Nothing I do is done by popular demand.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you’re an idiot.”
Steve Martin Quote: “As we get older we either become our worst selves or our best selves.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I’m always looking for something to engage my imagination and take me on a little mental voyage. I just want a new topic in my life.”
Steve Martin Quote: “A friend of mine once asked how to make it in show business and I said “Be so good that they can’t ignore you.” She thought I was being flip but it’s true. The challenge is trying to live up to the opportunities given me.”
Steve Martin Quote: “You kill me and I’ll see that you never work in this town again.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I’m for the Wall Street Occupiers. But will they accept me when they find out I sell packaged mortgage default instruments to children?”
Steve Martin Quote: “The Apple Pie Hubbub was a significant novel for me, because that’s when I first started using verbs.”
Steve Martin Quote: “When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.”
Steve Martin Quote: “The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer. And the joy of writing, when you’re writing from your subconscious, is beautiful – it’s thrilling. When you’re editing, which is your conscious mind, it’s like torture.”
Steve Martin Quote: “There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That’s getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I am a wild and crazy guy!”
Steve Martin Quote: “Relationships end, but they don’t end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.”
Steve Martin Quote: “A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.”
Steve Martin Quote: “There are few takers for the quiet heart.”
Steve Martin Quote: “To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I can juggle. I started juggling as a kid. And when I worked at Disneyland, I knew a juggler there named Christopher Faire, and he taught me how to juggle. I used it in my comedy act for a while.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Anyone who’s ever worked with Meryl Streep always says the same thing: can that woman act! And what’s with all the Hitler memorabilia?”
Steve Martin Quote: “Home to me is when someone comes up to me and says, “Can I get a selfie?” No. It’s where your wife and your family are. It’s the emotional place where you feel like you’re not away from it.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I got a flue shot and now my chimney works perfectly.”
Steve Martin Quote: “An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.”
Steve Martin Quote: “You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.”
Steve Martin Quote: “When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I didn’t worry if a bit got no response, as long as I believed it had enough response to linger.”
Steve Martin Quote: “A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.”
Steve Martin Quote: “She was feeling her bohemian oats.”
Steve Martin Quote: “As a school board we felt it’s an unfair expense to families. The lawsuit has a certain logic to it – if you have free public education, you can’t put these things on top of it. It defeats the purpose.”
Steve Martin Quote: “It’s like painting the same blank canvas over and over and over and over and over. Once the concept is known, you don’t need to see two. And that was in the back of my head, that I was really done artistically with what I had created or pastiched.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I’m working at it.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you get to this point.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Writing is something I took up rather than anything I had an inclination toward. I like acting -delivering someone else’s message – but writing is more of an accomplishment.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I just gave my cat a bath. Now how do I get all this fur off my tounge?”
Steve Martin Quote: “A triangle with four points is what Euclid rides into hell.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.”
Steve Martin Quote: “If you’ve got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you’ve got 71 cents left; But if you’ve got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you’ve still got seventeen grand. There’s a math lesson for you.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I have found that – just as in real life – imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I’ve run into people in my life who were so dramatic; people who are so extreme and so frustrating to be around that you end up thinking about them and talking about them for literally years after your experience with them is over.”
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