Steve Martin Quotes

1. “Be so good they can’t ignore you.”

— Steve Martin

Featured in: Greatness Quotes

2. “Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.”

— Steve Martin

Featured in: Persistence Quotes

3. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

— Steve Martin

4. “It’s pain that changes our lives.”

— Steve Martin

5. “Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”

— Steve Martin

Featured in: Music Quotes

6. “Be undeniably good.”

— Steve Martin

Featured in: Greatness Quotes

7. “Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.”

— Steve Martin

Featured in: Humor Quotes

8. “I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.”

— Steve Martin

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

9. “The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.”

— Steve Martin

10. “Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.”

— Steve Martin

11. “The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.”

— Steve Martin

12. “Or is it that I think too much?”

— Steve Martin

13. “I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.”

— Steve Martin

14. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”

— Steve Martin

15. “The operation was a success, but I’m afraid the doctor is dead.”

— Steve Martin

16. “I’ve heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.”

— Steve Martin

17. “I saw the movie, ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ and was surprised because I didn’t see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they’re crouching and hidden.”

— Steve Martin

18. “No art comes from the conscious mind.”

— Steve Martin

19. “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”

— Steve Martin

20. “I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.”

— Steve Martin

21. “I don’t really manage my time. I really just wait until I’m inspired to do something. And when I’m inspired to do something, it just happens.”

— Steve Martin

22. “How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.”

— Steve Martin

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

23. “All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.”

— Steve Martin

24. “You know what your problem is, it’s that you haven’t seen enough movies – all of life’s riddles are answered in the movies.”

— Steve Martin

25. “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”

— Steve Martin

26. “It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.”

— Steve Martin

27. “First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”

— Steve Martin

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes

28. “Love is a promise delivered already broken.”

— Steve Martin

29. “You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”

— Steve Martin

30. “Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.”

— Steve Martin

31. “I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”

— Steve Martin

32. “I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything anymore if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.”

— Steve Martin

33. “There’s someone out there for everyone-even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.”

— Steve Martin

34. “As much as I remember, I just thought, I want to sing a song that starts normal and ends crazy.”

— Steve Martin

35. “A father carries pictures where his money used to be.”

— Steve Martin

36. “I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.”

— Steve Martin

37. “My problem is that I don’t get the same exhiliration from success as I get depression from failure.”

— Steve Martin

38. “I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.”

— Steve Martin

39. “I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.”

— Steve Martin

40. “I’m not a human being. I’m despicable and disgusting – but that’s where the money is.”

— Steve Martin

41. “I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.”

— Steve Martin

42. “Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.”

— Steve Martin

43. “I have no fear, no fear at all. I wake up, and I have no fear. I go to bed without fear. Fear, fear, fear, fear. Yes, ‘fear’ is a word that is not in my vocabulary.”

— Steve Martin

44. “How many people have never raised their hand before?”

— Steve Martin

45. “I handed in a script last year and the studio didn’t change one word. The word they didn’t change was on page 87.”

— Steve Martin

46. “Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.”

— Steve Martin

47. “Ah, yes. I remember my first beer.”

— Steve Martin

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

48. “If you’re studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life.”

— Steve Martin

49. “I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.”

— Steve Martin

50. “If I screw up raising my kids, nothing I achieve will matter much.”

— Steve Martin