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Top 250 Steve Martin Quotes (2023 Update)
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Steve Martin Quote: “I have found that – just as in real life – imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.”
Steve Martin Quote: “After one of my plays came out, I had mixed reviews, some bad and some good. One day, it dawned on me. I thought, ‘I wrote a play and he wrote a review, and that’s the difference between him and me.’”
Steve Martin Quote: “I think communication is so firsbern.”
Steve Martin Quote: “It’s not tipping I believe in. It’s overtipping.”
Steve Martin Quote: “There is something going on now in Mexico that I happen to think is cruelty to animals. What I’m talking about, of course, is cat juggling.”
Steve Martin Quote: “You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, “Steve, how can you be so funny?” There’s a secret to it, it’s no big deal. Before I go out, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I’m on stage, I feel funny.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!”
Steve Martin Quote: “I would like a wine. The purpose of the wine is to get me drunk. A bad wine will get me as drunk as a good wine. I would like the good wine. And since the result is the same no matter which wine I drink, I’d like to pay the bad wine price.”
Steve Martin Quote: “You can’t make something beautiful by trying to make something beautiful. Something becomes beautiful in the process of trying to be something else.”
Steve Martin Quote: “The banjo is such a happy instrument – you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.”
Steve Martin Quote: “It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Why sip from a tea cup, when you can drink from the river.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I’ve put an umbrella in my mouth and opened it. I sat in a lemon-meringue pie. I’ve done terrible things to my dog with a fork...”
Steve Martin Quote: “There are some people that will not pick up a phone and call you, but if you knock on a door and talk to them, they’ll talk back to you.”
Steve Martin Quote: “If you feel tired midway through, give Neil Patrick Harris a Red Bull and throw some sheet music at him.”
Steve Martin Quote: “To me, torture would be, “I can’t think what to write in the next sentence. I’m stuck.” Torture would be if you didn’t have the next idea.”
Steve Martin Quote: “College totally changed my life. It changed what I believe and what I think about everything. I majored in philosophy.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I’m tired of wasting letters when punctuation will do, period.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Kids like my act because I’m wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there’s a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I’m the leader of the platoon and I run gambling and lotteries, dances and I sell beer illegally. I’m a con man and I’m thoroughly lovable.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I just wanted to be in show business. I didn’t care if I was going to be an actor or a magician or what. Comedy was a point of the least resistance, really. And on the simplest level, I loved comedy.”
Steve Martin Quote: “She had destroyed whatever was between us by making a profound gaffe: She met me.”
Steve Martin Quote: “The course was more plodding than heroic. I did not strive valiantly against doubters but took incremental steps studded with a few intuitive leaps.”
Steve Martin Quote: “With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you’re never off the hook.”
Steve Martin Quote: “We’ve taken what was just once a racetrack and made it a multifaceted gaming destination for the entire region.”
Steve Martin Quote: “All of life’s riddles are answered in the movies.”
Steve Martin Quote: “A remarkable memoir that’s packed with anecdotes, advice and humor, all while maintaining a high level of dignity and self-awareness.”
Steve Martin Quote: “He never complicates a desire by overthinking it, unlike Mirabelle, who spins a cocoon around an idea until it is immobile.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I find animated movies very touching. They reach an audience that’s hard to get with a live-action film.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I can understand the drug thing. So they feel that it’s more important to take the drugs than to do a good show for the people.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.”
Steve Martin Quote: “With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I never had a movie that I wanted to do turned down in my whole life. I always write the script first so it speaks for itself.”
Steve Martin Quote: “With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, and hilarious.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Lord loves a workin’ man; don’t trust whitey.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Lots of women are getting involved. They’re not satisfied just being passengers anymore.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Performing music is a way to do comedy, but without the obligation to do a solid hour, hour and half of a standup. I could intersperse it with music, so it became a really good format for me.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I’m trying to think of other ones. Oh, yeah, I’d say – somebody would buy something and we’d say, and because you are our hundredth customer today, you get a free paperback.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Halle Berry is here, whose win last year broke down barriers for unbelievably hot women.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Writing is extremely personal, and that’s the joy of it for me.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That’s the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I really enjoy the social aspects of music as much as anything.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.”
Steve Martin Quote: “When you’re reaching for a star, there’s a long way to fall.”
Steve Martin Quote: “Yeah, well, we’re all writers, aren’t we? He’s a writer that hasn’t been published, and I’m a writer who hasn’t written anything.”
Steve Martin Quote: “I’m a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.”
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