Top 400 Douglas Adams Quotes (2024 Update)
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301. “What is this? Some sort of galactic hyperhearse?”

— Douglas Adams

302. “The little waiter’s eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.”

— Douglas Adams

303. “He didn’t know why he had become president of the galaxy, except that it seemed a fun thing to be.”

— Douglas Adams

304. “Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?”

— Douglas Adams

305. “Nobleness was one word for making a fuss about the trivial inevitabilities of life, but there were others.”

— Douglas Adams

306. “I didn’t notice I was being set upon by a pickpocket, which I am glad of, because I like to work only with professionals.”

— Douglas Adams

307. “He has personality problems beyond the dreams of analysts.”

— Douglas Adams

308. “Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh.”

— Douglas Adams

309. “It’s guff. It doesn’t advance the action. It makes for nice fat books such as the American market thrives on, but it doesn’t actually get you anywhere.”

— Douglas Adams

310. “So the hours are pretty good then?? he resumed. The Vogon stared down at him as sluggish thoughts moiled around in the murky depths. Yeah,? he said, ’but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy.”

— Douglas Adams

311. “Mc Donalds he thought. There’s no longer any such thing as a Mc Donalds hamburger. He passed out. When he came around seconds later he found he was sobbing for his mother.”

— Douglas Adams

312. “Ow! My brains!”

— Douglas Adams

313. “He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it, which was true.”

— Douglas Adams

314. “I was created to fulfill a function and I failed in it. I negated my own existence.”

— Douglas Adams

315. “Gordon Way’s astonishment at being suddenly shot dead was nothing compared to his astonishment at what happened next.”

— Douglas Adams

316. “Being literate as a writer is good craft, is knowing your job, is knowing how to use your tools properly and not to damage the tools as you use them.”

— Douglas Adams

317. “And for all the richest and most successful merchants life inevitably became rather dull and niggly, and they began to imagine that this was therefore the fault of the worlds they’d settled on.”

— Douglas Adams

318. “I’m so great even I get tongue-tied talking to myself.”

— Douglas Adams

319. “The light was only just visible – except of course that there was no one to see, no witnesses, not this time, but it was nevertheless a light.”

— Douglas Adams

320. “This man is the bee’s knees, Arthur, he is the wasp’s nipples. He is, I would go so far as to say, the entire set of erogenous zones of every major flying insect of the Western world.”

— Douglas Adams

321. “Much to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind. It was very clear and very distinct, and he had now come to recognize these thoughts for what they were. His instinct was to resist them.”

— Douglas Adams

322. “The books people are writing today, they’re too long. You get a little bit of plot, and then pages and pages of Creative Writing. They teach classes in how to do this. They should teach classes in how to stop!”

— Douglas Adams

323. “He actually caught himself saying things like “Yippee,” as he pranced ridiculously round the house.”

— Douglas Adams

324. “Dirk was, for one of the few times in a life of exuberantly prolific loquacity, wordless.”

— Douglas Adams

325. “For as long as he could remember, he’d suffered from a vague nagging feeling of being not all there.”

— Douglas Adams

326. “He felt like an old sponge steeped in paraffin and left in the sun to dry.”

— Douglas Adams

327. “It was his subconscious which told him this – that infuriating part of a person’s brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.”

— Douglas Adams

328. “There is a piece of me that likes to fondly imagine my maverick and rebellious nature, but, more accurately, I like to have a nice and cosy institution that I can rub up against a little bit.”

— Douglas Adams

329. “The air was stifling, but he liked it because it was stifling city air, full of excitingly unpleasant smells, dangerous music, and the distant sound of warring police tribes.”

— Douglas Adams

330. “If everyone knew exactly what I was going to say, then there would be no point in my saying it, would there?”

— Douglas Adams

331. “But for a moment Dirk had a sense of inifinite loss and sadness that somewhere among the frenzy of information noise that daily rattled the lives of men he thought he might have heard a few notes that denoted the movements of gods.”

— Douglas Adams

332. “When the idea comes, I often can’t remember where it came from. I remember very little about writing the first series of Hitchhiker’s. It’s almost as if someone else wrote it.”

— Douglas Adams

333. “In the stillness, a fly would not have dared clear it’s throat.”

— Douglas Adams

334. “Time affords us the ability to blame past errors on others while whole heartedly pronouncing our futures successes.”

— Douglas Adams

335. “Who should play the lead role in a film about me? Dunno. Danny De Vito? Jeff Goldblum? Meryl Streep? Someone of that kind.”

— Douglas Adams

336. “Moving from radio to television, you can take most of the words with you.”

— Douglas Adams

337. “The Saab seethed off into the night. Arthur watched it go, as stunned as a man might be who, having believed himself to be totally blind for five years, suddenly discovers that he had merely been wearing too large a hat.”

— Douglas Adams

338. “It was one of those pictures that children are supposed to like but don’t. Full of endearing little animals doing endearing things, you know?”

— Douglas Adams

339. “He learned to communicate with birds and discovered their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with windspeed, wingspans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries.”

— Douglas Adams

340. “Radio did not kill books and television did not kill radio or movies – what television did kill was cinema newsreel. TV does it much better because it can deliver it instantly. Who wants last week’s news?”

— Douglas Adams

341. “Very strange people, physicists – in my experience the ones who aren’t dead are in some way very ill.”

— Douglas Adams

342. “One always overcompensates for disabilities. I’m thinking of having my entire body surgically removed.”

— Douglas Adams

343. “The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball.”

— Douglas Adams

344. “I love to keep poking and prodding at it. I’ve thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing.”

— Douglas Adams

345. “He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.”

— Douglas Adams

346. “Well, what you have to understand, young lady, is that the Greeks, not content with dominating the culture of the Classical world, are also responsible for the greatest, some would say the only, work of true creative imagination produced this century as well. I refer of course to the Greek ferry timetables. A work of the sublimest fiction. Anyone who has traveled in the Aegean will confirm this. Hmm, yes. I think so.”

— Douglas Adams

347. “You know what a learning experience is? A learning experience is one of those things that says, “You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.”

— Douglas Adams

348. “It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.”

— Douglas Adams

349. “Paradoxes are just the scar tissue. Time and space heal themselves up around them and people simply remember a version of events which makes as much sense as they require it to make.”

— Douglas Adams

350. “None of these facts, however strange or inexplicable, is as strange or inexplicable as the rules of the game of Brockian Ultra Cricket, as played in the higher dimensions. A full set of rules is so massively complicated that the only time they were all bound together in a single volume they underwent gravitational collapse and became a Black Hole.”

— Douglas Adams