“Don’t Panic.”
— Douglas Adams
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
“Reality is frequently inaccurate.”
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”
“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
“So long, and thanks for all the fish.”
“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
“All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.”
“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”
“Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.”
“A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment.”
“It can be very dangerous to see things from somebody else's point of view without the proper training.”
“All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.”
“Life is wasted on the living.”
“The quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead.”
“42 is a nice number that you can take home and introduce to your family.”
“Beethoven tells you what it's like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it's like to be human. Bach tells you what it's like to be the universe.”
“We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win.”
“Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.”
“To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.”
“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory, which states that this has already happened.”
“I’d far rather be happy than right any day.”
“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.”
“Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.”
“In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground.”
“Earth: mostly harmless.”
“Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc., and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons.”
“The single raindrop never feels responsible for the flood.”
“It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.”
“If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else.”
“We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.”
“Solutions nearly always come from the direction you least expect, which means there’s no point trying to look in that direction because it won’t be coming from there.”
“I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you’ve never actually known what the question is.”
“The difference between us and a computer is that, the computer is blindingly stupid, but it is capable of being stupid many, many million times a second.”
“A cup of tea would restore my normality.”
“Let’s think the unthinkable, let’s do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”
“Funny, how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.”
“This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”
“Don’t you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn’t developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don’t expect to see.”
“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”
“If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.”
“If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
“We are not an endangered species ourselves yet, but this is not for lack of trying.”
“You can’t dodge your responsibilities by saying they don’t exist!”
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