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Top 160 Emo Philips Quotes (2025 Update)
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Emo Philips Quote: “They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.”

151. “They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.”

152. “Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “I’ve been at stand-up for years: after a while, you get as jaded as the proverbial gynecologist who no longer enjoys drugging and violating his patients.”

153. “I’ve been at stand-up for years: after a while, you get as jaded as the proverbial gynecologist who no longer enjoys drugging and violating his patients.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “I give money to Unicef because I like the ‘bang for your buck’ aspect. Here’s $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!”

154. “I give money to Unicef because I like the ‘bang for your buck’ aspect. Here’s $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “Even the worst comic is at least somewhat entertaining, if only in a pathological way, for five minutes.”

155. “Even the worst comic is at least somewhat entertaining, if only in a pathological way, for five minutes.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I’m a man. And I can take the wetness!”

156. “When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I’m a man. And I can take the wetness!”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “I thought I was raptured up into the air today; turns out, it was just my gas oven exploding.”

157. “I thought I was raptured up into the air today; turns out, it was just my gas oven exploding.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.”

158. “How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “Writer’s block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.”

159. “Writer’s block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “Some comedians change their style, often to their advantage; but I see no reason why I can’t continue with the “urbane sophisticate” ’til the day I die.”

160. “Some comedians change their style, often to their advantage; but I see no reason why I can’t continue with the “urbane sophisticate” ’til the day I die.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.”

161. “The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “I try not to talk during the day when I have a show that night. My voice is my instrument, just like a saxophonist’s instrument is his saxophone, plus also his voice, if he’s the one between tunes that makes announcements.”

162. “I try not to talk during the day when I have a show that night. My voice is my instrument, just like a saxophonist’s instrument is his saxophone, plus also his voice, if he’s the one between tunes that makes announcements.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “I love England. In fact, they’re getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six months rabies quarantine.”

163. “I love England. In fact, they’re getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six months rabies quarantine.”

— Emo Philips

Emo Philips Quote: “Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.”

164. “Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.”

— Emo Philips

Hilarious Quotes

Hilarious Quotes

Funny Yearbook Quotes

Funny Yearbook Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

Funny Wednesday Quotes

Funny Wednesday Quotes

Funny Monday Quotes

Funny Monday Quotes

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Hilarious Quotes

Hilarious Quotes

Funny Yearbook Quotes

Funny Yearbook Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

Funny Wednesday Quotes

Funny Wednesday Quotes

Funny Monday Quotes

Funny Monday Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

INSPIRATIONAL SUCCESS MOTIVATIONAL

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Positive Quotes

Positive Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Steve Jobs Quotes

Steve Jobs Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS APPLE

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