Top 300 Jenny Lawson Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “A hug is like a strangle you haven’t finished yet.”

— Jenny Lawson

2. “So many of us feel like we’re misfits until we finally find our tribe – the other people who are are strange in the same way – and suddenly everything clicks.”

— Jenny Lawson

3. “When life gives you lemons you should freeze them and use them to throw at your enemies using some sort of trebuchet.”

— Jenny Lawson

4. “Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes look to everyone else’s highlight reel.”

— Jenny Lawson

5. “I can finally see that all the terrible parts of my life, the embarrassing parts, the incidents I wanted to pretend never happened, and the things that make me “weird” and “different,” were actually the most important parts of my life. They were the parts that made me ME.”

— Jenny Lawson

6. “I try to be appreciative of what I have instead of bitter about what I’ve lost.”

— Jenny Lawson

7. “Every time I get scared or feel like I’m not going to be good enough at something, I say that mantra to myself. “Pretend you’re good at it.””

— Jenny Lawson

8. “When we share our struggles we let others know it’s okay to share theirs. And suddenly we realize that the things we were ashamed of are the same things everyone deals with at one time or another. We are so much less alone than we think.”

— Jenny Lawson

9. “Because you are defined not by life’s imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. And because there is joy in embracing – rather than running from – the utter absurdity of life.”

— Jenny Lawson

10. “There will be moments when you have to be a grown-up. Those moments are tricks. Do not fall for them.”

— Jenny Lawson

11. “If you enjoyed high school, you were probably a psychopath or a cheerleader. Or possibly both.”

— Jenny Lawson

12. “The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”

— Jenny Lawson

13. “After all, the most interesting of us have been broken and mended and broken again.”

— Jenny Lawson

14. “If you could hear the insane stuff going on in my head, it would scare the hell out of you. Probably. Or fascinate you. Depends on how easily you’re startled, I guess.”

— Jenny Lawson

15. “Without the dark there isn’t light. Without the pain there is no relief.”

— Jenny Lawson

16. “In short? It is exhausting being me. Pretending to be normal is draining and requires amazing amounts of energy and Xanax.”

— Jenny Lawson

17. “There’s a quote from ‘The Breakfast Club’ that goes “We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it.” I have it on a poster but I took a Sharpie to it and scratched out the word “hiding” because it reminds me that there’s a certain pride and freedom that comes from wearing your unique bizarreness like a badge of honor.”

— Jenny Lawson

18. “It’s amazing how much you’re missing in a depressive state until you start to come out on the other side. It’s like breathing again after being underwater for far too long.”

— Jenny Lawson

19. “Be happy in front of people who hate you. That way they know they haven’t gotten to you. Plus, it pisses them off like crazy.”

— Jenny Lawson

20. “To all who walk the dark path, and to those who walk in the sunshine but hold out a hand in the darkness to travel beside us: Brighter days are coming. Clearer sight will arrive. And you will arrive too. No, it might not be forever. The bright moments might be for a few days at a time, but hold on for those days. Those days are worth the dark.”

— Jenny Lawson

21. “Pretend you’re good at it.”

— Jenny Lawson

22. “I like your skin because it keeps your organs from falling out onto the carpet.”

— Jenny Lawson

23. “You are alive. You have fought and battled them. You are scarred and worn and sometimes exhausted and were perhaps even close to giving up, but you did not.”

— Jenny Lawson

24. “YOU’RE READING. That’s what the sexy people do.”

— Jenny Lawson

25. “I made a note to tell my shrink the breaking news that the medical world finally found the cure for my severe anxiety disorder and that the prescription is “Just stop worrying so much.” My God, we’ve come so far with science.”

— Jenny Lawson

26. “But really, what else are you going to talk about in line at the liquor store? Childhood trauma seems like the natural choice, since it’s the reason why most of us are in line there to begin with.”

— Jenny Lawson

27. “I know that I am crazy. And that has made all the difference.”

— Jenny Lawson

28. “There’s so much shame involved in not being like everyone else. But I learned that the things that made me unique were good. Dealing with problems can be awful. But in the end I got positive results. I don’t think I would have been a writer if I didn’t have anxiety.”

— Jenny Lawson

29. “And Then I Got Stabbed in the Face by a Serial Killer.”

— Jenny Lawson

30. “In fact, most of the pockets you see on women’s pants are just illusions made to taunt you. Or sometimes they really are pockets but they are intentionally sewn closed, as if to say, “I’m letting you have these pockets but I’m sewing them shut for your own good.” And most of us leave them sewn shut because we’d rather look thin than have pockets.”

— Jenny Lawson

31. “Have you ever been homesick for someplace that doesn’t actually exist anymore? Someplace that exists only in your mind?”

— Jenny Lawson

32. “On the other side of fear is freedom. And usually fewer fingers than you started with.”

— Jenny Lawson

33. “One ox, two oxen. One fox, two foxen.”

— Jenny Lawson

34. “I very much own the fact that I’m a misfit. The Internet makes everyone realize they’re screwed up.”

— Jenny Lawson

35. “I’ve considered lobbying the medical field to rename rheumatoid arthritis something sexier, younger, and more exotic. Something like “The Midnight Death,” or “Impending Vampirism.” Or perhaps to name it after someone famous. Like “Lou Gehrig’s disease, part two: THE RECKONING.”

— Jenny Lawson

36. “Eating a peach is like eating a newborn baby’s head. In that it’s all soft and fuzzy. Not that peaches taste like babies. I don’t eat babies. Or peaches, actually. Because they remind me of eating babies. Vicious circle, really.”

— Jenny Lawson

37. “It’s about taking those moments when things are fine and making them amazing, because those moments are what make us who we are, and they’re the same moments we take into battle with us when our brains declare war on our very existence. It’s the difference between “surviving life” and “living life.” It’s the difference between “taking a shower” and “teaching your monkey butler how to shampoo your hair.” It’s the difference between being “sane” and being “furiously happy.”

— Jenny Lawson

38. “You don’t have to go to some special private school to be an artist. Just look at the intricate beauty of cobwebs. Spiders make them with their butts.”

— Jenny Lawson

39. “A house should look lived in, and I consider it clean as long as I don’t stick to it and it doesn’t give me cholera.”

— Jenny Lawson

40. “My primary thoughts during the holidays are ‘Stab. Stab. Stab. Run away.”

— Jenny Lawson

41. “I wish someone had told me this simple but confusing truth: Even when everything’s going your way you can still be sad. Or anxious. Or uncomfortably numb. Because you can’t always control your brain or your emotions even when things are perfect.”

— Jenny Lawson

42. “It’s not that I’m afraid of homeless people any more than non-homeless people. I’m afraid of something much more complicated. I look at them and think, “Is that my future?”

— Jenny Lawson

43. “And maybe one day I’ll be found, and someone will explain to me why I am the way that I am. Or maybe not. After all, some stories aren’t meant to be told.”

— Jenny Lawson

44. “My motto has always been “Time enjoyed is never wasted.” Except replace “enjoyed” with “drunk” and “never wasted” with “never not a good idea.”

— Jenny Lawson

45. “Refrigerators are good for keeping homemade moonshine less gross. Freezers are good for keeping rattlesnakes less angry. Garages are good to hide in when your wife finds either.”

— Jenny Lawson

46. “I know other people who are like me. They take the same drugs as me. They try all the therapies. They are brilliant and amazing and forever broken.”

— Jenny Lawson

47. “When I was little, my father used to sell guns and ammo at a sporting goods store, but I always told everyone he was an arms dealer, because it sounded more exciting.”

— Jenny Lawson

48. “I had no idea how complicated and solitary it could be to write a simple book.”

— Jenny Lawson

49. “I have never been normal and I think we both know that.”

— Jenny Lawson

50. “How am I feeling?” I’m sort of in the mood to feel righteously indignant but I don’t have anything worth getting indignant about. I guess I’m mad that people aren’t stupider when I need them to be.”

— Jenny Lawson