“The road to success is always under construction.”
— Lily Tomlin
“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.”
“I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.”
“The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.”
“For fast-acting relief try slowing down.”
“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”
“I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.”
“Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.”
“The best mind-altering drug is the truth.”
“Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.”
“What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.”
“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?”
“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
“Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.”
“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”
“When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.”
“Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.”
“If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.”
“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.”
“If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.”
“No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.”
“Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?”
“We are all in this together, by ourselves.”
“Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.”
“When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.””
“Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.”
“We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.”
“Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.”
“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.”
“After all, in private, we’re all misfits.”
“I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.”
“I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.”
“We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.”
“Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.”
“In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone.”
“Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?”
“There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.”
“Reality is a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.”
“I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.”
“Infinity is just time on an ego trip.”
“If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?”
“Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.”
“Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.”
“Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.”
“What if it’s boring – or if it’s not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.”
“What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.”
“You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.”
“Remember we’re all in this alone.”
“You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.”
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