Top 300 Scott Adams Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “The Success Formula: Every Skill You Acquire Doubles Your Odds of Success.”

— Scott Adams

102. “Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.”

— Scott Adams

103. “Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”

— Scott Adams

104. “You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.”

— Scott Adams

105. “The only risk of failure is promotion.”

— Scott Adams

106. “There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.”

— Scott Adams

107. “Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice, tells us that people become unhappy if they have too many options in life. The problem with options is that choosing any path can leave you plagued with self-doubt.”

— Scott Adams

108. “People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.”

— Scott Adams

109. “I also find it helpful to remind myself that every human is a mess on the inside. It’s easy to assume the good-looking and well-spoken person in front of you has it all together and is therefore your superior. The reality is that everyone is a basket case on the inside. Some people just hide it better. Find me a normal person and I’ll show you someone you don’t know that well. It helps to remind yourself that your own flaws aren’t that bad compared with everyone else’s. I.”

— Scott Adams

110. “And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.”

— Scott Adams

111. “I used to be stupid but I’ve turned that situation around 360 degrees.”

— Scott Adams

112. “Successwise, you’re better off being good at two complementary skills than being excellent at one.”

— Scott Adams

113. “We’re a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.”

— Scott Adams

114. “Stem cells are like toenail clippings with a better career plan.”

— Scott Adams

115. “The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. – Wally’s Keynote Speech.”

— Scott Adams

116. “Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.”

— Scott Adams

117. “I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.”

— Scott Adams

118. “Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.”

— Scott Adams

119. “Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.”

— Scott Adams

120. “Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.”

— Scott Adams

121. “Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.”

— Scott Adams

122. “Recapping my skill set: I have poor art skills, mediocre business skills, good but not great writing talent, and an early knowledge of the Internet. And I have a good but not great sense of humor. I’m like one big mediocre soup. None of my skills are world-class, but when my mediocre skills are combined, they become a powerful market force.”

— Scott Adams

123. “My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.”

— Scott Adams

124. “Goal-oriented people exist in a state of continuous presuccess failure at best, and permanent failure at worst if things never work out. Systems people succeed every time they apply their systems, in the sense that they did what they intended to do. The goals people are fighting the feeling of discouragement at each turn. The systems people are feeling good every time they apply their system.”

— Scott Adams

125. “The only reasonable goal in life is maximizing your total lifetime experience of something called happiness. That might sound selfish, but it’s not. Only a sociopath or a hermit can find happiness through extreme selfishness. A normal person needs to treat others well in order to enjoy life.”

— Scott Adams

126. “Some physicists describe gravity in terms of ten dimensions all curled up. But those aren’t real words-just placeholders, used to refer to parts of abstract equations.”

— Scott Adams

127. “The job isn’t done until you’ve blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.”

— Scott Adams

128. “If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.”

— Scott Adams

129. “Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.”

— Scott Adams

130. “Confirmation bias looks exactly like knowledge gained from doing your own research.”

— Scott Adams

131. “We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.”

— Scott Adams

132. “Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity – except in politics where it’s called leadership.”

— Scott Adams

133. “It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism.”

— Scott Adams

134. “I wouldn’t be satisfied simply escaping from my prison of silence; I was planning to escape, free the other inmates, shoot the warden, and burn down the prison. Sometimes I get that way. It’s a surprisingly useful frame of mind.”

— Scott Adams

135. “Our perceptions of truth are built around what is practical, not what is true. Even the smartest human brain doesn’t have the capacity for discerning true facts. That’s why so many of us settle for scientific facts. It’s the best we can do.”

— Scott Adams

136. “I’ve long seen failure as a tool, not an outcome.”

— Scott Adams

137. “I don’t read the news to find truth, as that would be a foolish waste of time.”

— Scott Adams

138. “I try to avoid giving advice.”

— Scott Adams

139. “In the long run, any system that depends on your willpower will fail.”

— Scott Adams

140. “You often hear advice from successful people that you should “follow your passion.” That sounds perfectly reasonable the first time you hear it.”

— Scott Adams

141. “If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you’ll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.”

— Scott Adams

142. “Common sense isn’t a real thing. And its ugly cousin, fairness, is a concept invented so dumb people could participate in arguments.”

— Scott Adams

143. “You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won’t be that much of a change.”

— Scott Adams

144. “If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has extraordinary power.”

— Scott Adams

145. “The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.”

— Scott Adams

146. “For five hundred dollars, I’ll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.”

— Scott Adams

147. “Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain’s limits, not the universe’s.”

— Scott Adams

148. “I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.”

— Scott Adams

149. “I had several different bosses during the early years of ‘Dilbert.’ They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.”

— Scott Adams

150. “The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.”

— Scott Adams