Top 300 Scott Adams Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”

— Scott Adams

Featured in: Creativity Quotes

2. “Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.”

— Scott Adams

Featured in: Design Quotes, Quotes About Ideas

3. “Of course I don’t look busy, I did it right the first time.”

— Scott Adams

Featured in: Firsts Quotes, Humor Quotes

4. “If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.”

— Scott Adams

5. “Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.”

— Scott Adams

Featured in: Anger Quotes

6. “Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.”

— Scott Adams

7. “Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people’s hard work is rewarding and faster.”

— Scott Adams

8. “The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.”

— Scott Adams

9. “As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It’s just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.”

— Scott Adams

10. “Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”

— Scott Adams

11. “Good ideas have no value because the world already has too many of them. The market rewards execution, not ideas.”

— Scott Adams

12. “On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.”

— Scott Adams

13. “There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.”

— Scott Adams

14. “If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”

— Scott Adams

15. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.”

— Scott Adams

16. “Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.”

— Scott Adams

17. “When did ignorance become a point of view?”

— Scott Adams

18. “Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won’t be needing them again.”

— Scott Adams

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

19. “By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it’s difficult to sort them out.”

— Scott Adams

20. “When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.”

— Scott Adams

21. “There’s a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it’s where most of life happens.”

— Scott Adams

22. “Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.”

— Scott Adams

23. “Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.”

— Scott Adams

24. “There’s no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people’s. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it.”

— Scott Adams

25. “Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.”

— Scott Adams

26. “Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.”

— Scott Adams

27. “Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.”

— Scott Adams

28. “There’s nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.”

— Scott Adams

29. “The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.”

— Scott Adams

30. “Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.”

— Scott Adams

31. “Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.”

— Scott Adams

32. “Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.”

— Scott Adams

Featured in: Innovation Quotes

33. “Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.”

— Scott Adams

34. “The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.”

— Scott Adams

35. “Everybody is somebody’s else’s weirdo.”

— Scott Adams

36. “Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.”

— Scott Adams

37. “To err is human. To cover it up is weasel.”

— Scott Adams

38. “Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.”

— Scott Adams

39. “I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don’t mind that my quality approaches zero.”

— Scott Adams

40. “I should have written that down. – Dilbert.”

— Scott Adams

41. “I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.”

— Scott Adams

42. “Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”

— Scott Adams

43. “No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.”

— Scott Adams

44. “Most important, understand that goals are for losers and systems are for winners.”

— Scott Adams

45. “In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.”

— Scott Adams

46. “Management is nature’s way of removing idiots from the productive flow.”

— Scott Adams

47. “In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It’s called Karoshi. I don’t want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon.”

— Scott Adams

48. “Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there’s no limit to what you can achieve.”

— Scott Adams

49. “Great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.”

— Scott Adams

50. “Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.”

— Scott Adams