Top 300 Scott Adams Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “The longer you work here, diverse it gets.”

— Scott Adams

152. “If bad memories are keeping you from being happy, try crowding out the destructive memories with new and interesting thoughts. Stay busy, in mind and body, and time is on your side.”

— Scott Adams

153. “Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn.”

— Scott Adams

154. “Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.”

— Scott Adams

155. “I have no reason to believe humans evolved with the capability to understand their reality. That capability was not important to survival. When it comes to evolution, any illusion that keeps us alive long enough to procreate is good enough.”

— Scott Adams

156. “E-books are impervious to analogy.”

— Scott Adams

157. “Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.”

— Scott Adams

158. “It’s smarter to see your big-idea projects as part of a system to improve your energy, contacts, and skills.”

— Scott Adams

159. “The grand illusion of life is that our minds have the capacity to understand reality. But human minds didn’t evolve to understand reality. We didn’t need that capability. A clear view of reality wasn’t necessary for our survival. Evolution cares only that you survive long enough to procreate. And that’s a low bar. The result is that each of us is, in effect, living in our own little movie that our brain has cooked up for us to explain our experiences.”

— Scott Adams

160. “I can’t memorize names and shake hands at the same time.”

— Scott Adams

161. “It is a wondrous human characteristic to be able to slip into and out of idiocy many times a day without noticing the change or accidentally killing innocent bystanders in the process.”

— Scott Adams

162. “We humans don’t like uncertainty, so we are attracted to those who offer clarity and simple answers, even if the answers are wrong or incomplete. Master Persuaders can thrive in chaotic environments by offering the clarity people crave. And if an environment is not chaotic already, a skilled persuader who understands both social media and the news business can easily stir the pot to create an advantage through chaos. Candidate Trump was a champion of this method.”

— Scott Adams

163. “The only way to succeed in the long run is by using a system that bypasses your need for willpower.”

— Scott Adams

164. “This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.”

— Scott Adams

165. “Happiness has more to do with where you are heading than where you are.”

— Scott Adams

166. “Awareness does not come from receiving new information. It comes from rejecting old information.”

— Scott Adams

167. “I’ve explained to a number of people my observations about how exercise, diet, and sleep influence mood. The usual reaction is a blank expression followed by a change of topic. No one wants to believe that the formula for happiness is as simple as daydreaming, controlling your schedule, napping, eating right, and being active every day. You’d feel like an idiot for suffering so many unhappy days while not knowing the cure was so accessible.”

— Scott Adams

168. “In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can’t use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.”

— Scott Adams

169. “Success caused passion more than passion caused success.”

— Scott Adams

170. “Everything you want out of life is in that huge, bubbling vat of failure. The trick is to get the good stuff out.”

— Scott Adams

171. “According to Dr. Andrew Huberman, you can hack your dopamine reward system by reframing your work today as essential to the kind of future you want. That gives you a reason to be happy every day. I call it preferring systems over goals. If you are following a good system, the reward is that you followed the system.”

— Scott Adams

172. “He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.”

— Scott Adams

173. “The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the.”

— Scott Adams

174. “Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.”

— Scott Adams

175. “When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.”

— Scott Adams

176. “Technology: No Place for Wimps!”

— Scott Adams

177. “Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it’s never a good idea to put them in the same room.”

— Scott Adams

178. “Let’s form proactive synergy restructuring teams.”

— Scott Adams

179. “The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.”

— Scott Adams

180. “I’m not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I’m terribly uncomfortable.”

— Scott Adams

181. “Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That’s silly; technology is already way more interesting than other people.”

— Scott Adams

182. “In yesterday’s post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.”

— Scott Adams

183. “When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.”

— Scott Adams

184. “If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.”

— Scott Adams

185. “A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.”

— Scott Adams

186. “Stress is your body’s way of saying you haven’t worked enough unpaid overtime.”

— Scott Adams

187. “One thing I can say with complete certainty is that it is a bad idea to trust the majority of experts in any domain in which both complexity and large amounts of money are involved.”

— Scott Adams

188. “There’s kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don’t pet her for 10 minutes she’ll bother you for six hours.”

— Scott Adams

189. “I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer’s cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.”

— Scott Adams

190. “Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn’t mean I can’t be the first.”

— Scott Adams

191. “If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.”

— Scott Adams

192. “The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.”

— Scott Adams

193. “No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing – a yellow taxicab.”

— Scott Adams

194. “The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.”

— Scott Adams

195. “The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.”

— Scott Adams

196. “People think they follow advice but they don’t. Humans are only capable of receiving information. They create their own advice. If you seek to influence someone, don’t waste time giving advice. You can change only what people know, not what they do.”

— Scott Adams

197. “I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.”

— Scott Adams

198. “You can change only what people know, not what they do.”

— Scott Adams

199. “The most effective way to stop people from trying to persuade me is to say, ‘I’m not interested.’ You should try it. Don’t offer a reason why you aren’t interested. No one can say why a thing holds interest for some and not for others. There’s no argument against a lack of interest.”

— Scott Adams

200. “Home is pretty utopian.”

— Scott Adams