Top 500 T.J. Klune Quotes (2024 Update)
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451. “Ooh,” Bernice said. “That’s catchy.” “Like chlamydia,” he muttered under his breath.”

— T.J. Klune

452. “Every test we ran, every simulation, ended with the same result: for the world to survive, humans could not.”

— T.J. Klune

453. “We are who we are not because of our birthright, but because of what we choose to do in this life. It cannot be boiled down to black and white. Not when there is so much in between. You cannot say something is moral or immoral without understanding the nuances behind it.”

— T.J. Klune

454. “You know,” Carter said, “this is the point in horror movies where I usually shout at the screen for the people to not go inside the house.” “You’re a werewolf,” I muttered. “You’re the one that’s usually waiting for the people inside the house.”

— T.J. Klune

455. “Wow,” Wallace said. “That’s sexual harassment. We’re going to sue him. We’re going to sue him for everything he’s worth, just you wait and see. I’ll draft up the papers just as soon as – oh. Right. I’m dead. Goddammit. Don’t let him stick his thermometer in your baked goods!”

— T.J. Klune

456. “She crossed her arms and pouted. “Nothing’s stopping us. You told me that we should always try to achieve our dreams.” “I didn’t have murder in mind when I told you that,” Hugo said dryly. “That’s because you think too small. Go big or go home.”

— T.J. Klune

457. “Mrs. Klapper scoffed. “Perhaps you should consider making time, Mr. Baker. Being alone at your age isn’t healthy. I’d hate to think of what would happen if you were to blow your brains out. It’d hurt the resale value of the whole neighborhood.” “I’m not depressed!” She looked him up and down. “You aren’t? Why on earth not?”

— T.J. Klune

458. “How am I supposed to make new friends if I can’t tell them about how they’ll die? What’s the point?”

— T.J. Klune

459. “Change comes when people want it enough, Mr. Baker. And I do. I promise you that. It may take some time, but you’ll see. Today has been a swift kick in the seat of my trousers.”

— T.J. Klune

460. “There are times when all I can think about is marking you so everyone knows who you belong to. To carve my name into your skin so you never forget me. To hide my family away so no one can ever hurt them. I have to protect what’s mine. Richard tried to take that away from me, and I think it made it worse. I don’t think he knew that he was making it worse.”

— T.J. Klune

461. “I don’t pretend to know the minds of men,” she said, hands tightening on the steering wheel as a woman on the sidewalk appeared to shield her chubby, squawking children away from the car. “They fear what they don’t understand. And that fear turns to hate for reasons I’m sure even they can’t begin to comprehend. And since they don’t understand the children, since they fear them, they hate them. This can’t be the first time you’ve heard of this. It happens everywhere.”

— T.J. Klune

462. “Death isn’t always something to be feared. It’s not the be-all and end-all.”

— T.J. Klune

463. “It’s not always about what we can or can’t have, but the work we put into it.”

— T.J. Klune

464. “Who the hell did Seth think he was, walking in here to save the day, looking so stupidly adorable that Nick thought he would just die?”

— T.J. Klune

465. “All animals can talk, but people choose not to hear them. You should really work on that as a species, especially since you all seem hell bent on destroying everything you can get your hands on.”

— T.J. Klune

466. “Because it’s better not to know if we’re about to die. That way, we don’t start screaming right now. It’ll be a surprise. We can always scream then.”

— T.J. Klune

467. “You were made to bring happiness. You are alive in ways we are not. You are soft and fragile. But you are complex and disturbing and sometimes foolishly brilliant.”

— T.J. Klune

468. “Our odds of success are low. But that has never stopped us before.”

— T.J. Klune

469. “Calliope, a thing of evil, sat on the edge of his bed, black tail twitching as she watched him with bright green eyes. She started purring. In most cats, it would be a soothing sound. In Calliope, it indicated devious plotting involving nefarious deeds.”

— T.J. Klune

470. “Well, it was so quiet you could have heard a molecule fart three states away.”

— T.J. Klune

471. “If we can’t laugh at ourselves, we’re doing it wrong.”

— T.J. Klune

472. “She doesn’t like you,” Talia said. “Don’t feel too bad about it, though. She doesn’t like most people. It isn’t personal, I don’t think. She would just rather you weren’t here. Or alive.”

— T.J. Klune

473. “To see children who aren’t wanted by anyone be allowed to prosper. You know as well as I do that the term orphanage is a misnomer, Mr. Baker. No one comes here looking to adopt.”

— T.J. Klune

474. “Just because we don’t tell you everything doesn’t mean we don’t know we can come to you on our terms, when we’re ready.”

— T.J. Klune

475. “Let’s lead with that next time,” Mr. Parnassus said. “It might sound more humane.”

— T.J. Klune

476. “We must remember to say what’s in our hearts aloud because we can never know if it’ll be the last time we’ll ever get the chance.”

— T.J. Klune

477. “He thought he was going to cry again, but since he’d done it twice in as many days, he decided it was probably best if he tried to be a man for a little while. Then he thought that was sexist, so he allowed another tear to spill onto his cheek. Nick was – and always would be – invested in dismantling the patriarchy. Tumblr had taught him that.”

— T.J. Klune

478. “What did I say about animals?” Mr. Parnassus said. Lucy stomped toward a closed door near the chairs. “I’m not supposed to kill them because only serial killers do that, and if they’re already dead, I can’t play with the remains because I’ll smell bad.”

— T.J. Klune

479. “Yes. Exactly. Lucy might cause fear in the majority of the world, but he doesn’t cause it in me. I’ve seen what he is capable of. Behind the eyes and the demon in his soul, he is charming and witty and terribly smart. I will fight for him as I would for any of my children.”

— T.J. Klune

480. “And if you were of the lucky sort, sometimes that life chose you back.”

— T.J. Klune

481. “I’ve never been more human.” “Why?” Dad asked. “Because I breathe, but I can’t catch my breath.”

— T.J. Klune

482. “Hope. Because even though you never asked for it, you are hope, a dream of a forgotten world. Carry that in your soul. Carry that, and may the burden never cause you to stumble.”

— T.J. Klune

483. “Every moment we live is another moment we’re already dying.”

— T.J. Klune

484. “So they can do anal but they can’t have a talk about feelings? That seems backward if you ask me.”

— T.J. Klune

485. “But we must pick and choose our fights. Just because someone else acts a certain way, doesn’t mean we should respond in kind. It’s what makes us different. It’s what makes us good.”

— T.J. Klune

486. “Linus. I heard you had quite the adventure.” “Indeed. A bit out of my comfort zone.” “I expect that’s how most explorers feel when they step out of the only world they know for the first time.”

— T.J. Klune

487. “A shattered heart can be heavier than a broken limb.”

— T.J. Klune

488. “I was not cursed with an overabundance of brains. My mom said I was just fine, My daddy thought I was slow. My mom said it wasn’t a race.”

— T.J. Klune

489. “Warmth led to laziness. When one was cold, one kept moving.”

— T.J. Klune

490. “There must be no greater feeling in the world than to know that this isn’t forever.”

— T.J. Klune

491. “I always thought unicorns were made from sunshine and rainbows and good feelings. Like you just appeared one day in a field filled with flowers and a big fat sunbeam falling all around you. And there’d be butterflies or something.” That sounded way pretty. And realistic for unicorn creation.”

— T.J. Klune

492. “My malt brings all the boys to the vestibule.”

— T.J. Klune

493. “Everyone loses their way at some point, and it’s not just because of their mistakes or the decisions they make. It’s because they’re horribly, wonderfully human. And the one thing I’ve learned about being human is that we can’t do this alone. When we’re lost, we need help to try to find our way again.”

— T.J. Klune

494. “Children are different. Their connections to life are stronger. They love with their whole hearts because they don’t know how else to be.”

— T.J. Klune

495. “It was a feeling of unreality that washed over Linus then, a discordant wave that felt like it was sucking him down. He couldn’t catch his breath.”

— T.J. Klune

496. “He’d learned early on in life that if he didn’t speak, people often forgot he was there or even existed. His mother had told him once when he was a child that he blended in with the paint on the wall, only memorable when one was reminded it was there at all.”

— T.J. Klune

497. “There are mysteries that may never be solved no matter how hard we try. And if we try too hard trying to solve them, we may miss what’s right in front of us.”

— T.J. Klune

498. “Sometimes, the people we want to protect the most might not understand why we do the things we do. But that doesn’t mean they love us any less. Only you can decide where your faith lies.”

— T.J. Klune

499. “We’re all on different paths, but death doesn’t discriminate. It comes for everyone.”

— T.J. Klune

500. “Morality is relative. Just because you find something abhorrent, doesn’t mean it actually is.”

— T.J. Klune