Top 500 T.J. Klune Quotes (2025 Update)
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151. “You can be the queen,” I allowed. “Just don’t tell Gary I said that. Friendships have ended for a lot less than that.”

— T.J. Klune

152. “But you have to believe me that it’s always been you. I promise. I promise.” His voice cracked and my hands shook. “I promise, because when I look upon these stars, there is nothing I wish for more than you.”

— T.J. Klune

153. “One of the great travesties of life is finding out porn is unrealistic.”

— T.J. Klune

154. “Sorry,” he muttered as he pulled it away. “Sure,” I said faintly. “Sure.” I wondered how to go about asking him to poke me with his sword again.”

— T.J. Klune

155. “And I’m a Foxy Lady,” Tina said. “Because of reasons.” She stared at his chest. Everyone understood her reasons. Even me.”

— T.J. Klune

156. “I just like looking at nice things. And want to touch them with my mouth.”

— T.J. Klune

157. “You’re the only one I trust to help me with my love life.” “That was the worst thing a human being has ever said to me. Don’t do it again.”

— T.J. Klune

158. “Gary snorted. When he did, little pink and purple sparkles shot out his nose. Being a unicorn is awesome like that.”

— T.J. Klune

159. “I have things to say to you, Gordo. So many things. Things you might not be ready to hear. But I will mean every word of them. If it gets to the point where I start to go feral –.”

— T.J. Klune

160. “You want to get a drink later? Maybe after, if you’re lucky, you can finally find out what it means to taste the rainbow.”

— T.J. Klune

161. “A werewolf is courting me with a dead rabbit. There’s nothing subtle here.”

— T.J. Klune

162. “Boys can wear makeup,” Tiggy said. “Not just for women. That a social construct.” I.”

— T.J. Klune

163. “Hate is loud, but i think you’ll learn it’s because it’s only a few people shouting, desperate to be heard.”

— T.J. Klune

164. “Honey bear,” the unicorn said. “You are the gayest thing I’ve seen since I last saw my own reflection.”

— T.J. Klune

165. “I don’t care who you are,” he tells me, his voice clear and strong. “I don’t care if you love differently than everyone else. It doesn’t matter because you’re still my brother.”

— T.J. Klune

166. “I don’t say things I don’t mean. Life is too short for it.”

— T.J. Klune

167. “Because revenge is the lesson taught by animals. Because it’s more difficult to show mercy. I showed him mercy because he’d never shown my family the same.”

— T.J. Klune

168. “You make me feel like I’m burning up from the inside out.”

— T.J. Klune

169. “I said, “I have bad dreams too. But then I remember I’m awake and that the bad dreams can’t follow me when I’m awake. And then I feel better.”

— T.J. Klune

170. “That’s not the question you should be asking, though, if this is a dream. The question you should be asking is what you’re going to do now? Because you’re awake?”

— T.J. Klune

171. “The first time you share tea, you are a stranger. The second time you share tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share tea, you become family.”

— T.J. Klune

172. “I am but paper. Brittle and thin. I am held up to the sun, and it shines right through me. I get written on, and I can never be used again. These scratches are a history. They’re a story.”

— T.J. Klune

173. “Sometimes, Gus didn’t understand how he found himself in the situations that he did. Even if he was the common denominator, he obviously was not at fault. There had to be some other cosmic power that lorded over him. That made sense. Well, a lot of things made sense now that he was high.”

— T.J. Klune

174. “Dragons,” I said. “They’re hoarders. They keep the things they think are pretty. Gold and jewels. In this case, Justin. To each his own, I guess.”

— T.J. Klune

175. “I’m not crazy.” “Never said you were. Therapy isn’t necessarily for crazy, though it’s ableist to think that way.”

— T.J. Klune

176. “Mom said, “He didn’t want to sleep with you so he knocked you through a building? That’s rude. He could have just moved on.”

— T.J. Klune

177. “Four men walked from among the trees. All of them had their heads shaved. The one in the front, the Alpha, had a beard, dirty blond and full. He was the same size as the other two wolves, large and intimidating, moving with a grace he hadn’t had before. The fourth man moved with them, smaller than the others, but his tattoos were as bright as they’d ever been, the raven fluttering on his arm. They.”

— T.J. Klune

178. “Then he started taking off his clothes, so I said, “You’re getting naked?” Because of all the skin. His shirt was already off when he said, “What?” I grasped onto the only thing that made sense. “You’re seventeen!” “Not for too much longer,” he said and his voice was deep. Because he was leering. Instead.”

— T.J. Klune

179. “All I wanted to do was come home, because without you, I don’t have a home.”

— T.J. Klune

180. “I glanced back at my merry little band of travelers. A hornless gay unicorn. A half-giant. A knight who was a jerk but that I wanted to have for breakfast.”

— T.J. Klune

181. “You think yourself alone. You think yourself lost. We wanted to show you that there was so much more than this place. We didn’t come to hurt you. We didn’t come to save you. Only you can do that. We came to be your friend. To make you understand that, in the end, you are never alone.”

— T.J. Klune

182. “I know you were hurt and have every reason to be angry, but just know that there hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought about you and Ty. Maybe that’s my punishment, knowing you are doing well and knowing I had nothing to do with it. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you, for having done so great despite people breaking their promises to you.”

— T.J. Klune

183. “She sighed. “You’re smarter than you look. That can’t possibly be good.”

— T.J. Klune

184. “We have places to go, people to yell at us and break our hearts, in case you forgot.”

— T.J. Klune

185. “So I said, “Goddammit,” and hugged it out with the both of them, because feelings.”

— T.J. Klune

186. “You might be the only one Otter will listen to, but I know for a fact hes the only one you listen to.”

— T.J. Klune

187. “You can’t own what belongs to the world.”

— T.J. Klune

188. “One thing that they don’t tell you is that fires can’t burn bright forever.”

— T.J. Klune

189. “The third day, he wasn’t on the road. I wanted to feel relieved. Instead, I was disappointed. Until I got home. Mom had had the day off, the first in a long while. So, of course, she was home when I got there. And so was Joe. Sitting at our kitchen table. Wearing dress pants, a dress shirt. And a bow tie. Which, unbeknownst to me, turned out to be one of my greatest weaknesses. I.”

— T.J. Klune

190. “Sometimes volume is needed to get through thick skulls.”

— T.J. Klune

191. “Mark was watching me. “What?” I asked, still chuckling. He shook his head slowly. “Uh – nothing. I just – it’s nice. Hearing you. Like this. I like it. When you laugh.” Then he blushed furiously and looked away.”

— T.J. Klune

192. “Then Rico said, “Okay, like. No offense, papi. You know I love you. Bros for life, and all that. But did you go a little nuts in your head from the mystical moon magic? Because it seems like you went a little nuts in your head from the mystical moon magic.”

— T.J. Klune

193. “Everything has to start somewhere. And as long as we nurture them, they can grow beyond anything we thought possible.”

— T.J. Klune

194. “I totally don’t love you too, Papa Bear,” and then his mouth is on mine, and for a moment, that blissful feeling is back, but this time it’s accompanied by something else, something that feels strangely like the sun.”

— T.J. Klune

195. “It’s been said by many people that I look like I know what I’m doing.”

— T.J. Klune

196. “Hi, my name is Ryan Foxheart. Oh no! There’s danger afoot! Let me pull out my sword and pose.” I mimed pulling a sword from my side and cocked an eyebrow. “Notice how dashing I am. And immaculate. And today, my hair is parted on the right. Wink.”

— T.J. Klune

197. “Somewhere, a bird sang a song that ached.”

— T.J. Klune

198. “I’m angry,” I admitted. “So angry.” “I know,” she said, squeezing my hands. “It’s why we’re dancing. I find it hard to be angry when I’m dancing. There’s just something about it that doesn’t foster rage.”

— T.J. Klune

199. “I squawked attractively. Okay. That was a lie. There is no way to squawk attractively. It was rather unattractive. Arms flailing, legs kicking. It was just awful.”

— T.J. Klune

200. “It should have been obvious. It should have been obvious what they were, but then I wasn’t looking for the incredible buried in the ordinary.”

— T.J. Klune