Top 500 T.J. Klune Quotes (2026 Update)
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151. “Sam Haversford. You had a crush on him.”

— T.J. Klune

152. “You think yourself alone. You think yourself lost. We wanted to show you that there was so much more than this place. We didn’t come to hurt you. We didn’t come to save you. Only you can do that. We came to be your friend. To make you understand that, in the end, you are never alone.”

— T.J. Klune

153. “You sound like a young person. You are probably all hip to the lingo the kids use these days.” “You and I are the same age, Mr. Tiberius.”

— T.J. Klune

154. “Saying goodbye is rough. I think I told you once that goodbye sounds so stupid and final and blah, blah, blah. But I was younger then. I didn’t know what I know now. Roads can diverge. It’s tough but true. It’ll be okay. In the end. So you’ll go one way. And we’ll go another. Maybe one day we’ll meet again. But even if we don’t, remember this: We have lived. We have loved. We have lost. But we’re standing. For all that we are, we’re still standing.”

— T.J. Klune

155. “You’re a talking unicorn,” I said. “Sometimes when you poop, it comes out as rainbows and smells like cookies. There is nothing subtle about you.”

— T.J. Klune

156. “There are things more important in this world than where I come from. And that’s where I’m going.”

— T.J. Klune

157. “I fell in love with Ryan, you got jealous, then I fell out of love with him because he seemed needy, you tied me up, I got half a chubby because it reminded me of Octavio, and now you have a date with Ryan. Oops. I mean Todd. Gosh, I’m beat. What a long night.”

— T.J. Klune

158. “LOL. Wuteva. “What the hell does that mean?” Gus asked. “Lawl? Lole? I don’t speak youth!”

— T.J. Klune

159. “I am evil incarnate,” the dastardly voice said. “I am the blight upon the skin of this world. And I will bring it to its knees. Prepare for the End of Days! Your time has come, and the rivers will run with the blood of the innocents!” Talia sighed. “He’s such a drama queen.”

— T.J. Klune

160. “Can I kiss you?” It was said so shyly, so hesitantly, that I ached with it. “You want to?” I asked quietly. He nodded once, a little jerk of his head. “I guess that’s all right,” I said. “I’m not your first.” “No.” “And you’re not mine.” “No,” I said, jaw tense. “But you’re the only one that matters. So, it’s like it’s the first. For the both of us.”

— T.J. Klune

161. “One of the great travesties of life is finding out porn is unrealistic.”

— T.J. Klune

162. “Since it wasn’t polite to ask someone if he could keep them in his pocket, he didn’t.”

— T.J. Klune

163. “It’s the hipsters,” David said. “It’s retro. They need a place to convene and argue whether Holden Caulfield was deep or just a spoiled brat.”

— T.J. Klune

164. “We have places to go, people to yell at us and break our hearts, in case you forgot.”

— T.J. Klune

165. “We’re going out and getting drunk. I’m tired of being sixteen years old and never having gotten intoxicated. It’s like I’m doing nothing with my life.”

— T.J. Klune

166. “You can be the queen,” I allowed. “Just don’t tell Gary I said that. Friendships have ended for a lot less than that.”

— T.J. Klune

167. “There are enough people out there that will be more than willing to knock you down. There’s no reason for you to do it to yourself.”

— T.J. Klune

168. “The cause of death listed by the coroner would be swooning over elderly men who were too precious for this world.”

— T.J. Klune

169. “Do you see the mark on his neck?” I asked her. She nodded tightly. “The raven.” “Do you know what that means?” “Yes.” “Then you know I would do anything for him.” “Would you?” she asked. “Why now? Why after all this time?” “Because if this is the end,” I said as honestly as I could, “he needed to know that I never stopped loving him.”

— T.J. Klune

170. “Above it was a sign. It didn’t have any words on it. Instead there was a fluffy teddy bear with an eye patch, a harness, and a leather cap tilted on its head. It had a cigar sticking out of its bared teeth. I had never seen a teddy bear leer before. It was quite eye-opening.”

— T.J. Klune

171. “Everything has to start somewhere. And as long as we nurture them, they can grow beyond anything we thought possible.”

— T.J. Klune

172. “Because revenge is the lesson taught by animals. Because it’s more difficult to show mercy. I showed him mercy because he’d never shown my family the same.”

— T.J. Klune

173. “She sighed. “You’re smarter than you look. That can’t possibly be good.”

— T.J. Klune

174. “You’re the only one I trust to help me with my love life.” “That was the worst thing a human being has ever said to me. Don’t do it again.”

— T.J. Klune

175. “I don’t care who you are,” he tells me, his voice clear and strong. “I don’t care if you love differently than everyone else. It doesn’t matter because you’re still my brother.”

— T.J. Klune

176. “Then he started taking off his clothes, so I said, “You’re getting naked?” Because of all the skin. His shirt was already off when he said, “What?” I grasped onto the only thing that made sense. “You’re seventeen!” “Not for too much longer,” he said and his voice was deep. Because he was leering. Instead.”

— T.J. Klune

177. “You want to get a drink later? Maybe after, if you’re lucky, you can finally find out what it means to taste the rainbow.”

— T.J. Klune

178. “I said, “I have bad dreams too. But then I remember I’m awake and that the bad dreams can’t follow me when I’m awake. And then I feel better.”

— T.J. Klune

179. “Gary snorted. When he did, little pink and purple sparkles shot out his nose. Being a unicorn is awesome like that.”

— T.J. Klune

180. “Sorry,” he muttered as he pulled it away. “Sure,” I said faintly. “Sure.” I wondered how to go about asking him to poke me with his sword again.”

— T.J. Klune

181. “If wishes were fishes, we’d all swim in riches.”

— T.J. Klune

182. “I just like looking at nice things. And want to touch them with my mouth.”

— T.J. Klune

183. “I have things to say to you, Gordo. So many things. Things you might not be ready to hear. But I will mean every word of them. If it gets to the point where I start to go feral –.”

— T.J. Klune

184. “Honey bear,” the unicorn said. “You are the gayest thing I’ve seen since I last saw my own reflection.”

— T.J. Klune

185. “A werewolf is courting me with a dead rabbit. There’s nothing subtle here.”

— T.J. Klune

186. “Boys can wear makeup,” Tiggy said. “Not just for women. That a social construct.” I.”

— T.J. Klune

187. “Sometimes, Gus didn’t understand how he found himself in the situations that he did. Even if he was the common denominator, he obviously was not at fault. There had to be some other cosmic power that lorded over him. That made sense. Well, a lot of things made sense now that he was high.”

— T.J. Klune

188. “I’m not crazy.” “Never said you were. Therapy isn’t necessarily for crazy, though it’s ableist to think that way.”

— T.J. Klune

189. “The first time you share tea, you are a stranger,” Mei said. “The second time you share tea,” Nelson said, “you are an honored guest.” Hugo nodded. “And the third time you share tea, you become family. It’s a Balti quote.”

— T.J. Klune

190. “There are moments in your life, moments when chances have to be taken. It’s scary because there is always the possibility of failure. I know that. I know that. Because once upon a time, I took a chance on a man that I had failed before. I was scared. I was terrified. I thought I might lose everything. But I wasn’t living, then. The life I had before wasn’t living. It was getting by. And I will never regret the chances I took.”

— T.J. Klune

191. “I know you were hurt and have every reason to be angry, but just know that there hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought about you and Ty. Maybe that’s my punishment, knowing you are doing well and knowing I had nothing to do with it. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you, for having done so great despite people breaking their promises to you.”

— T.J. Klune

192. “Mom said, “He didn’t want to sleep with you so he knocked you through a building? That’s rude. He could have just moved on.”

— T.J. Klune

193. “You might be the only one Otter will listen to, but I know for a fact hes the only one you listen to.”

— T.J. Klune

194. “All I wanted to do was come home, because without you, I don’t have a home.”

— T.J. Klune

195. “I glanced back at my merry little band of travelers. A hornless gay unicorn. A half-giant. A knight who was a jerk but that I wanted to have for breakfast.”

— T.J. Klune

196. “Dragons,” I said. “They’re hoarders. They keep the things they think are pretty. Gold and jewels. In this case, Justin. To each his own, I guess.”

— T.J. Klune

197. “Four men walked from among the trees. All of them had their heads shaved. The one in the front, the Alpha, had a beard, dirty blond and full. He was the same size as the other two wolves, large and intimidating, moving with a grace he hadn’t had before. The fourth man moved with them, smaller than the others, but his tattoos were as bright as they’d ever been, the raven fluttering on his arm. They.”

— T.J. Klune

198. “Eso es la vida, Ox, elecciones. Las elecciones que hacemos dan forma a lo que nos convertiremos.”

— T.J. Klune

199. “That’s not the question you should be asking, though, if this is a dream. The question you should be asking is what you’re going to do now? Because you’re awake?”

— T.J. Klune

200. “I totally don’t love you too, Papa Bear,” and then his mouth is on mine, and for a moment, that blissful feeling is back, but this time it’s accompanied by something else, something that feels strangely like the sun.”

— T.J. Klune